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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sending love to trans people on MN and beyond

825 replies

cassandre · 17/04/2025 20:58

This isn't an AIBU. I just wanted to send love to trans people, in the UK especially, and to other members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

This hasn't been the easiest week for trans people, but there are a lot of us out there who accept you for who you are. We have your backs and we believe that eventually, tolerance and compassion will win.💖💖💖

Love from a longtime MNer and trans-inclusive feminist.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Nameychangington · 18/04/2025 20:38

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 20:14

One can be absolutely furious about every rape that occurs and still fearful that this judgment is opening the way to legalised hate.

Please explain hown Act which states that discrimination in the provision of goods and services against people with the PC of gender reassignment is illegal, is 'opening the way to legalised hate'.

Once again, have you actually read the judgement, or just trans Reddit?

HAB75 · 18/04/2025 20:38

Nameychangington · 18/04/2025 20:34

How have you been using the Act for years when you clearly don't understand it?

The law has not changed. No protections have been lost. There are no tiers and no downgrades.

Embarrassing.

Another person being wilfully blind. That isn't embarassing - that's something far worse.

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 20:39

JandamiHash · 18/04/2025 20:33

@poetryandwine ive just watched the Channel 4 piece you’re so outraged by.

Maya Forstater didn’t call Samantha Kane a man. Samantha went on a deluded tirade stating “I’m not a transwoman I’m a woman!” Which was clearly a lie and the newsreader asked Maya to respond. Maya said that Samantha can refer to himself however he likes.

Maya would have been rather a hypocrite is she used Samantha’s preferred pronouns really - because Samantha IS a man. Let’s not forget Maya has been through hell and back with her employer sacking her over stating facts and exercising free speech. She doesn’t owe deluded man anything.

Maya went out of her way to use a male pronoun.

JandamiHash · 18/04/2025 20:40

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 20:10

’Proof’ is not the relevant word. It starts to make a good case that trans brains are different

Trans brains may be different - or may not be. but given little else demonstrates this in the way of academic research I’m inclined to think not. It hardly upholds your statement of “Being truly transgender is a measurable biological phenomenon

JandamiHash · 18/04/2025 20:41

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 20:14

One can be absolutely furious about every rape that occurs and still fearful that this judgment is opening the way to legalised hate.

People use strong words like hate when women start speaking up. We say how it’s a way to shit us down.

It’s not hate to want single sex spaces. Never will be.

JandamiHash · 18/04/2025 20:44

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 20:18

I think some careful study is required. IMO there should be different conclusions for different spaces.

And those of us who have seen friends suffer until their bodies could match their hearts and minds (to some extent) and are now desperately worried for them might argue that the question is subtle

What does bodies matching hearts” actually mean? I Jay does a Woman Heart look like?

Wluldnt is just be easier all round to tell people they can’t be the opposite sex but to empower them to know that ‘man’ and ‘woman’ is merely biology and socially it can mean anything. Get rid of this pink and blue gender nonsense that pigeon holes people into thinking if they don’t have certain tastes there must be something wrong with them? Rather than telling lies and giving them impossible aspirations.

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 20:44

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 20:37

Actually the abstract is of Bakker’s conference presentation. Nothing wrong with that. However it appears related to, possibly amongst others, the following papers of which she is an author:

Alterations in the inferior fronto-occipital fasciculus - a specific neural correlate of gender incongruence?
Psychological Medicine, March 2022

Brain functional connectivity patterns in children and adolescents with gender dysphoria: Sex atypical or not?
Psychoneuroendocrinology 86 Sept 2017

Regional volumes and spatial volumetric distribution of grey matter in the gender dysphoric brain
Psychoneuroendocrinolgy 55C Jan 2015

The top paper is open access. If you search on the title you should be able to access it. I estimate that at the time of the 2018 conference it was planned work.

Psychoneuroendocrinolgy does not appear to be an open access journal. I have institutional access which I do not propose to violate. However I see that Dr (Julie) Bakker is open to requests for copies of her papers. She is at the University of Liege. If you are really interested in her work you could email her to request copies of the papers.

So, all you did was read the abstract.

Thank you for confirming that.

So, you used an abstract to support your absolutely worded statement but now you say it is all grey. You tried to make a conclusion sound stronger than it was.

I will look at the other study that is open access. But considering you now are telling us that you cannot even provide any answers to the questions that I asked that might confound the studies, and of course, we cannot even read the limitations that normally would be published, you could declare anything you like and because we don't have academic access, we are supposed to just trust you. After making a declaration that you don't seem to be able to support?.

Great. So, you over reached on this, and you are over reaching on shaming Maya Forstater.

