What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

[HazelMaker]

The 1990s

Hear, hear! if you were a wrong 'un you carried on being a wrong 'un and just saw what opportunities the war offered for you to profit from your wrong doing. I think this applies in most crisis situations and the pandemic was another example. Look at all the people who just saw it as a get rich quick opportunity

Family holidays

Being poor. There's nothing fun or character building about sitting in a freezing cold, dark flat in the depths of winter with very little to eat. It's just crap and people should acknowledge that.

Working class communities in the past. They were often intolerant, nasty and often violent. If a woman put her head above the parapet seeking a degree education, many family and communities condemned her as ‘getting above’ herself, sneering “are we not good enough for you (very like the film Educating Rita).

Being able to drive pretty much anywhere, at any speed and park anywhere you like - the golden age of the automobile

Bank holidays, always shit.

Travelling. It sounds so great on paper but the reality is often the opposite. In fact I enjoy the planning, research, googling the maps etc. far more than actually travelling to a place and being/getting there!

Giving up work, selling house and travelling (that word again!) around Europe/the world in a camper van. I mean who wants to live in a sardine can where you'll hit your head every time you move, the toilet is in the kitchen or in a bush, the water is scarce and you cook beside your duvet, on the bed that was the table. But it is SUCH a lovely idea.

Same thing, except instead of a camper van, move to a run down charming little house in a tiny village in Italy/France/Greece. No plumbing, no electrics, do it up in the unrelenting heat, can't get tradesmen, the floor collapses, the money runs out.....

So I'm a home bird but I romanticise about having a maid/housekeeper though.

Sister relationships.
My sister and I barely tolerate each other for more than a couple of hours in each other's company. We squabbled and fought constantly until I moved out for university.

My brother on the other hand is my best friend and I would walk to the ends of the earth for him.

And all that “I’ve dreamed of my wedding since I was 4-years-old”! WTF now?

Tell us more..

Thank you. It’s an odd feeling just to work there. No phones or smart watches allowed in the building so you feel a bit disconnected from the outside world. It takes 15 minutes just to get in and out because of all the security, scanners, finger prints etc. and every door you go through must be unlocked and re-locked as you go.

Prisoner privileges are few and far between and must be earned. Food is awful. The majority of cells are shared, and obviously no say at all in who you share with. Bullying is rife to provide the bullies with certain medication etc.

Its a million miles from any holiday camp I’ve ever seen!

I remember a friend saying that to me when I was almost demented from lack of sleep with a very wakeful baby and oh lordy it was one of the truest things I have ever heard

Me too! I really enjoy being (an impossibly stylish) old crone! I still love clothes, but now I don’t give a shit what others think, so I can wear really ‘out there stuff if I choose 🙂

Moving to the countryside. Yes it's beautiful and I can see trees and greenery all around but it's so dull and you have to drive everywhere.

Scotland

Just spent a full on afternoon with countless young family members.

I take this back.

I wish my grandad was still here to have a word with all the "it was better in the old days" types. Despite having a happy childhood in the 1920s he loved progress and modern living. Was always up for trying new things. He'd have loved the internet. He said there was nothing to romanticise about no NHS, cold outside loos and as for the war years, it was hard and frightening and as far away from jolly sing songs in the air raid shelter as it could be. People did shitty things to try to beat the system and get one over on others, a far cry from the everyone pulling together myth. My grandma said in a way she would go back, goodnight sweetheart style, because it was her youth and she had her friends, parents etc still here but she too said that the past was not all that.

Yes - an apparently we are super wealthy, have amazing careers and a string of lovers in every port.

Errrr not quite….!

Ditto except I never spend Christmas alone. Surely being single doesn’t equate to lonely Christmases?

I don’t mind the empty house (I don’t like people in my living space) but I HATE how expensive being single is.

Driving oversized cars.

Going to pubs and clubs.

Chips with everything
Having no internet / mobile
Queuing for Next sales from 4 am
Ikea meatballs

I loved the 90s.
I got married. Had my 2 children. My DH was healthy and well whereas now he's ill, disabled and in chronic pain.
My own health was better.
My Dad and Grandparents were still alive.

Being a carer to your own child as a single parent with zero ZERO support I apparently should be knitting in an immaculate home swanning about getting my nails done

I'm exhausted beyond tired my house is trashed I'm tired of pee I raised my voice at my disabled child today because he was misbehaving in public nearly sent a stranger flying I was heavily judged for not carrying out a threat to remove sweets IMMEDIATELY (because I know he doesn't process things on the first try) people spend a lot of time staring at me and challenging his autism diagnosis because "he is friendly" (he isn't a dog ffs)

I'm tired from my brain to my boots

This is going back a long way. but my great-grandmother, who was not an only child, was by all accounts absolutely champion at playing her six children against each other. This resulted in all sorts of family tensions, and, at the extreme, my grandmother and one of my great-aunts didn't speak to each other for decades.