Being young. We really, really romanticise this, especially in mawkish American TV shows and movies (The Wonder Years, Stand By Me etc). For many people the teens and twenties are great. They really are full of laughter and friendship and travel and parties and endless summers. For many others, however, it’s a horrific time. I hated my teens and twenties. Like a lot of people I was lonely, frightened, bullied, and filled with shame and self-loathing. My social anxiety was crippling. I also suffered bouts of depression and often wished I’d never been born. Adults forget how horrible young people can be. Teenagers especially are f-ing vile to each other. I suspect a lot of people secretly hate those years. But you sound like a ‘loner’ and ‘loser’ if you say that.
I also hated pop culture. As a teen in the 1990s, I had to pretend to find an ignorant moron like Liam Gallagher profound and interesting. In reality, most pop/youth culture is worthless drivel. Now, at last, I can stop pretending to be interested in pop stars and celebrity gossip and reality TV.
Since my mid to late 30s I have grown happier and happier every year. There is no longer that horrendous pressure to be partying and having fun. I’m an introvert. Now I’m in my 40s people no longer care what I do. They no longer ask if I’m going out at the weekends. At last I can be myself. It’s bliss.