Nameychangington · 18/04/2025 20:45

HAB75 · 18/04/2025 20:38

Another person being wilfully blind. That isn't embarassing - that's something far worse.

You haven't read the judgement, have you?

Arraminta · 18/04/2025 20:47

If RMW and their ilk truly, trulyknow themselves to be 100% women in every fibre of their being, in every cell, every last drop of DNA etc. Then why do they need to access single sex spaces to validate themselves?

If I never accessed another womens' only space ever again, I would still know myself to be 100% a woman. Forever.

JandamiHash · 18/04/2025 20:48

HAB75 · 18/04/2025 20:37

It is you who is being wilfully blind. My friend is now not supposed to share our loos or changing areas. If she is strip searched by the police, it will be by a man "if a trans officer isn't available" - some hope! The NHS will probably have to put her on a male ward. If she goes to prison, it will be to a male prison. If you think that's dramatic, I think you are either pretending to yourself that the harm has not been done, which I hope is the case, or you have a problem with trans people. Furthermore, unless you have rattled the Equality Act under people's noses, as I have many times, you cannot imagine the effect of having some people more protected than others. On a final note, no one is defined by the arrangement of their chromosomes. Diminishing women to that level is not what the true feminists were seeking to achieve. This isn't drama - its just the unwinding of 15 years of fabulously useful legislation that helped us to see people as individuals. It is retrograde.

Why should a woman officer have to strip search a man just because she’s he’s deluded enough to think he’s a woman? Why should a woman share her cell with a dangerous man? Why should women in a hospital ward share their ward with a man? Why does HIS delusion trump truth, reality and women’s safety privacy and dignity?

What makes your friend a woman? I bet £100 it’s everything to do with sexist stereotypes

On a final note, no one is defined by the arrangement of their chromosomes

Hahahha. Except they are. They’re also discriminated against because of these chromosomes. Nobody asks a baby girl what her gender is before performing FGM.

This isn't drama - its just the unwinding of 15 years of fabulously useful legislation

Legislation hasn’t changed. Your mate was just using it incorrectly

JandamiHash · 18/04/2025 20:50

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 20:39

Maya went out of her way to use a male pronoun.

So what. Samantha IS a man. Maya was correct. Why would she use females pronouns towards a man?

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 20:52

There is no subtlety to it though. A person who undergoes extreme body modifications to suit their philosophical belief about themselves does not change their sex. Single sex provisions are based on sex and not on how a person looks and feels.

Call for all the nuance you want, it doesn't change the fact that single sex provisions were always for only that sex.

BundleBoogie · 18/04/2025 20:58

HAB75 · 18/04/2025 20:09

I'm deeply unhappy about the judgement. I think those celebrating it are incredibly misguided. We now have a 2-tier Equality Act and I wonder what else will now be downgraded. Given that Thursday was about barely disguised bigotry, mental ill health is my top prediction. I have been successfully using that legislation for many years to stop both men and women from treating people unfairly, but it isn't going to be any bloody use now that some protected characteristics are more protected than others. Look at all that Feminism has achieved, and then halve it. I watched those women celebrating their Pyrrhic victory and thought "Feminism has died - no flowers". And then I actually wept for my trans friend who finally completed their journey in their fifties, only to have ignominy piled upon them from here on.

Eh? The Equality Act hasn’t changed. The meaning of words hasn’t changed - the judgement has just removed the confusion created by Stonewall and other activists lying about the content of the EA.

Can you explain why you think we have a ‘two tier Equality Act’? Do you think women deserve protections in the basis of our sex which we cannot change?

BundleBoogie · 18/04/2025 21:00

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 20:39

Maya went out of her way to use a male pronoun.

Oh wow! Maya answered a simple question with truthful words. She didn’t ’go out of her way’ to do anything - she used the most direct path which is the truth. Shame you don’t like it.

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 21:02

'On a final note, no one is defined by the arrangement of their chromosomes. Diminishing women to that level is not what the true feminists were seeking to achieve.'

It seems that you have some confusion here.

Chromosomes absolutely are involved in categorising the sex of human beings. This is uncontroversial. They are not the only aspect of the human body that is considered in categorising a human into one sex or the other, but they cannot be ignored.

And no feminists are 'diminishing' women to any level by recognising the sex of the people they focus their political activism on. As far as I recall, feminists campaigned for the needs of female people by way of equitable outcomes to create equal opportunity. They did not insist that female people did not have unique needs due to them be female.

This is a weird bit of misinformation that I have seen repeated on MN that feminists somehow dismissed or ignored the needs of female people due to their sex. As if feminists didn't acknowledge that there are differences between the sexes.

No. Feminists would have been very unwise to ignore the sex based differences between male and female people. What they sought was equal access to opportunities through equity and equal treatment where it was suitable.

