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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

1000 replies

HazelMaker · 18/04/2025 13:11

The 1990s

OP posts:
Mjolnirsruin · 19/04/2025 18:35

"That gives me PTSD", just fuck off. Me and my PTSD are offended.

GlitteryRainbow · 19/04/2025 18:36

Life. It sucks.

localnotail · 19/04/2025 18:39

Also, maybe not much of a thing now - but having a guy "winning you over" - as featured in many romantic type films - basically, having someone bothering and embarrassing you with their non stop stalking and unwanted attention. Just fuck off you loser.

Menobaby79 · 19/04/2025 18:42

CrazyCatMam · 18/04/2025 13:34

Forever home / fixer upper / reno.

More like money drain / stress / dust.

Social media has a lot to answer for.

Definitely this one 👌

applepieandapplepie · 19/04/2025 18:50

Grammar schools

Ctu24agent · 19/04/2025 18:54

Windowtothe · 18/04/2025 13:25

Eating out. Nearly always shit.

Yes this!! I look forward to it as it’s a rare treat for us… and it’s always mediocre at best! Or maybe I just can’t afford to eat at decent places 😂

wastingtimeonhere · 19/04/2025 18:54

Big extended families and the family get togethers with the matriarch/patriarch. All those I know are utterly dysfunctional with adult 'children' unable to act as independent adults even with children.

Motherhood generally. Although severe PND and autistic spectrum DS that could cloud my judgement. Utter drain on body and mind and certainly no joy.

Country living, unless you have plenty of money being stuck in a village without public transport or any facilities is no picnic.

Generally anything that suggests a 'Darling Buds of May' type lifestyle.

chalkiegirl · 19/04/2025 18:54

saywhatdidhesay · 18/04/2025 13:18

Having a touring caravan

Couldn’t agree more. Six years ago I told my husband I’d give it a try and now he won’t consider any other form of holiday. I just hate the confines of a small tourer - it’s just like being at home except there’s less room!

RachLoveLife · 19/04/2025 18:55

Lastknownaddress · 18/04/2025 14:33

Being an only child.

If I had a pound for everyone who told me it must be lovely to be "spoilt" I would give Bezos a run for his money. The reality is, that as you age it is only you around to deal with the s**t.

Ditto. I can relate as I’m an only.

CharloMoulin · 19/04/2025 18:56

Welsh medium schools = shitholes

SiobhanSharpe · 19/04/2025 18:57

Boarding school. The reality is so far from the fictionalised bollocks it would be laughable of it wasn't so tragic.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/04/2025 18:57

PTSD.

NeedToChangeName · 19/04/2025 18:59

PoppyTonthere · 19/04/2025 18:13

Large, multi generational family get-togethers which, romanticists would have us believe are happy, jolly events where all the family muck in, have fun and generally enjoy each others company without judgementalism. The reality that I've endured is that they're hotbeds of jealousy, irritability and one-upmanship, regardless of occasion or venue. But that's possibly just my family, mainly my narcissistic mother. Probably why we rarely see each other anymore. Thankfully.

That's a pity. My family gatherings involve up to 30 people and we do all get on well. Meet approx every 5 tears with the whole clan, for eg a wedding / significant birthday

lochmaree · 19/04/2025 19:01

Homeschooling, gentle parenting, SAHMing

Lauraa7 · 19/04/2025 19:08

Moving to Australia

housethatbuiltme · 19/04/2025 19:10

Friartruckster · 18/04/2025 13:15

This, and children, and family. So much hard work and little reward.

Some of us are happily married and actually like our kids... its not 'romanticized' its just the truth, theres no one I would rather be around. I literally get to live with my best friends and yes being a mam have times when they stress you but I wouldn't change it for anything as they are still my favorite people. It must be sad to be married to someone you hate and I feel sorry for the kids whose parents hate them for existing.

In that vein people that 'romanticize' being alone (not things like going out on a day out alone for me time but those pretending every other human is the issue and they want to live on a rock miles away from everyone). The people who insist partners, family, friends are too much hard work and your better without any of it. Even shy/introverted people don't revel in loneliness they just have a small circle of loving trust cutting out the bigger lake of more casual friendships.

Isolation has been used as a cruel punishment for millennia and has scientifically been proven to cause MH issues and to be a huge crisis issue in the modern world. I assume people that do proclaim it are attempting to 'self protect' from the fact they have ended up lonely and it makes them feel more in control to pretend they 'chose' to have it that way. As they say though 'Just because you tell the same lie thousands of times, it doesn't suddenly become the truth'.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/04/2025 19:11

cardibach · 18/04/2025 14:26

I had a fab time at an Italian last night. It’s so rare I can’t remember when I had a crap meal out. Yes, it’s more expensive than cooking at home, but it’s the social aspect I enjoy particularly.

Eating out is so much fun that I don't understand why people get takeaways, except maybe if they can't leave the house because of a baby or something.

OhMyMirror · 19/04/2025 19:15

ADHD/Autism in women.
It doesn't make you "quirky" and a bit crazy and impulsive...its debilitating sometimes. I almost lost my whole life due to my symptoms. I struggle daily.

AfricanGreen · 19/04/2025 19:19

Fostering

pinkhousesarebest · 19/04/2025 19:20

Living in Paris.

Arran2024 · 19/04/2025 19:21

Home made birthday cake. Usually really dry and falling apart.

DancingOctopus · 19/04/2025 19:22

XenoBitch · 18/04/2025 13:19

Being in a mental health hospital. Some people seem to think it is just a little break away from your responsibilities

Do people really think that? I would assume most people would not like that " little break" but think it a nightmarish situation, being so ill that you needed to be admitted.
I hope that you are recovered now Xenobitch.

CharloMoulin · 19/04/2025 19:23

Arran2024 · 19/04/2025 19:21

Home made birthday cake. Usually really dry and falling apart.

People have used exactly the same words to describe me…

MrsWinslowsSoothingSyrup · 19/04/2025 19:25

Barbeques

ICEBEAR16 · 19/04/2025 19:27
noise GIF

1living in a rural area and not being able to use a mobile phone because of the lack of a signal

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