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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asda driver STILL moaning at me about a visit in January

165 replies

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 14:44

I'm not sure if I've done the right thing or not so would you give me opinions on this please:

So for background I work from home and often have to use the phone for work, especially first thing when the business opens at 9 am for the first half hour or so it's generally busy that way.

I've been using Asda deliveries weekly for 6 or 7 years or so now, and always have the same 10-11 am slot unless work need me to go out on an appointment, then I move it to the next day.

All the drivers have been great and super polite and if on occasion they've come early it's been no problem, they apologise and I just don't mind as I'm usually right there anyway and whenever it's happened, which isn't too often, by chance I haven't been on the phone or out at an early work appointment

So back in early January one driver came half an hour early, at 9.30 am ish but this time although I'd booked a day off for a funeral I was in the shower getting ready for a funeral thinking it was ages until the shopping and instead, of just knocking on and then waiting he banged and banged and I rushed my arse off to get out and dress myself, meanwhile he was banging loudly and ringing my phone over and over, I scrambled to the door and said 'Sorry i was getting ready for a funeral today and I booked the 10 - 11 am slot' and instead of apologising for being so early he said "I thought it wasn't like you not to have your act together!' I squinted at him and said 'Well there's always a chance I wouldn't be free to take a delivery at this time anyway because I'm often on work calls but it's always worth knocking of you're early it's just that I can't guarantee to answer until about 9.45 am ish when the morning rush dies down or I could be still out for a work appointment until then'

So still no apology or 'Ok I understand' he was actually a bit annoyed he said 'Yes but we can come 19 minutes early that's in the rules' I said 'Really I'll have another look on the website, sorry I didn't know that, but it's actually tricky for me to stay off the phone for that long in the early part of the morning' (I did look and it doesn't say that at all as far as I can see, so he might have made it up, and also he was half an hour early and banging the door down which I doubt is allowed). Anyway then he suddenly just started chatting nicely, he mentioned my going to the funeral and he was saying he isn't allowed time off for a funeral unless it's immediate family and his stepdad didn't count so he couldn't go' so I just felt really sorry for him then and just forgot about it, but I was slightly worried if I was ever stuck on the phone with client, if they can come that early and just knocking and banging like that and then moan at me! Anyway I soon just forgot about it altogether and assumed he was probably sorry when he'd thought about it.

But he came again this week with a woman (they were working together), I didn't recognise him because I'd forgotten all about it and it was months ago, but he immediately reminded me in the same sort on moany tone (in front of her) that last time he'd come 15 minutes early (he didn't, he'd actually come half an hour early) and 'You were in the shower, not ready!" I said 'Oh yes I remember, it was the day of the funeral and you came very early' he said 'I was running VERY early you see, and I would have been just waiting and waiting round the corner' I said 'Oh yes I understand, and it's fine usually and definitely worth knocking on with me, because I usually wfh but sometimes if you're very early, I won't be able to get off a work call at that time or I might be out on an appointment but I'll ALWAYS be back well before the slot booked, (he'd clearly forgotten that I'd explained this before) then he started just chatting again, changing the subject and being alright with me again.

So because he'd remembered it all this time and brought it up again to moan at me FOUR MONTHS later (at what I felt was a non-issue), I feel a bit more bothered by it this time, so the point is I've written a note on the delivery notes just explaining my situation (basically a short version of what I said to him both times, that if they are running very early, it's definitely worth knocking on and is normally fine and I'm usually ok to receive it, but I might still be on a work call at that time, and not able to get off the phone or even still out at a work appointment, so please don't keep knocking and ringing the phone if you arrive very early, but that I'll always be ready by about 9.45 am once the busy period at work is usually over.

It's obviously meant as a message just for him really if he does come again, because he'd forgotten that I'd explained all that to him last time and he was still openly annoyed with me about funeral day which bothers me a bit, i just don't want him banging the door and whinging at me again, but since it's never been necessary to spell any of that out for all those years before with any of the other drivers, I wondered what they would make of that message because it's now on there for all of them? What do you think? Is it patronising to them explain my position? Does it come over like I'm stating the obvious (because I'm assuming most of their other customers are in the same position as myself ie wfh and plan their spot around working)? If you are a delivery driver would you roll your eyes at that note and think OMG this is literally my job, bloody hell, I KNOW!, or just think 'Ok that's fine, thanks for the heads up, I won't keep banging on the door if I'm really early'?