BundleBoogie · 18/04/2025 21:10

HAB75 · 18/04/2025 20:37

It is you who is being wilfully blind. My friend is now not supposed to share our loos or changing areas. If she is strip searched by the police, it will be by a man "if a trans officer isn't available" - some hope! The NHS will probably have to put her on a male ward. If she goes to prison, it will be to a male prison. If you think that's dramatic, I think you are either pretending to yourself that the harm has not been done, which I hope is the case, or you have a problem with trans people. Furthermore, unless you have rattled the Equality Act under people's noses, as I have many times, you cannot imagine the effect of having some people more protected than others. On a final note, no one is defined by the arrangement of their chromosomes. Diminishing women to that level is not what the true feminists were seeking to achieve. This isn't drama - its just the unwinding of 15 years of fabulously useful legislation that helped us to see people as individuals. It is retrograde.

It sounds like your friend is male so that is all entirely correct and appropriate. It’s not women’s problem to sort it if he doesn’t like it.

Nameychangington · 18/04/2025 21:15

Right for the people who are too lazy to read the actual judging, here are some pertinent bits. Bolding is mine:

  1. Consequently, *transgender people (irrespective of whether they have a GRC) are
    protected by the indirect discrimination provisions of the EA 2010 without the need for a certificated sex reading of the EA 2010, *both in respect of any particular disadvantage
    suffered by them as a group sharing the characteristic of gender reassignment and, where members of the sex with which they identify are put at a particular disadvantage, insofar as they are also put at that disadvantage. Again, this does not entail any practical disadvantage or involve any discordance between the claim and the individual’s position in society. On the contrary, the claim will be founded on the facts of a particular shared disadvantage. Transgender people are also protected from indirect discrimination where they are put at a particular disadvantage which they share with members of their biological sex

  2. For all these reasons, this examination of the language of the EA 2010, its context
    and purpose, demonstrate that the words “sex”, “woman” and “man” in sections 11 and
    212(1) mean (and were always intended to mean) biological sex, biological woman and
    biological man. These and the other provisions to which we have referred cannot properly
    be interpreted as also extending to include certificated sex without rendering them
    incoherent and unworkable. In other words, in relation to sex discrimination (for the
    purposes of sections 11 and 212(1)), a person with the protected characteristic of sex has
    the characteristic of their biological sex only: a trans man with a GRC (a biological female
    but legally male for those purposes to which section 9(1) of the GRA 2004 applies) is a
    woman for the purposes of section 11 and a trans woman with a GRC (biologically male
    but legally female for those purposes to which section 9(1) applies), is a man and not
    entitled to be treated as a woman under the EA 2010. This conclusion does not remove or
    diminish the important protections available under the EA 2010 for trans people with a
    GRC as we have explained. To the contrary, this potentially vulnerable group remains protected in the ways we have described. In these circumstances, and notwithstanding
    that there is no express provision in the EA 2010 addressing the effect which section 9(1)
    of the GRA 2004 has on the definition of “sex”, we are satisfied that the EA 2010 does
    make provision within the meaning of section 9(3) that disapplies the rule in section 9(1)

The 1999 Regulations, enacted in response to P v S, created a new protected
characteristic of a person intending to undergo, or undergoing or having undergone
gender reassignment. The 1999 Regulations did not amend the meaning of “man”
or “woman” in the SDA 1975 (paras 54-62).
(iv) The GRA 2004 did not amend the meaning of “man” and “woman” in the
SDA 1975 (para 80).

Gender reassignment and sex are separate bases for discrimination and inequality. The interpretation favoured by the EHRC and the Scottish Ministers would create two sub-groups within those who share the protected characteristic of gender reassignment, giving trans persons who possess a GRC greater rights than those who do not. Those seeking to perform their obligations under the Act
would have no obvious means of distinguishing between the two sub-groups to
whom different duties were owed, particularly since they could not ask persons
whether they had obtained a GRC (paras 198-203).

The interpretation of the EA 2010 (ie the biological sex reading), which we
conclude is the only correct one, does not cause disadvantage to trans people, with
or without a GRC. In the light of case law interpreting the relevant provisions, they
would be able to invoke the provisions on direct discrimination and harassment,
and indirect discrimination. A certificated sex reading is not required to give them
those protections (paras 248-263).
(xviii) We therefore conclude that the provisions of the EA 2010 which we have
discussed are provisions to which section 9(3) of the GRA 2004 applies. The
meaning of the terms “sex”, “man” and “woman” in the EA 2010 is biological and
not certificated sex. Any other interpretation would render the EA 2010 incoherent
and impracticable to operate (para 264).

