What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

[HazelMaker]

The 1990s

Does being able to pee REALLY HIGH up the walls count as a special skill? 🤔

My instant first thought

Just as my instant first thought after childbirth was anger that I’d been kept in the dark by every woman close to me.

The supposed British sense of "fair play" and "politeness" (I'm not sure how this ever became so romanticised - it's really not particularly special or true to our isles, and certainly not towards me or any ethnic minority I know and countless others ) and living in a "quintessentially English" village and county - sadly hell on earth (for said ethnic minority and countless others. )

Maternal instinct

I got PND instead

There’s a reason so many mammals reject their offspring…or even eat the runt ones…especially first time parent

Working in the arts.

Less discerning taste buds or do you possess an exceptional talent at picking good restaurants? If the latter, you should consider monetising that talent because your experience is not usual!

@neverbeenskiing I'm rejoicing today. After a prolonged period of living on popcorn and fruit pots (specific ones from Asda) my ND DS asked for and ate chicken nuggets. I know the fruit is good but it had got repetitive.

@topcat2014

Has it really been 5 years? You will probably always think about him, but I hope you've been able to move on to a good life, even if it wasn't the path you wanted.
My adoption story has had its challenges but my young man is at university and doing well.
I've been fostering for 18 months and had two placements break down. I feel devastated about both of them, both young people have very uncertain futures but the support just isn't there.

@Snoringsboring

I dont think it’s particularly unusual to enjoy eating out? I usually enjoy it (unless the food is particularly substandard or really overpriced). There’s something nice about having dinner out: it’s a nice ritual and nice to try new things.

Frankly I am a bit distrustful of anyone who never enjoys it: suggests a lack of imagination. I also loathe people who are constantly trying to get money off or moaning about the cost of dinner when they eat out. If you can’t afford it, don’t go.

Camping holidays. Self-catering holidays.
If there's no room service, it isn't a holiday.

The countryside- lovely for a weekend but after that, very boring.

Poverty and frugal living. Also boring and often painful.

I love camping! I can afford hotels and fully catered holidays, but I actually choose to go away in our campervan.

@LovingGoldJoker Absolutely. Even after the unbelievable agony of it and the debilitating misery of PND, my midwife insisted that birth wasn't painful (just 'uncomfortable') and that, as I'd got a fit and healthy baby, I had no reason to feel depressed. I'm still annoyed about her attitude over 40 years later.

Easiest answers ever.

Dog ownership.

Pregnancy.

This, also working in design. On tv It's all swanning about drawing lovely doodles of concepts on massive drawing boards.

It's taken 15 years of damaging stress and near-minimum wage to get to the point where I'm experienced enough to go out on my own freelancing.

Now it's having very polite arguments with clients trying to explain how I can't adjust their pdf drawing because its a raster file and no, the builders didn't follow the architects drawing (which was also wrong) and no I don't know how big your room is because the bloody tech who drew the plan didn't include a scale bar or title block and all I can hear is the voice of my tutors telling me off when I did the same.

A campervan isn't what I'd call camping though! I think of camping as being in a tent. (BTW I love camping, whether it's tent, campervan or caravan.)

Socialism.

Totally agree, worrying where every penny is going to come from , only being able to afford jumble sale clothes, going hungry and all you can think of is food, having one pair of shoes. Choosing to be frugal good for them but having no choice is bloody awful.

Yep, much better..especially my 1960s house that in last 4 years since I bought it has yielded the following “gems” of historic delight

electrics are lacking earths, have disintegrated flexes - complete with metal switches to give you a nice shock
plumbing based on narrow bore pipes that are worse than chocolate teapots
no insulation whatsoever in the dormer roofs - were talking literally a plaster board tent that vibrate in wind and cost £3000 a year fuel bills
cold platform roofs which you can hear the birds tap dancing on every morning concrete slab floors that are sinking due to fly ash

Asbestos in artex on ceilings
17 different profiles of skirt boards in a 4 bed house

or do you mean the Edwardian arts and crafts house I grew up in with
cracked leaded light windows that needed a crown estate to afford to fix
chimneys that caught fire
wood worm
mice, endlessly, because of gaps in walls and void spaces
horse hair wattle and daube walls that could hold no weight and kitchen wall units that would suddenly fall down
wooden window frame that needed constant painting to prevent rot
doors, windows and wales with no truely vertical or horizontal edges

yes, so much better than by new build mid 1990’s house…

old house need deep pockets. Then they’re lovely, granted.

If you can’t afford it, don’t go

I think this may be half the issue. It's 2025 not 1985 and eating out is mainstream. It's only fairly recently that the cost, quality and effort involved doesn't seem worth it ( possibly because eating in options have got so much better).

It’s why I had elective c-sections. I wasn’t buying any of that romanticising of natural births. My elective c-sections were a doddle.

This hasn't been the case with our old house. I do know some people who had to replace all their windows in a new build that was just out of warranty and another couple who had major issues with the walls, which for some technicality wasn't covered. I think you can get unlucky or lucky with either. We've had both and been happy, but we love our old home most as it's just more cosy and lonely feeling to us.

Working part time…. “It’s alright for you, you only work part time” YES BUT I GET PART TIME WAGES TOO!!

also I’m a single parent to a disabled DD who has a severe health condition and spends a LOT of time in hospital, having surgery etc do you want all that too?? Drives me nuts

Pregnancy. Especially when the 2nd trimester is touted as a little break.

It’s portrayed as a cute, wholesome little experience so often. Very happy to have the baby at the end of it but the process both times has left me haggard. I’ve had some very strange looks from people when I’ve said I don’t enjoy being pregnant, but I don’t see why.

Adoption. Especially when it’s trotted out in shit movie and tv series plots.

Some of us don’t want a big emotional reunion with our ‘birth mother’, some of us don’t feel like there’s a hole to fill or a piece missing and I’d really like it if that wasn’t the default for lazy ass screen writers.