What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

[HazelMaker]

The 1990s

In what sense?

Let's have a look at my comment.

My sisters and brother drive me insane
My experience, which is valid to me personally and only I can verify as true or "rubbish"
but I'd much rather have them than be an only child.
Again, my experience.
I feel very sorry for only children.
Because I think it sounds very garden and very lonely.
I also think it's shows as adults.
m own thoughts, based on my own experiences.
I am 100% sure this isn't true for everyone
because it logically cant be.
but the adults I know that were only children all have the same less than desirable personality traits.
Again, my own experience which I assure you is true based on the adults I know, which presumably you don't know.

So which bit can be rubbish? I can only assume you mean the bit where I said that it can't be true for everyone, because everything else I said its based on my experience only.

Bit mean of you, but OK.

Yes. I was good at school, was still bloody miserable.

But this is exactly how my partner's been self employed for over 30 years.

Annoyingly I can't find it but i completely agree with whoever said that people have always been offended but the things they are offended by change

My nan (who is a "can't say anything these days")
Is equally offended by
-women whistling
-people wearing red nail varnish

Equally when she was in the good old days it would have been alright to laugh at a racist joke, but equally her sister was disowned for dating someone who wasn't quite white.

Yes i worked in acute mental health wards for many years they are defintilty not places to be taken lightly ,they are ofen loud ,tense ,full of extremely unwell patients
Not sure how these compare to private mental health facillities though

I responded something similar too as I can’t imagine this is the majority view. I am still friends with my Uni friends almost 30 years later and it was a great time in our lives.

Romanticised how?
DD went to a Welsh medium primary as a non Welsh speaker and was fluent fast. She then did Welsh medium to the end of KS3 and mixed thereafter. Her experience was generally great, though that was largely because her primary was truly excellent - but I suspect that’s the same for any great school experience whether Welsh medium or not.

Responsible adulthood in general. At 18 I thought I was going to change the world for the good of all. 40 years on I'm frightened for future generations.

Pregnancy

Those posts on facebook where its a black and white picture of maybe the 1940's, with the caption of "we didnt have mobile phones or have much at all but we were happy", and its a picture of kids playing in the yard and i just think if only we can ask they mothers because i bet their life wasnt happy and as fun as the poster (usually male) thinks. In the photos posted the mums are always hanging washing out and looking so sad and worn out.

Depression and eating disorders

My parents were both only children. They had 3 children. My mother had no idea what it was like to have others to compete with and to this day ( we are now 59, 58 and 57) she plays us off against each other. I am the eldest of 3, a girl and 2 boys. I would describe it as.....
My next brother down is the favourite
My second born brother was the last baby and therefore has always had 'special' status.
I am the first and a girl. I am just useful.

Being able to do what you wanted in your Teens

Actually, I rescind my comment about changing the thread title, I just noticed in trending it's truncated with ellipsis and I clearly didn't bother to read the actual thread title.

So just ignore everything I've said, that's what you get for not paying attention!

Sounds horrible! But I am sure if we had a second child we would not have done that as it is clearly not great parenting.

@SpringSunshineanddaffodils you're entitled to an opinion. Your opinions are based on your experiences. Fair enough.

Just a shame your experiences have been a bit shit, and you've not met, in my experience, lots of lovely well rounded people who happen to be only children.
Swings and roundabouts.

Growing up on a council estate.

having a disabled child (lots of people saying “I wouldn’t change them for the world) etc

thats absolute bollocks! I would take my child’s disability away from him in a heartbeat.

Being a full time musician.

That back in the day there used to be this incredible "village" of support where neighbours would look after your kids at the drop of a hat, where you didn't need to lock your front door and where everyone would rally round to help you in hard times. It really, really didn't exist, only in old Ealing films. Things were about the same as they are now. People might help (a bit) or they might not and they were just as likely to slag you off if you asked them too often. Unlike now, grandparents were people you visited for Sunday tea (and behaved yourself) not full time childminders. Hardly anyone expected to get an inheritance either. The word "inheritance" belonged to the top level of society, not ordinary people.

Being a pilot. Have two in the extended family and it’s not remotely glamorous. They don’t spend much time striding through airports looking immaculate and handsome with a gaggle of “air hostesses” following behind like handmaidens. Or spending weeks lounging by pools in exotic locations between flights. You fly somewhere and come back. Long haul, you fly somewhere, sleep in a soulless hotel room and then come back.

Definitely agree with university. “Best days of your life”…utter BS!

Also being responsible for a property with a large garden; strimming for hours each week?? No thanks

Hilariously my father was the Principal Ed Psych for the county in which we lived. As a child psychologist you'd think he'd have had a clue about raising multiple children in a positive way.

Owning your own (none-new-build) home on a lovely street. Costs a fortune in maintenance, mortgage interest and council tax.

I think on the one hand romanticising can be based on generalising from your own experience - so someone who had a great time at university might say, 'Oh, being a student is the best time of your life', when what they mean is they personally had the best time of their life . And there's romanticising something because you've never actually experienced it.

Speak for yourself, I'm enjoying my forties and my freedom now my children are grown!

Also enjoy grandchildren that I don't have any responsibility for.