To think I’ve made a mistake telling a friend I’ve come into money?

[TheJoyousFox]

I recently came into money - not life-changing but a decent amount. I mentioned it to a friend in passing and ever since, I feel her attitude toward me has shifted. She’s started making comments about how “lucky” I am, hinting at how tough things are for her financially and even joking about me covering things when we go out.

I didn’t expect this to be a big deal but now I’m wondering if I should have kept it to myself. AIBU to think I made a mistake bringing it up? Have you ever been in a similar situation?

Please don’t quote the opening post. It’s a MN no no as it’s very irritating

@OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret the exact same thing happened to me! I don't have much to do with her now.

Tell her you’ve put it into a pension. That means it will be locked away for the foreseeable.

I had a pretty sizeable inheritance when my dad died, four close friends were aware as they knew dad had died.

I've never been asked how much it was or had hints for loans or paying out for things because I have a lot more money now.

They're just not like that.

I've made this mistake before. Never again!

Hmm, I'd want to nip this in the bud: "Sorry, I don't lend or borrow money. I hope you sort something out."

Oh god I can relate to this. Made the fatal mistake of talking to my friend about my financial settlement from my divorce when she accompanied me to court. Thought she was on my side. Turned round after I'd won and told me I'd changed and I was all about the money.

Never discuss finances. It brings out the envy in other people.

This is a minor thing but I am getting pissed off with a friend who is started to expect lifts all the time, never offers petrol money and somehow feels entitled bevause they didn’t learn to drive. I am realising I need to be better at setting boundaries. It’s costing me time and money and they should have learned to drive. Some CFkers

This person is currently in a huff because buses are Sunday services and im just chilling at home and they need to be somewhere. wtf

Did you realise at that point that that was the reason she accompanied you to court, to find out the financial situation?

You've not made a mistake. You should be able to talk to friends about good fortune without them thinking they are entitled to some of it. It is worse if you've got the money because someone has died.

@Lesleyann25 She's not a friend, she's just using you, I'm afraid. It's really tough discovering that about someone you think of as a friend, but please don't put yourself out for her any more.

OP, you’ve learned a hard lesson by the look of it. Some people are very jealous and/or entitled. If there are any more comments, I’d invent some reason why it needs to be used. In fact I’d be very vague - ‘well, it would have been great if we’d been able to blow it on treats but we’ve got a problem in the wider family and will be helping out.’ And if she asks what, just say it’s confidential. It could be medical treatment, ivf, elderly care, just leave her guessing.

Or if you don’t want to do that, be blunt. ‘We’ve put it in our pension plans, so it’s not available.’

She's not a true friend.
How horrible and grabby of her

I was in a similar Situation due to redundancy payments and, inheritance upon my father’s death. A friend at the time suddenly began making suggestions she was hard up for cash. We would go out and, she would conveniently forget her bank card. She once asked me to lend her £500 then, had the temerity to only offer half of it back. Not just that but, she would constantly float around ideas about wanting to set up a small business and hint she needed financial support. It became apparent that she saw me as a cash goat and, there was an element of jealously. I’ve leaned my lesson now and, never discuss my financial situation with others.

Yeah it’s recently started to dawn me and yesterday I just suddenly felt really angry about it. The final
straw was i had just been paid and she asked to borrow money I just thought F off. She is literally a kept woman in most ways but never has any money. I am a single parent and go out and earn my money. Yeah she is getting the chop.

Because it piques curiosity.

That's ridiculous! Possibly if you were going both to the same place, you could offer her a lift but she actually expects you to be a free taxi service and spend your day driving her about!

I wouldn't call that a minor thing. I would definitely say something to her about her sense of entitlement.

It’s become very apparent she never used to be as bad it’s creeped up. She was emotionally supportive when I went through something last year so maybe I felt I should help out but now it’s just a
piss take.

She will be after a loan soon. Car repair, dentist, whatever. Just say no.

@MounjaroOnMyMind , she was my McKenzie friend as I represented myself. I was very appreciative of the support. In hindsight she thought the ridiculously low offer my ex husband made at FDR was a 'decent' amount. I would have lost my house if I'd accepted it. Makes me think she was secretly hoping I'd 'fail'. It's ruined the friendship for me as she has made other nasty comments. The green eyed monster is alive and kicking!

Well said!
Those who think you should be open about how much money you have are those who want to get their mitts on it!

There will be people you can confide in and ones you can't. You made the wrong call. Oh well! We live and learn. Now you have to have some stock phrases for when she asks to borrow from you. Put your armour on and tell her you're not going to be lending to anyone.

And don't tell the nosey fuckers on here how much, either! It's none of our business.

Unlikely that it happens to me, but if I ever come into money I’ll be keeping it well under wraps - maybe share with DD and DP and that’s about it.

Yep, go with 5k doesn’t go far these days. It’s just jealousy. And don’t tell anyone else.