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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

1000 replies

HazelMaker · 18/04/2025 13:11

The 1990s

OP posts:
JorgyPorgy · 18/04/2025 22:45

scalt · 18/04/2025 13:29

Lockdown. And we must firmly resist and defy any attempt by the government to say “it wasn’t that bad” when they want to use it again.

What was the alternative when we were at risk of hospitals being swamped, unable to treat people, patients piling up dying in corridors? This happened in Italy I believe …

Kirbert2 · 18/04/2025 22:46

PalmTreeAngel · 18/04/2025 22:15

I’ve never experienced anyone romanticise cancer before….

Oh, I have. I already posted my own rant about it on this thread and included that obviously people don't want themselves to get it or their child but some of the comments to attempt to make you feel better almost feels like romanticising it sometimes.

Though my experience is not having cancer myself but my child having it.

JorgyPorgy · 18/04/2025 22:47

OhWhistle · 18/04/2025 13:34

Witchcraft

Why?

Ketzele · 18/04/2025 22:53

Having a 'colourful' family and childhood.

ladygindiva · 18/04/2025 22:58

Twins

Goditsmemargaret · 18/04/2025 23:00

Not me (I wouldn't have even considered it) but my very heavily pregnant friend and husband moved into their brand new house that had no furniture. She had really romantic images of the two of them sitting on cardboard boxes eating takeaway by candlelight.

They lasted about an hour before booking into a hotel. Her back was torturous apparently.

PodgePie · 18/04/2025 23:01

Camping.

I had visions of waking up & watching the sunset with a steaming cup of tea, peaceful sleep & perfect hair (this is partly in jest). Instead I was awake throughout the night, had to go to the loo in a bush & then crawled back onto an (extremely) expensive self-inflating mattress with grass on my feet. Not a fan.

Oh - I’ll add festivals to that too.

JorgyPorgy · 18/04/2025 23:03

BobbyBiscuits · 18/04/2025 13:48

I think as far as music was concerned, the noughties were horrendous. At least some decent music came out of the 90s, though more the earlier part.
The 00s was the worst era to be romanticising about I think overall. Especially the way that young female celebrities were treated.

Edited

Which female celebs?

XenoBitch · 18/04/2025 23:09

Having a puppy.

pictoosh · 18/04/2025 23:12

Camping has been mentioned a good few times.
I love camping and make sure it's romantic...and by that I mean comfortable, cosy and plenty of ambience. I put a lot of planning into it though.

A tip - go solo. Seriously, a tent to yourself and a schedule all of your own design is blissful. I'm plenty comfy, well fed and entertained with anything I choose to take and no one else to consider.

echt · 18/04/2025 23:14

DoAWheelie · 18/04/2025 20:22

Widowhood.

I've seen so many portrayals of it being "the bad bit before your real life starts, rather than the life destroying event it really is.

Possibly fictional portrayals, e.g. the latest Bridget Jones, but never ever real life, people romanticising it, which is how I interpret this thread.

Yes, it's unremittingly fucking awful.

themightysossidge · 18/04/2025 23:16

Living abroad. People think it's all beaches and heat but you live life as normal - grocery shopping , working etc.

Weeeeegoagain · 18/04/2025 23:19

Boarding school

TheSilentSister · 18/04/2025 23:22

I was born in the 60's. I've been through a lot of things but am grateful to say that I'm a glass half full girl. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Even if it doesn't turn out the way you expect, it's an experience.

crackofdoom · 18/04/2025 23:25

Living on a boat.

Having an allotment, specifically working on your allotment with kids in tow. They will NOT potter happily on their very own corner of the plot with their cute little watering can and wheelbarrow for the two hours it takes you to weed that massive bed and plant your beans, and any authors or influencers who suggest otherwise are grossly irresponsible and should be prosecuted.

MrsWinslowsSoothingSyrup · 18/04/2025 23:27

BatchCookBabe · 18/04/2025 21:18

Just saw this on Twitter, and it put me in mind of this thread... The 'tweet' read 'they were poorer than kids are today, but much happier!'