Anyone want to tell me how any of this is stripping transpeople's rights, making a two tier EA, denying transpeople's existence or any of the other hyperbole being spouted by people who are so busy being righteous that they didn't actually read the judgement?

MereNoelle · 18/04/2025 21:27

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 20:39

Maya went out of her way to use a male pronoun.

When referring to a man.

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 21:34

MereNoelle · 18/04/2025 21:27

When referring to a man.

When referring to a man in a discussion about the sex based needs of female people (ie. women and girls).

It is rather remarkable when you consider this. If clear and accurate language cannot be used in a discussion about the sex based needs of female people, when is it ever going to be?

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 21:48

JandamiHash · 18/04/2025 20:40

Trans brains may be different - or may not be. but given little else demonstrates this in the way of academic research I’m inclined to think not. It hardly upholds your statement of “Being truly transgender is a measurable biological phenomenon

Yes. I admit I was writing informally. But I did not claim proof, or anything absolute. There are few absolutes in the life sciences.

And the research I’ve cited does show that there are some pretty good measurements for trans identity in the brain.

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 21:50

The social pressure to use preferred pronouns is very much on the wane.

The incoherency of pronoun usage etiquette has reached the point of being too cumbersome for people to remain engaged I think. Maybe first was the male sports people such as Thomas and Hubbard. Then came Bryson and all of a sudden we were told that rapists don't deserve pronouns and this played out in different court cases where finally women did not have to refer to their rapists as being women and she/her.

Then came Wadhwa, I guess. We were suddenly allowed to not have to use pronouns there either. Although, not really officially like Bryson.

Somewhere in there was Eddie Izzard who enlightened the world as to how he changes pronouns depending on the role he is taking. That he may be in boy-mode or girl-mode. I think that really caught people's attention after Bryson and Wadhwa.

Then Dr Cass was clear that social transition was not a neutral act.

Then came Upton. A real test case. And so many people around the UK listened to interviews, some of us even got to watch the trial, and pronouns were not used and the stark clarity of what had happened became undeniable. A female nurse was suspended because she was uncomfortable getting undressed in front of a male colleague. And women used the correct sex pronouns for that male person. News outlets also.

I doubt that the preferred pronouns will be used as much now. Each month or two at the moment there seems to be something that points out just how ideologically driven it all was. And more and more people are realising that they don't agree with philosophical belief that says that male people can be female.

It is really remarkable to see someone demonise a woman for not using the demanded pronouns, in a discussion about sex based rights. That she has been demonised in this way shows the lack of proportionality when you consider who she was speaking about. Not directly to, but answering a question about.

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 21:50

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 20:25

So... it 'starts to make a good case'? But you said “Being truly transgender is a measurable biological phenomenon” and then posted the study.

Which is it? Starts to make a good case or does it support the absolute statement that you made?

So, do you have a link for the study that you keep claiming supports your now 'grey' claim? Because without the data, the abstract raises far more questions than it covers.

For instance, did they compare age groups like for like when they made those conclusions? What was the exogenous hormonal treatment status of each of the participants? What were the comorbidities that were controlled for?

Do you have this data please?

I have given you three references above, before going to dinner. That was an hour ago.

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 21:52

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 21:48

Yes. I admit I was writing informally. But I did not claim proof, or anything absolute. There are few absolutes in the life sciences.

And the research I’ve cited does show that there are some pretty good measurements for trans identity in the brain.

So, now you are saying that you did not mean the absolutism in your statement.

And the research I’ve cited does show that there are some pretty good measurements for trans identity in the brain.

And you seem unable to answer the rather pertinent questions about the studies that you posted and you declared supported that absolute statement you made.

BiologicalRobot · 18/04/2025 21:52

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 21:50

I have given you three references above, before going to dinner. That was an hour ago.

Your references are flawed though and utterly useless. You may as well linked a banana.

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 21:53

JandamiHash · 18/04/2025 20:48

Why should a woman officer have to strip search a man just because she’s he’s deluded enough to think he’s a woman? Why should a woman share her cell with a dangerous man? Why should women in a hospital ward share their ward with a man? Why does HIS delusion trump truth, reality and women’s safety privacy and dignity?

What makes your friend a woman? I bet £100 it’s everything to do with sexist stereotypes

On a final note, no one is defined by the arrangement of their chromosomes

Hahahha. Except they are. They’re also discriminated against because of these chromosomes. Nobody asks a baby girl what her gender is before performing FGM.

This isn't drama - its just the unwinding of 15 years of fabulously useful legislation

Legislation hasn’t changed. Your mate was just using it incorrectly

It is entirely possibly to abhor FGM and also to think that yesterday’s decision may yet be regretted

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