What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

[HazelMaker]

The 1990s

'The needs of the herd'? Women as bovines? Nice.

I've been married since the dawn of time and have never felt trapped. I've just been luckier than some, I would say, but I've known plenty of other happily married people, notably my own parents. My mother misses my father desperately since he died. They were together for over 60 years and each propped the other up, with no resentment or claustrophobia. It's not that uncommon.

Working in editorial for a glossy fashion magazine. You'd think it's glamorous. It was actually quite horrid and stressful.

Motherhood/parenting I love my children but I'm finding it so ridiculously stressful and anxiety inducing I can't wait for them to grow up.

I'm certain these are being funded by Reform/Russia. The racist comments are something else. People that fall for that stuff are so stupid.

SAHM - I hated it.

WFH - I'm lucky I can for a range of reasons, but it's not all it's cracked up to be and due to being flexible for childcare, I now actually work longer house than I would if I did 9-5.

Marriage - not for me. Never, ever again.

Living in Spain - some bits were nice, but on balance, UK is better.

The early 1970s. I belong to a couple of Facebook groups that are to do with growing up in the 60s and 70s, and omg the romantacising that goes on on them. Everything was wonderful,beautiful,food was so much better,TV was fantastic. No,it was actually pretty grim. Food was bland ,dull and boring. Women had far fewer rights. Only 3 TV channels to choose from, and it TV finished at midnight. And no remote control 😂 Casual everyday sexism was rife and accepted as 'one of those things'. And the strikes,there seemed to be a strike of some sort every week. No way would I want to live through that time again.

Being in a relationship of amid any age. It really isn’t the be all and end all of life

I have to say that I don't think this is because your mother was an only child. Mine wasn't, and did/does exactly what yours does.

Fwiw, I think there is a lot of unjust blame for unpleasant personality traits laid at the door of a person's status as an only child. A person with siblings might be selfish, but if an only child is selfish, that is apparently the root of it. A child behaves like a spoilt diva, but if they're an only child, then that must be the reason.

Romantic love
The nuclear family
Siblings
Rural living

100% this. ^ (Not so) thinly veiled spite and vitriol.

Yep.

I do miss our warm, cosy new build. We hardly ever needed the heating on.
It was also much easier to furnish because of all the flat, square wall space. I liked the simplicity of the rooms, as it was like a blank canvas.

Our current home (Victorian terrace) is lovely but draughty, very cold in winter, even now, it’s still chilly downstairs. It’s also had damp problems in the past that cost £££ to rectify and we are limited to where we can put furniture due to the shape of the rooms and fireplaces etc.

I would think twice about buying an older house again in the future.

I know many new builds are terrible but mine isn't. I've been here 7 years, had no problems other than a door that needed adjusting and some lights not working. Both were fixed within a week. My house is warm, quiet (despite being a semi) and cheap and easy to run. It's a shame all new builds are tarred with the same brush.

It was a happy time for me for the most part, but yes, there were a lot of extraordinary things back then that nobody would put up with now. I was browsing in a record shop once and felt something slightly hot on the back of my neck. Turned out the man behind me had let ash from the tip of his cigarette drop onto my cardigan. He did apologise, but that could have been nasty! Sitting in the cinema on the non-smoking side and a haze of smoke coming over from the smoking side. Endless strikes and shortages. As for TV, just mention Mind Your Language. Possibly the worst and most offensive sitcom ever made. Love Thy Neighbour was little better.

The music was good, though.

Sport. As in top level going to the olympics sport.

it’s brutal, it’s very much about whether your face fits, and it’s not even about results.

the ones who make it aren’t always the best or the most talented, they’re the ones who have been given all the advantages.

we always like to think of the underdog succeeding despite everything, but it isn’t. It’s the ones with the money and the support.

I’m 60. I like it. I don’t like my knees being crap, but apart from that it’s great.
I hate to break it to you though, @chiffontalks , but your 50s are your 60th decade…you live one whole decade before you are 10, another before you are 20. Your 20s is the third whole decade, and so on…

This is why I left Facebook, it's absolutely heaving with people saying how much better everything was in the past. That sort of nostalgia can be so depressing. Many of these people are my age (50s) or a bit older. I wonder if they have a memory problem or are just totally lacking in self awareness?

I have a few.

Camping with kids under 5. Just no.

Dubai. Never. It’s a shopping mall in the desert.

Going on a self-catering “holiday” with kids under 5. Nah

Garden “bars,” and pizza ovens. A lot of maintenance and expense for something you use perhaps 3 or 4 times a year. Big let down

Picnics… you know the ones with the throw, wicker basket in the sunshine with a slight breeze sat under a tree with barely a cloud in a sky!

Or any occasion of quasi-compulsory mass rejoicing. New Year, St Valentine's, St Patrick's, Easter, Boat Race Day, Wimbledon fortnight, August bank holiday, Hallowe'en, the Cup final, the Eurovision Song Contest.

Having young adult DC 'gone' (at university a long way away). Lots more time on my hands but when they need you, it is so damned hard to help. They might leave your house but not your heart.

Giving up work and living in a barge. Awful.

Moving to a rural location. It’s bollocks.

I will fight you about the 1990s though. 1995-2000 were the most wonderful times.

Just to show how subjective this is I have tried 5 times and had 2 until they died, still have the other 3. Can't imagine life without them really. I do understand it isn't for everyone though.

Motherhood and having siblings. It absolutely works for some but not all

@SpookyMcTaggart and @TorroFerney I agree. I had to leave a FB group because the nostalgia was sickening - the town was apparently so much better in the 'good old days' when the High Street was clogged with traffic billowing out fumes, everybody was friendly and you could be as racist and sexist as you liked and nobody would take offence.