What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

[HazelMaker]

The 1990s

They absolutely are

Cross-cultural marriages. Sometimes love isn't enough.
Multi-generational living and cultures that care for their elderly at home.
Being a freelance journalist.

Working 40 hours a week

Not just women. Crab bucket applied to the men as well.

When was that romanticised.

I swear some of the things on here were never romanticised 😂

I alluded to this in a previous post but completely agree. I've read on here people going on about how we're parenting in the most difficult era ever and I'm thinking really??

My great grandmother was a mother of 13, lived in a 3 bed tenement flat. No NHS , no washing machine, no fridges, no ovens, no central heating. Money was scarce, infant mortality higher and people were just generally sicker and poorer. And "family support" was the older kids being responsible for the younger ones at the expense of their education or future.

It wasn't all that better for my grandparents either. Still no outside toilet! I'm grateful to live in the time I do now!

Hormonal contraception. Spent years having that shit mess with my emotions and never once did a dr consider it may be the cause of my poor mental health.

Marriage. Unpaid cleaner nanny and white while being expected to work full time and be grateful “women can have it all these days” like I was somehow taking something from men?!

being the eldest daughter. Unpaid cleaner nanny and then cater in later life. Cater expected as parents ‘cared’ for me when younger conveniently forgetting I was the unpaid skivy in my childhood.

SAHM. Financial abuse waiting to happen. No sick days etc

living in a nice area. My experience was because I don’t talk like the queen or from the Home Counties it’s not very welcoming.

I disagree with those saying having kids though. Much of it is utterly shit and not a fairy tale at all but seeing my babies turn into compassionate caring intelligent individuals is better than any high I’ve had from anything else and lasts longer too 😂

Yes these. Basically a Hallmark movie but in reality it’s more like a bad episode of Eastenders.

It’s supposed to be about stuff that is sold to us as aspirational or a dream or living your best life but turns out it’s not like that.

I also wonder if the era thing depends on how old you were

Its easy to remember times surrounding childhood as good, because you're not the one generally fretting about bills etc

I really enjoyed my uni days but if I was my age now I'd be more worried about my financial situation, less wanting to sleep on floors and horrified at the mold

Us too, it was awful.

This one.
and Christmas.

Self employment.

Childhood.

This made me lol!!!!

I have one and it's a hard work holiday but holidays with small kids are all hard work so...

Neurodiversity.

Schooldays being the best days of your life.

I was repeatedly told this as a seriously depressed teenager. I'm now almost 40 and no other period of my life has been nearly as bad as secondary school. Mostly because I've had much more agency in being able to deal with shitty situations when they arose.

Having worked with teenagers with Mental Health issues, I can assure you some of them absolutely do!

Twins!

Tradition - always romanticised - people have selective memories.

Running your own business - you think you are your own boss - but your customer is always right and needs to be kept sweet, and your employees have no loyalty any more, two years and they are off to the next company demanding at least a 20% pay rise which you gave them a year ago to get them to make the move - we aren't even surprised anymore. I'm close to done with the whole thing.

@Surferosa

I alluded to this in a previous post but completely agree. I've read on here people going on about how we're parenting in the most difficult era ever and I'm thinking really??

Completely agree. I'm really naused out by the people on here harking back to a halcyon past where mums didn't work, kids all "played out" (WTF that wasn't a thing for everyone by any stretch) and the myth that it was good for one salary to carry an entire family.

Sounds great on paper doesn't it? Only it wasn't. My dad earned enough to "keep" all of us and we had what was on paper the kind of childhood people are always banging on about, we lived in the country etc. He was almost never at home: he worked about 12 hours a day and was in the pub or on the train home when he wasn't working. My mum never really regained her work mojo after leaving work to have kids: she was a SAHM after having had a glamorous and well paid career pre kids and hated it. All of her friendships fell away, partly because my dad was a tedious self-indulgent bore and partly due to proximity and she was lonely, bored and frustrated.

When people start going on about how much easier it was in those days I suggest they time travel for a few months back to an era where it was extremely difficult for women to maintain their careers after marriage etc. It sucked and I don't want it back thanks very much.

Living in Australia
Mental illness

Hear hear. In my case our placement broke down after five weeks and I still think about the young person every day five years later.

Large families...parents both working, no time.

Festivals and camping.

Yes, people have asked me if my Autistic children have any "special abilities" because their friends cousins next door neighbours Auntie knows an Autistic child who has been solving quadratic equations from the age of 2 or they've seen too many shit TV shows about brilliantly gifted Austistic Detectives.

Does not sleeping for more than a couple of hours at a time for four years or surviving almost entirely on Hula Hoops and Ritz crackers count as a special ability?