To think I can't be the only person who doesn't know a single trans person

[VioletSpeedwell]

Seriously.

The news is full of people worrying about how the SC ruling will affect people who identify as trans.

Where are they? Not in my office (large organisation), my family or social groups. I don't come across any in the village where I live or when I go into town.

DD is at university and doesn't know any trans people.

Surely, I can't be the only one?

And in the others?

my friend Jenny, a straight cis woman has been misgendered all her life, people have said they thought she was a man until she was told her name and then assumed that she was a ‘badly passing’ transwoman. She’s been spit at, attacked, verbally abused and had security called on her. She was terrified to use the toilet in public as a result.

she was assigned female at birth and has never identified as anything else - she is distraught by the ruling but hey! It’s all about the trans community - right?!!

My daughter. who is now no contact because I’m an awful transphobe who took her to buy boys clothes but had the temerity to say, ‘don’t take testosterone it’s harmful’.
Just wondering, Do ladies that want to be men use the men’s loos? I don’t think I’d want to!

Transwomen are murdered at the same rate as men in this country - in line with their sex class. gee.

transmen however are murdered at a higher rate than their sex class

I'm not quite sure what your point is.

Why don't you think women deserve the right to same sex spaces when it comes to things like changing rooms, domestic violence centres and prisons? Genuine question.

Of course there are many other issues in the world, that doesn't mean we can look at multiple issues at one or women can't stand up for their own rights and concerns.

If transwomen (men) are unsafe due to the actions of men, in men's siaves, why would that be women's problem to solve? Why would the answer be to put men in women's spaces?

And when you DO know someone personally, you usually think differently. The more we interact with people, rather than exclude them, the more inclusive we will be and the more cohesive as a society.

I know some very nice men but I still wouldn't want them in the female changing room. Other women will not know that the men I know are very nice so they would probably feel quite uncomfortable sharing a changing room with them too. Acknowledging that those concerns are perfectly valid does not mean all men are predators and I don't feel I have a responsibility to throw caution to the wind and put myself at risk for the sake of social cohesion.

I have two good friends who are transwomen and I honestly wouldn't have known if they hadn't told me - they are just women to me, getting on with life. On the other hand I have a neighbour who is VERY vocal about being a woman and discrimination/trans rights (despite the beard...) and largely encapsulates every negative stereotype you could imagine (total sexual predator/invading women's spaces deliberately to get a reaction/shouting down anyone who disagrees etc). So I suppose you may know some but just not be aware. It's annoying that people like my neighbour make things difficult for others like my friends who are just trying to live life and not harming anyone.

Now as a result of the SC ruling, all the men in your building would be able to claim sex discrimination if they were prevented from using the bathroom designated as female. That means those bathrooms would no longer be considered single sex. For some women, that’s a massive issue due to cultural, religious, or trauma reasons. Women’s rights to single sex spaces are not yours to give away.

@Mydietstartstomorrow
Yes. It is exhausting to constantly have to look over one's shoulder. Over 97pct of sexual offenders are male, 90pct of their victims female. The data is staggering, the implications, ineluctable.

It's why there are bouncers at clubs where drunk men paw at women and get into brawls. Why a lone woman walking at night crosses the street to put more distance between herself and a man. Sexual harassment begins before puberty (schoolgirl uniforms are literally sold as fetish gear) and never really stops. Most CSA victims are also girls.

A grope. A feel. A man pressing himself into you in a crowded bus. Some middle-aged rando accosting you and droning on while you grin and bear it only for him to interpret your tolerance as interest, oblivious to your discomfort, the way men so often are. The same reason we have to be 'careful' when turning down a man -- for fear of setting him off and endangering ourselves. Avoid confrontations with men. It's ingrained in us.

It's why women are not even safe at home, with more than half of femicide victims being murdered by male family members or intimate partners (men killing their pregnant partners is the leading cause of death among gravid women). Domestic violence is a gendered crime because of the relative physical vulnerability of women. The danger of male predation is clear and ever-present. I'm surprised you're sneering at it.

That male propensity for violence and women's relative size and strength disadvantage is why female safeguarding exists.

