What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

[HazelMaker]

The 1990s

I think our brains sometimes smooth over harder parts

My DMil talks fondly of times when they struggled with money, of thrift and creativity. My DP remembers her crying each payday

Dmil recently found a dairy of her childhood and commented that she didn't remember being so full of worry as the child that had written it

The 90s were epic. So is being a mum! What's wrong with you people???

Yeah, no way would I do that. Sounds like a romantic dream, but in reality, it's shite. I have spoken to a number of people who have done it, and it's tough! Some do regret it. You're lucky of you can get 3 showers a month in. You have to wait til you dock near somewhere where there's a sports centre/swimming pool!

You mean your 50s are your SIXTH decade!

Your 60th decade would make you 500 to 600 years old. Though, sometimes as a 50-something woman I feel it! 😬

I'm also curious... Was it not cold if you had no heating & did it not rub off on everything leading to constant washing/dampness ??

I do indeed mean that. Typo.

It doesn’t get better, just different. 😭

@cardibach I think you'll find that your 50s are your 6th decade - not your 60th decade!

Moving to Australia. Now admitedly I didn’t live there but some year’s ago I went out there for a few weeks with the view to moving there. Some bits were nice but I knew it wasn’t for me. Landing back in the UK (despite the cold and grey) was quite euphoric. It just didn't vibe with me the way I thought it would because everyone seemed to love Australia (on the telly).

Home educating that largely is romanticised into kids 'following their passions' to learn everything, being able to be friends with anyone, and no bullying.

Oh, and the ones that promote it on social media as part of their business and go on about how kids teach themselves, I wish would be stopped.

I'm glad to have home educated my kids for primary with their needs and our very poor local options, but the romantic imagery around it that erases the work to do it well does little of benefit to anyone not trying to make money off of it or try to excuse neglect.

Having a child with autism (severe). No not just quirky and there are definitely no superpowers. It isn't going to help him in life and it isn't an identity. It's a very serious disability.

Also working as a librarian.

Starting Over / Being A Strong, Independent Women.

Cue music: "Hey heyyy! I will survive, oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive etc."

New partner after a challenging relationship.

"Oh, you've got your happy ever after!"

Nope, that was a rebound, which ended.

"But you've been so inspirational, re-inventing yourself! You've got the happiness you deserve!"

2 deaths, one misper, losing tranches of friends because they belong to a hobby I shared with Mr Nasty (and with Mr No-Longer-Alive), or because they have taken sides that don't exist...

Don't get me wrong, I'm OK, more than OK most of the time but bloody hell total reinvention takes some work! You do it because you have to, not because you want to.

When I was constantly told I should be grateful my son had a 'good cancer'. Obviously no one wishes that their child has cancer but people absolutely try and romanticise it in an attempt to make you feel better.

The good cancer comment is the one I hated the most. Especially as the 'good cancer' disabled my child and despite apparently having 'good cancer', he was lucky not to die from complications.

The other comment that I felt romanticised it was the comments about him getting a wish from a wish charity. Like hey, he might have cancer but at least he'll get a treat at the end of it.

Now he gets DLA, some people also seem to be resentful and think I'm made of money despite the fact that cancer caused my son to be disabled. So DLA too, it's almost like some people forget that you have to have a disabled child first to get it and it's just extra money to sit on your bum all day.

I don't know if any of that technically fits the definition but it's the first things I thought of that I've recently experienced.

I take your point, but I think those things came out because people had always romanticised them to me. It was what my parents always wanted for me and they were always talking about how brilliant it'd be. I realise they might not be romanticised as much in wider society, though.

Camping, it's fucking shit and I did it for years ...but then I found what 5* hotels do for you and have never looked back 😂

It was wretched, I used to get chillblains as a child. We had a gas fire in the front and back room, a rayburn in the kitchen and the house was freezing and miserable. It was good training for the way I now have to ration my central heating though!

I love eating out and am rarely disappointed.

Marriage
Sex
Motherhood

The edited highlights are good, but the day-to-day stuff far less so

Yeah, I think quite a few posters don’t understand what is meant by “romanticised”.
I took the question to mean things that are “generally” romanticised by society as a whole. Like fairytale weddings and “happy ever after” and meeting The One and Christmas with snow, a groaning table and happy families gathered around it and “gawd bless us every one” type stuff.
Not just something very specific that someone thought sounded quite nice that then turned out not to be.

I have never worked in a prison but I have had a job which meant I used to visit our local jail and it was bloody grim. I hated going there and was so glad to be able to leave at the end of the day. Respect to you for being able to do it full time

At restaurants or....

Home renovations 😵‍💫

Having a surname which is also the name of a bodily function!

Horses - owning, caring for, riding, competing, basically anything related to horses

This 😂