To regret moving DP in to my house

[JadeySmiles]

Hi all, the previous topic isn’t accepting new posts so I thought I’d update here.

We have had the conversation about split of
chores, DP said he can chip in ‘as and when needed’ but he didn’t have a suggested split as I hoped which was frustrating.

He says he feels a bit awkward with getting stuck in given he doesn’t own the house and thinks he will be more comfortable once he is on the Mortgage and asked me when that will be. I said I want to wait and see how things go over the next few months as we get used to living with each other.

He was a bit funny with this and suggested I’m backtracking on an agreement. But we didn’t ever set a timeline. He says his Mum has
told him the funds she/his Dad are gifting are currently in a low paying interest account and if he doesn’t take them soon they’ll fix them for a year so he needs to hurry up if he wants them.

I said this doesn’t change my feelings and we need to see how things go. He seems to be sulking now and has been on his games console in the spare bedroom since dinner, which he criticised and said he’s getting fed up with the same vegan meals. I told him he’s welcome to cook for us tomorrow!!

Have you pictures of the mess?
Send them to his parents.
Tell them you want him out of your home NOW.

You owe this scum nothing.
Can family come to help?

They have a sofa don't they?
Pack his bags and tell him to get lost

I agree, you need to move quickly here.

Friends/family need to bear the burden here. No more chances, he's shown you, in technicolor lighting, what he is. No more now.

Hotel, friends, sleeping on mum and dad's sofa. It isn't your problem.

What he does or where he goes is NOTHING to do with you.

This is YOUR home.
He leaves NOW.
Or he deals with the police.

Text him now that you want him out of your home right now.

He can gather a bag and collect his stuff.

Do nog fall for tears nor begging.

You are in an abusive relationship with someone who hasn't one ounce of respect for you.

Nope, he's taken the piss constantly, had all his last chances, he can fuck off to a Travelodge/Premier Inn, mates house, AirBnB, he has plenty of options.

The bottom line is he doesn't want to move out, doesn't think he should have to and thinks if he hangs on long enough you will change your mind and relent and give him yet another chance.

Tell him to fuck off within the hour or you'll call the police/some big mates and get him removed.

I'm so glad to hear that you've put your foot down, @JadeySmiles. I don't think anyone here will say 'I told you so'. It's so hard to see clearly when your emotions are involved and you are doing the right thing. Stay firm and remember he's an adult and not your responsibility. Good luck!

He says he has no where to go and I will need to wait for him to find somewhere

And what was your response to this, @JadeySmiles?

Exactly as others have said - this, and he, are no longer your problem. He is no longer welcome in your home and will have to find somewhere else. You don't "have to" wait for him to do anything. Fucking cheek of the man.

As others have said, someone who will not leave your home willingly can be escorted or by the police.

Wishing you peace, and a lot of work on understanding and properly intensifying the fact that you do not exist to do the bidding of men (housing them, cleaning up after them or appeasing them). Xx

Do not give him the chance to stay until he finds somewhere else. The relationship is over (I assume?) and he has no rights to be there. He'll have to have the money from his parents and stay in a hotel and then rent somewhere. Not your proboem

You need to enlist some help as it’s seems you have no backbone dealing with this man.
His parents downsized? So what. Do they live in a tiny one bedroom flat with three people on blow up beds in the lounge as well? No. Well they can take him in.
Or better still he can have his funds off them now. He can go and stay in a hotel or with one of his mates.
FFS @JadeySmiles this is getting ridiculous. He’s got a job, he pays half the bills, he can use that money to get a room.
It is YOUR home. Get some physical help. New locks. Bag his stuff and get him out. He had no rights to your home. The way he treated it yesterday is a disgrace and his friends are dickheads as well.
You need to find some backbone because this man is now abusing you and your home.

Well, that didn't take long.

As everyone else has said, he's not your problem and you can get rid of him now if you want to. He has friends, he has parents.

You need to call the police. It might take a couple of hours for them to get there so call them now. Get the ball rolling.
They will remove him for you
and if he kicks off all of his accommodation needs will be met by HMPS

@JadeySmiles If you start to feel guilty about kicking him out when he says he has nowhere to go, remember that it is HIM who is kicking himself out. You've given him warnings and second chances already. He has no-one to blame but himself.

They downsized to a one bedroom? Well I'm sure they have a sofa.

It's your house and he has no legal right to occupancy. He needs to pack his bags and leave. Where he goes is not your problem to solve.

He can visit King Charles for a bit. Let’s hope his cellmate Big Marv is okay with doing the cleaning.

He doesn't have a legal interest in your house.

Call the police and advised that he's refusing to leave at the end of your relationship. Scary, isn't he?

Please don't let him make this your problem - because it's not! He can stay with friends or at a hotel or on a park bench. IT'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

I don’t want the police to turn up and make a scene, I own my house and it will embarrassing in front of the neighbours.

He has told me he is asking around and seeing if he can go to any of his friends.

He has left the kitchen in an absolute state, I have had to scrub alcohol stains and someone has tried to throw a takeaway container with bright red sauce in the bin and it’s gone all up the wall behind it.

He says the hotels are all extortionate or full up because it’s Easter

Where he goes is not your problem. He has family and friends and he's saved a couple months rent so it's not like he's broke.

If you want him out, tell him he's got two hours to pack his shit and leave. If he's not out, the police will assist him to leave and his shit will be placed outside the door.

Is he bothered that the relationship has ended because of his actions OP?

Make a bloody scene. Stop being so passive. He has got a hangover and you are cleaning the walls? His mates seem to come running to go the pub or trash your house. And now he’s making calls?
What advice did you seriously expect to get on here?

You’ve got to be bloody kidding. This has to be a wind up.

He can get somewhere pretty quick. He has savings he can get a room share short term worst case scenario. I'd be minded to get him out asap before he talks you round. He can sleep on parents sofa - will motivate him to find somewhere sharpish. Call the police if he won't leave. Do you have anyone that can help?