Bad men don't wear a headband announcing their intentions. They go to great lengths to insinuate themselves into situations which give them power over and proximity to their prey. If you are a woman and have been lucky enough not to have had such experiences, good for you. But women's instinctual aversion to or apprehension of men is not something to be scoffed at. It is hardwired into us and for good reason.

Have you ever paused to think WHY women have to remain alert like that?

We don't LIKE being hypervigilant. It's not neuroticism. It is a rational response to a very real threat. Yes, it absolutely is "exhausting."

People tend to like to find their tribes so may move to more populous areas to find similar prople or find people who are more likely to accept them. You live in a village so there arent many prople to compare to each other.
I also don't think you would generally know if you saw a trans person. They don't tend to gl around like Lilly Savage, generally the aim is to be accepted as the opposite sex not draw attention.

Again, these older TW are acting out a sexual fantasy and expecting us all to play along.
I can’t believe how many women pander to these guys, without realising they are being used as a prop for validation.

No one of any sex of gender identity should face abuse. I am nore sure of the point of sone of the posts unless it’s a backhanded way of saying “oh you are all so nasty “

If the rights of a rape survivor like me to have a safe single sex is 'transphobic', then that says more about you and your hatred of womens rights and your character than it does about me/us. You're actually spewing out all the femphobic and misogynistic Mens Rights/incel tropes yourself.

Did you just pull that figure out of your arse?

A woman is murdered every 3 days in the UK .

So, you're saying that every single day a trans woman is killed???

You're delusional, it's not true.

www.gov.uk/government/news/government-pledges-to-protect-more-women-from-violence#:~:text=The%20statistics%20show%20that%20a,each%20deserves%20to%20be%20recognised.

Don’t be so bloody silly. So being a feminist and supporting women’s rights is transphobic?

That’s just the kind of attitude I expect from TRAs. You don’t like it when women speak up, do you?

If they looked male I'd probably leave quickly like I would if any man was in there, because I'd be afraid. If I was feeling brave, then I'd challenge them. If they told me they were transmen I'd be fine.

I'd also be OK with transmen using the men's facilities, competing in men's sports, and joining men only clubs etc etc . That's men's business and they can sort it out if they want to. But as we all know, there's one sex that generally does most of the violence, bullying and victimisation of the other. And it's not the female sex. It's just not as big of an issue because biological men are basically not at risk from biological women.

In the case of transwomen and men there is no difference. They are men. If they were women they wouldn't need the 'trans' bit. But they arent women and that is finally being said loud and clear.

Many of these though (AGP).are precisely the ones creeping into women's toilets and filming themselves doing nasty stuff. And they're included under the 'trans umbrella'

I know one person who identifies as they/them and one person who is trans. Neither of them are in my group of friends really, one is my sister's friend much younger than me, and one someone I went to school with and still see occasionally at weddings and stuff.
I respect new names and pronouns and would always be kind to people, but deep down I don't believe anyone can change biological sex.

Lots of cross dressing men who claim to be trans. No genuine trans people.

Coinkydink

Where are your stats from? They don't match UK or global figures.

Funny, all the ones I’ve seen stride around town dressed like hookers, making challenging eye contact with anyone who casts a glance their way.

I haven’t seen many scurrying around Aldi in a beige fleece.

I can't believe this actually needs to be said, but apparently it does.

The law is made for the benefit of society as a whole, not just your friends.

A transvestite is a person of one particular sex who wears the clothes generally worn by someone of the opposite sex. Most people who label themselves as transgender wear the clothes that are most commonly worn by the opposite sex.

this from the eating five, above
If transwomen (men) are unsafe due to the actions of men, in men's siaves, why would that be women's problem to solve? Why would the answer be to put men in women's spaces?

this. If men are so horrible to other men because they wear a dress that they will automatically duff them up, why do we get to have to be nice and accepting to them? Why aren’t the horrible men that are in every man’s loo being re-educated ?

I’d say you’ve been very lucky to be completely oblivious and untouched. It decimated my family

@CautiousLurker01 I'm sorry to hear that it's had a terrible impact on your family but you are wrong to say I'm oblivious. Thanks to FWR topic, I'm well informed. However, I suspect the majority of people don't know any trans people but from a lot of the MSM I've been watching since the SC ruling, you'd think there were millions of people in the UK who were trans.