What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

[HazelMaker]

The 1990s

This. Bloody 12x step skin care programme. If you smoke your skin is completely fucked. It's 8 years older than it would be if you didn't and God help you when the menopause arrives and your skin does the menopausal sagging on top of the fag sagging. Oh and nothing gets rid of the 'cats bum' mouth caused by years of sucking.

Who, in their right mind, would romanticise THAT???

My DD is an only. And my cousin. Neither of them have any undesirable personality traits (except in cousin’s case being unable to say no to helping people). What an unpleasant view to express @SpringSunshineanddaffodils

no but people who didn't live through it DO romanticise it!

I think sometimes the nostalgia for times with no money, is part of trying to reduce the heart ache

My mil always talks fondly about counting out their money on the table for weekly budgeting etc and how life was much simpler etc

My DW has lots of memories of DMIL crying doing it.

There's a particular family story of how they had a right laugh about misbudgeting a summer holiday and how they all laughed and had the best holiday ever. That's definitely not DWs memory of it.

Interestingly DMIL recently found a diary she kept about a certain stage of her life and said that she was surprised at how stressed and sad she was in it

I do think our brains try to buff out the memories into something kinder

Ditto! The words 'Happy birthday' to me are like a spider to a spider phobic.

My mother's version was
Money doesn't buy you happiness but it buys you a bloody comfortable misery.

I think the "good life" folk do romanticise having chickens.

Agreed! Being disabled ruins every single day of my life.

What a load of rubbish.

I loved the 90’s
My life began at 40
My children are the best thing that ever happened to this world they are treasures.
I loved raising them

I dont think being in a psych ward is generally romanticised, is it?
Trivialised maybe, if you’ve met people who really don’t understand how ill you have to be to get on one, but surely nobody actually aspires to it because it sounds so lovely?

I wouldn’t say it’s most people that found Uni lonely or scary. Sorry if that how you felt at Uni though and that phrase being wheeled out must be bloody annoying.

yup. Even if it was genuine and lasting love at first sight as my marriage was, it takes work to keep it.

I think that’s a better word for it.

Oh god this. I've just been looking at a a picture on FB of some old pictures of the high street of the town where I work and some idiot has posted how it was all better then, streets were cleaner, everyone pulled together and no one took offence. What never took offence at anything ever? Was that because if you did take offence at someone groping/sexually assaulting you you'd be told to shut up and stop being such a fun sponge? I nearly posted something so better I am on this thread to distract me!

I think it's an important part of the conversation.
Everyone should get a seat at the table regardless of if your experience is a comfortable one

I don't begrudge famous people/rich people talking about their experience but it's not the only experience. In the same way if he had cerebal palsy there's a range of people with a range of effects, it's not fair to try and dictate the conversation around only one presentation of it

The talking about people with ds like they aren't people reallllly really grates on me. Once you hear it you can't unhear how common it is.

People wouldn't talk about other 25 year old men in the same way they do my nephew. He's not angel, or eternally happy, or the most recent one said to me " just so full of joy all the time". He's a 25 year bloke with the same feelings etc we all have.

Being married and having children.

I loved being an only child. I am married to an only child and we have an only child. Must be a house of horror with so much spoiled personslities clashing in one space. 😂

Family trip to Disney world.

I'm grateful for the experience but never, ever again...

Hmm yes, otherwise known as parentification/emotional incest.

My husband was a widower when I met him. He said that women wanted to save him and to look after him and feed him because he clearly shouldn't be alone. He described it as having a certain cudos in social situations. My friend admitted that the main attraction of her last boyfriend ( a widower)was that he looked so sad and lost that it triggered some weird urge in her to save him. Sadly for her he couldn't just switch off his grief and she got bored with his late wife still being a factor in his life, heart and head.

Taking yourself off to live in France/Spain to drink in cafes and buy baguettes.

Welsh medium schools