What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

[HazelMaker]

The 1990s

I have a great marriage.

It is so much nicer now that people's platforms can be severely impacted if they are racist, sexist or homophobic. I agree 👍

Bully for you!

Living in a big house.

Yes, tiny violin, but it was awful.

Big cavernous kitchen, echoey, everyone too far away from each other, soooo much cleaning, garden a nightmare to keep on top of, heating cost a fortune, isolated as hardly saw any neighbours, not cosy, maintenance never ending, so quiet, all just too much and ridiculous.

Downsized to a little terrace and SO much happier in every way. We are closer as a family as we see each other around the house more! Cheaper, cosier, cuter, easier, happier.

Also we have much more disposable income.

Bigger is not always better! Never again.

You take that back! 😭😂😂

One odd English trait (and I say English rather than British because I’m not sure this applies to the Scots) is a lack of bluntness/direct speech. English people will often say they find foreigners ‘blunt’. They call the Dutch blunt, the Germans, the French, the Russians…almost everyone. But that’s because the English are so endlessly non-direct and non-blunt. English culture is saturated in irony, puns, sarcasm, and double meaning. They will do anything rather than state a simple order or fact. Also, English people often smile or laugh and foreigners will have no idea why. It’s bewildering. To English people, simply stating a fact is considered rude.

I remember a Polish woman who worked with me being given instructions by her English supervisor, who said something like “if you could just put that over there and then, if you’ve got time, but don’t worry if you haven’t, could you move the desk back where it was. Sorry to dump all this on you just before closing but we’re short staffed today and so I don’t have much choice.” By the end, the poor lady was utterly confused and another Pole had to translate it into blunt/direct English: “put that there, and then move the desk there.” 😄It seems a uniquely English thing, though maybe other countries share this. Do they? I don’t speak Italian, but I’ve often wondered if Italian culture is a bit like that. Or maybe Japanese.

I can’t wait to downsize. Not quite the right time yet but I dream of leaving this 4/5 bed house and live in a little two bed. I can't afford the upkeep but neither can I afford to move. When I read of celebrities buying massive houses for tens of millions I just think yuck no thanks.

Where and when did you live in a true socialist society that wasn’t worth it?

Catherine Middleton and William Wales

The 50s and 60s. Life was grim for most. Cold houses, baths once a week, wearing clothes that needed washing more often than they could be washed, hard physical work to run a home, and the effects of a war economy in the 40s still taking their toll i.e. Britain was still paying the lend-lease agreement for ships etc from the US. Dire times with a bit of icing in the form of pop bands at the end of the 60s. Not fun.

100% agree. The job is not as it was.
I used to absolutely love my job not so much now. The joy has been replaced with stress and pressure.

Can echo that did same and doing same again right now :-(

Automatically respecting your elders.

Respect is earned.

True. Your 60s are better.

Trying to be a professional singer / pop star.
Trying to be a professional artist.
Working in a vineyard.
Working in TV.
However, I grew up in a multi-generational house and adored my grandparents and they were probably the happiest years of my life.

Stop saying things were better decades ago.... I lived the 80s 90s 00s and they were all the same. Struggling and difficult with a few nice memories thrown in!! We had nothing and we've still got nothing apart from that we make ourselves

The decades in the latter half of the 20th century. For me, the 1980s: there was a tonne of creativity but it was in reaction to a repressive society and everything being fairly crap.

Also, cottagecore and the like. My parents grew up on working farms living 'off the grid' because there was no grid, breaking the ice on the water basin to wash in the morning etc etc. They worked hard so I could have central heating, go to university, not need to grow or kill my own food, and sit around typing on a laptop instead of doing backbreaking labour from dawn to dusk. It's amazing to me that young people are now yearning to return to such a 'simpler time'. I do understand what they're reacting to, and their critique isn't wrong - but their romantic alternative is everything my parents desperately wanted to get away from. Ok, sure, the little cottage and the garden and gathering flowers in an apron is a nice image - but have you actually tried, say, doing a family's laundry without a machine?

Van Life . It was hard work for very little reward .Most of the time the weather was crap and I was freezing cold and or wet and my finger nails were constantly broken .

I'm an inpatient right now and it's definitely not a pleasant environment

I used to ride my bike through a gorgeous little part of the next village to us which was kind of situated in the middle of the woods. I dreamt of living there. A 4 bedroom 3 story house came up for rent at a reasonable price so we moved there. The next door neighbours were stuck up prices and thr husband turned out to be the landlords boss so any bit of noise we made/the garden wasn't to the neighbours standard he would moan to our landlord at work. It had oil heating which cost a fortune. We had a log burner which I loved when it was burning but was a bloody pain. We had mice in winter and got blamed by the stuck up that the other side for rats that were in the wood sheds. It was a blessing in disguise when we got evicted (probably the landlords boss offering him a promotion if he did)

This is very sad.

This, and children, and family. So much hard work and little reward

How sad. I find my children & family hugely rewarding.

Could Russia have been one?

Sorry to hear that. I hope you get home soon. They are not peaceful places at all.

Totally agree, moved from a 3 storey 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom house to a bungalow. Much happier here