To think I can't be the only person who doesn't know a single trans person

[VioletSpeedwell]

Seriously.

The news is full of people worrying about how the SC ruling will affect people who identify as trans.

Where are they? Not in my office (large organisation), my family or social groups. I don't come across any in the village where I live or when I go into town.

DD is at university and doesn't know any trans people.

Surely, I can't be the only one?

@Helleofabore their suggestions that we are walking by hundreds of perfectly passing trans people every day, and only notice the odd ones who don't pass, is laughable

Yep. This feels like one of the patriarchy's biggest ever grifts.

And in terms of how this plays out in the context of single-sex spaces, the conversation is never about how men can make their spaces more welcoming for trans-identified men. It's always about how women can budge up and do all the accommodating, and make themselves even more vulnerable in doing so. No.

Ok, that's a shame, but is the answer then to let actual men go unchallenged in female spaces? If not, what is?

Being pregnant is absolutely based on being female 🤯

According to Statistica, approximately 350 transgender people are killed a year - GLOBALLY. 500 people (gender not specified) are killed by hippos each year; nearly 100x that number are killed by dogs or snakes.

I really am sick of the hyperbole around this, especially when most of those transgender deaths are at the hands of a romantic partner or their pimp - for reference the UN reports that over 50,000 women are filled by a partner each year. So the 3x more trans women are killed than cis women is a total fucking fallacy.

https://www.unwomen.org/sites/default/files/2024-11/femicides-in-2023-global-estimates-of-intimate-partner-family-member-femicides-en.pdf

It very much is.

I even notice the male person in the 'beige' cardigan in my local supermarket from the back when I walk past them. It has everything to do with the skeletal proportions and the stance and when they walk, the gait. I did not see the person's face until they selected their product off the shelf and turned.

I notice the male person walking past who is typically dressed in a short skirt and a normal top with long hair. Because their skeletal proportions were male and as they walked it was very much a male gait.

But apparently, female people 'can't tell' most of the time and if we miss one, that means the absolutist tactic means that we can 'never' tell.

Totally agree

I've met one transman who would pass to look at as they were very large and hairy but when talking to them, you could tell.

Most transmen look feminine to me even if they have a beard.

I've not met a transwoman where I couldn't tell immediately.

I was thrown recently though by a female sportswoman who is very feminine-presenting but her frame and face-shape/jaw-line made me sure she was a transwoman and she isn't.

This is such an excellent point and isn't being talked about enough.

Why isn't the conversation more focused on how male only spaces can be made more accommodating? Why is it only women's spaces being demanded? Why is it women's exclusive experiences being claimed?

I have never, ever seen a woman claim on any level that they can experience prostate issues, or testicular cancer, or other men specific health issues, for example. I have seen men claim they can experience menopause and menstruation though.

There is no aggressive attack on the concept of man or aggressive invasion of male only space by women, only of those of women. By men.

People need to be honest why this is.

Women do not deserve to be devalued and reinvented to appease anyone.

Transpeople deserve to be afforded respect and protection, that does not give them the right to destroy our rights in the process. I am sure there is a good deal of complex health, social & emotional needs exclusive to the transcommunity that would be better served by acknowledging the community to be a distinct and separate group from men and women. Not a lesser group. A different group.

That is not derogatory-it would actually be a huge advantage to develop those rights and trans specific care. Including research and funding-all without harming women's rights and women specific care.

I’ve heard from several butch lesbians that they’re challenged like this - they’re not bothered, a) because if you choose to style yourself as butch its not surprising you might confuse someone and b) better that female spaces are socially policed than not.

Your granny was right and brave to challenge someone she thought was male for being in a female space.

Why does it bother you so much. You know what you are. Isn't that what matters?

No, it is not, not even remotely.

Handmaiden is a sisterhood term that women use to describe women who let down the sisterhood, it is not remotely misogynist, wtf?

Your reply is way OTT.

Do you support that we should have female single sex spaces ? Do you support that to keep those spaces single sex, female people need to be able to clarify if someone entering the space they are in is female or male?

If a woman chooses to present themselves as 'butch' (and that takes a bit of effort, it's not just merely not wearing make up), then they should be aware how they will come across. It should be no surprise to them. I have a friend from primary school, she is a lesbian, very butch presenting complete with spiky crew cut. She expects it. She knows how she looks.

I went into a public toilet last year and in front of me ( with their backs to me)were 2 very tall, very large people. They were wearing dark clours, mens boots and had grey hair in buzz cuts. I stopped dead because I thought I was in the mens by mistake. I was horrified that I had invaded a space meant for men. They weren't men they were incredibly butch lesbians. I stopped and said " Oh god sorry". The first woman turned round and said " Don't worry we're females". They both had big breasts so from the side or front I'd never have thought they were men . They dress in that way so they must know that , from behind in a stationary queue, they may be misgendered. As there were 2 of them and 1 of me I dare say they would have let me know if they were offended.

Christ alive, you can’t really be this dense.

Being female is a prerequisite to being pregnant. Ergo only female people have maternity rights.

I’m not sure who is being obtuse here - what maternity rights does any women’s need unless she’s actually pregnant??
Can you explain, please?

I know 2 women, they’ve both had various operations and now identify as men, or are they men, I’m not sure?

Of course they’re not men.

So? Do you support that we should have female single sex spaces ? Do you support that to keep those spaces single sex, female people need to be able to clarify if someone entering the space they are in is female or male?