To think I’ve made a mistake telling a friend I’ve come into money?

[TheJoyousFox]

I recently came into money - not life-changing but a decent amount. I mentioned it to a friend in passing and ever since, I feel her attitude toward me has shifted. She’s started making comments about how “lucky” I am, hinting at how tough things are for her financially and even joking about me covering things when we go out.

I didn’t expect this to be a big deal but now I’m wondering if I should have kept it to myself. AIBU to think I made a mistake bringing it up? Have you ever been in a similar situation?

This is a very sensible response.

As someone else said, it may even be worth fibbing about a large, unexpected expense next time a comment is made and hopefully that puts the topic to bed once and for all.

Stop seeing her. She is not a friend if she does that shit.

Say you've paid your mortgage off with it and now you're skint.

Ahh this is a shame. Hindsight is a wonderful thing so of course it shows now you shouldn’t have mentioned it but how could you have known at the time.
I would do what someone else said and say you’ve just had to pay a huge tax bill or something and if she keeps mentioning it, maybe you should distance yourself from her. We should be able to share stuff with our friends

Yes this happened to me . Within 3 weeks of recieving £10,000 she was asking for a loan. I gave her a bit but invested the rest so I couldn’t be tempted again.

OP if she asks for money tell her in invested and you can’t get it out.

🙄

I agree with the post about telling her that taxes wiped out all of it and then reduce your contact to nothing with this "friend."

Keep your business to yourself in future.
5k is a nice amount to say it was.
If she dismisses the amount thinking you are lying about the amount, tell her that it is a nice amount for you as you don't have many savings.
Play it right down.
Don't say another word to her.
She sounds like a grifter, be very wary.

I told two friends and my sister when I won 10k premium bonds. The two friends do very well for themselves, and my sister is just genuinely the sort of person who'd give it away anyway.

I had also just quit my job to go freelance before somewhat unexpectedly finding myself pregnant, so they all saw 10k as a sort of "lucky safety net" to cover mat leave.

This is why I don’t play the lottery. If I win the jackpot I’d never be able to spend any of the money as the second I did people would figure out I’d won.

To be honest ( and this is not your fault or your responsibility ) but it depends how it lands with the friend . I was in exactly in this position recently . I am not very well off and a close friend told me her parents had gifted her a life changing amount of money. I was and am happy for her for her financial security. But I also embarrassed to admit that I was acutely envious and had to go have a VERY strong word with myself to pull myself together before I could return to feeling not envious. It's an ugly emotion BUT in my defence , i am struggling to make ends meet most months and she genuinely was fairly well off before and now we are even more at a difference. So don't judge the friend too much - it may be that she is struggling and just needs to have a word with herself .

Every couple of months, someone posts about a similar situation. What good do you think comes from disclosing financial details to people other than your accountant?

Next time she mentions it, tell her you’ve invested it or put it in a pension and you can’t access ut for x number of years so you’re no financially better off at the moment. If she doesn’t drop it after that you’ll need to reevaluate the relationship

Eh? It’s just a thing you might talk about with a friend. Like getting a new job or planning a nice holiday.

It is on the friend who reacted in this way, not on OP for telling her.

@blueleavesgreensky if you had rtft you would have seen her apology two pages ago for her heinous crime!

Why would there be a 'next time'? Why discuss finances with anyone?

You tell people something vague, but even then you wish you'd kept your mouth shut.

Telling a pal that you have come into a great holiday amount of 5k, is vastly different to the news I have been giften the deposit/ cost of a house.

Private finances are best kept to yourself.
Invariably this knowledge comes with age.
Thats why young people coming into large amounts are often a disaster.

My friends nephew blew a 100k inheritance during his 20's in about 6 years, through living larger than he earned.

He's now engaged in his 30's and has admitted huge regret as he sees his sister invested nearly every penny in her first home and has now bought a lovely detached home completely beyond his reach.

He partied and holidayed while she was the boring one.

She simply was able to look ahead and wanted a home of her own and not blow years renting.

I tell my own children to keep their financial good fortune to themselves and my friend whose children received money recently used their cousins regret as a teaching moment.

Being gifted a huge deposit on a house in your 20's is a really stroke of good luck, not to be sneezed at.

I'm very sensitive about money as my parents had a bit of money growing up and I still remember my friend telling me her mum told her to befriend me because I had a driver. Now I only befriend people in the same or higher economic level. Not because I'm a snob, but I can't deal with feeling used again or the uncomfortable feeling of being asked to lend money with no intention of paying back. I am not rich and I live in a small house though we have a healthy bank balance. I let people draw their own conclusion regarding my financial situation. People are just weird with money so protect yourself.

i, and most of my friends, are of an age to have received one or more sums from inheritance. + a few significant redundancy /compensation payouts - never a mention of beneficiary paying for X/ lending Y - just assumed it will pay off the mortgage/go towards the pension pot or other investment.
At least OP is now aware that "friend" is a gold digging CF and best dumped/avoided,

Omg what a waste. Reminds me of a friend who was killed in an accident in 1990. The 2 adult children got £35k each. The daughter bought a house. The son blew his over about 2 years then went to his sister for handouts.