There is a lot of this 'we 'ad fuck all - but we were 'appy' bollox on the internet isn't there? 😆

Errrr, yeah, not ALL kids has a blissful childhood in the 1950s,1960s, and 1970s!

We definitely had better slides in the 70's though

XenoBitch · 18/04/2025 23:27

crackofdoom · 18/04/2025 23:25

Living on a boat.

Having an allotment, specifically working on your allotment with kids in tow. They will NOT potter happily on their very own corner of the plot with their cute little watering can and wheelbarrow for the two hours it takes you to weed that massive bed and plant your beans, and any authors or influencers who suggest otherwise are grossly irresponsible and should be prosecuted.

I have known a few people that lived on a boat. Past tense noted there.

My DM loves her allotments though (she has two plots). They are her escape from normal life. She has green fingers though, and is self sufficient from the crops she grows.

MrsWinslowsSoothingSyrup · 18/04/2025 23:30

Living on a Caribbean island

TheaBrandt1 · 18/04/2025 23:31

Travelling to far flung places with work. Mil who had only ever been a secretary used to think my travelling with work was a holiday rather than a fucking nightmare of tense negotiations and shouting mad clients.

crackofdoom · 18/04/2025 23:32

XenoBitch · 18/04/2025 23:27

I have known a few people that lived on a boat. Past tense noted there.

My DM loves her allotments though (she has two plots). They are her escape from normal life. She has green fingers though, and is self sufficient from the crops she grows.

The turnover on our allotments is huge, and it's usually parents with young kids. I only manage because I have EOW child free. I'm looking forward to being your mum's age and (presumably) having grown up DC!

XenoBitch · 18/04/2025 23:33

crackofdoom · 18/04/2025 23:32

The turnover on our allotments is huge, and it's usually parents with young kids. I only manage because I have EOW child free. I'm looking forward to being your mum's age and (presumably) having grown up DC!

Ha, yes my mum is in her 60s. She wont even let my dad go to her allotment. It is her space.

NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy · 18/04/2025 23:34

Young widowhood with small dc. Looking at you Bridget Jones 👀

CheshireCat1 · 18/04/2025 23:36

The 60’s

BobbyBiscuits · 18/04/2025 23:46

JorgyPorgy · 18/04/2025 23:03

Which female celebs?

People like Britney, Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, any pretty young soap actress, Lily Allen, basically most of them?!

PodgePie · 18/04/2025 23:49

Dappy777 · 18/04/2025 22:12

Country people.

I HATE seeing the British countryside destroyed by endless house building. I wish with all my heart there weren’t so many people. I yearn to live in a quieter, emptier world. The world’s population trebled between 1900 and 1960, and then it doubled between 1960 and 2000. We’ve gone from one billion people in 1900 to eight billion today.

But, though I long to live in a quieter Britain, with fewer houses, fewer people and fewer cars, I have zero nostalgia for country people. I don’t mean people who lived in the countryside, I mean the real, old rural people (‘peasants’, I guess - though I’m not sure if that’s now an offensive word). I grew up in Suffolk in the 1980s. True country people weren’t rosy-cheeked and warm-hearted. The vast majority were nosy, sly, gossipy, spiteful, secretive, suspicious, tight-lipped, and mean-spirited. Everything you did was watched, and any eccentricity or oddity was twisted and distorted and used against you. They would spread horrible rumours, and not one of them would stick his neck out for anyone else - no matter how innocent. I remember an old woman in a cottage near me who spread a rumour that the woman next door left her children on their own at night (total nonsense). That was typical. Rural people were very different to the urban working class. Working class solidarity would have been incomprehensible to them. Thankfully, the kind of people I’m describing have more or less died out.

I’m sorry this was your experience but it feels like a whopping generalisation. I count myself as a ‘country person’ although not a working class one & have grown up around such people. They’re not all such backstabbing, vicious dullards & the rural working class definitely hasn’t died out (although the current government is keen on killing them).

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