Sorry that was a bit long, not busy today, and fully available for a delivery right now if I had one :-)

Oh one other thing, ASDA normally text with a rough ETA on the morning of the delivery but they don't on his days for some reason.

I won't put a poll because it's just the question, shall I take the delivery note off or not?

OP posts:
EBoo80 · 17/04/2025 14:47

You are massively overthinking this whole situation.

LlynTegid · 17/04/2025 14:50

You could just ask not to have the particular delivery driver and see what ASDA response is, even just on the grounds of no warning text.

SeventeenClovesOfGarlic · 17/04/2025 14:50

Far too much talking about this non event has been done already, just tell him you don't want to discuss it for a third time, cheers, if he starts whinging at you yet again.
If you want to add the note just write that early deliveries can't be accepted.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 14:52

EBoo80 haha that's just what I needed to hear! I could do with some more work to do today really, I've been so bored for three hours now, it's just not good for me lol

OP posts:
DancingLions · 17/04/2025 14:52

The first question that comes to my mind, is why don't you change to an 11-12 slot if there's always a danger of them being early and you not being able to answer?

Ashipcalleddignity · 17/04/2025 14:53

My Asda delivery is often early but always states " Delivery is early, don't worry ! We will wait!" So that's clearly the policy. I would complain about this, I think he's totally out of order.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 14:55

DancingLions I can't because we typically get busy spells throughout the day and it sometimes goes hectic again but there's generally a quiet break after about 9.45/10 ish

It's never normally a problem but this guy seems a bit nuts about it

OP posts:
DancingLions · 17/04/2025 14:57

Ah ok, in that case, if he starts again I'd just say "ok you can let it go now, its been months" 😂Your delivery note sounds fine though so I'd just leave it on.

Ihateslugs · 17/04/2025 14:57

DancingLions · 17/04/2025 14:52

The first question that comes to my mind, is why don't you change to an 11-12 slot if there's always a danger of them being early and you not being able to answer?

My thoughts exactly! I think you are cutting it a bit fine by possibly being busy on a work call shortly before the delivery is due.

Ariel896 · 17/04/2025 14:57

Wow! That’s a long arse post about an Asda slot. I honestly wouldn’t spend anymore time thinking about it!

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 14:57

LlynTegid, I guess I could but I don't want to join him in being a moany type of person if that makes sense. I'm not sure if it does actually haha

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 17/04/2025 14:57

If you book 10-11 that’s when I’d expect it to be delivered and I wouldn't take any of their ‘we can be early’ bullshit. If I was amenable to an early call, fine, but his creating a hullabaloo on the morning of a funeral would’ve resulted in robust words and possibly a complaint. You’re the customer and you’re entitled to a bit of customer service. You sound far too accommodating.

CanOfMangoTango · 17/04/2025 14:59

If you wanted a delivery at 9:30 you'd book the 9-10 slot.

If he moans again i would tell him that.

Your delivery note is fine!

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 15:01

Screaming, I think that's hot the nail on the head of what's bothered me, the fact that he did something a bit out of order on the funeral day but I'd assumed he'd thought about it after and felt sorry (as I would have) but he's still cross with ME!

I think you are most probably right, my DH said a similar thing

OP posts:
SoSoLong · 17/04/2025 15:03

Seriously? Just let it go, it's a non-issue.

GRex · 17/04/2025 15:04

Far too much overthinking from both of you. Book 10.30 if you aren't free earlier.

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 17/04/2025 15:05

I’ve had early deliveries twice. One time they called me and I was in so they delivered. The other time they called me and I wasn’t due back until ten minutes before my slot. They said that was fine, don’t know where they went to kill time.

If they offer 10 - 11 slots and you take that slot, I’m going to assume that’s because you want a 10 - 11 delivery.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 15:06

CanOfMango that's so true and it's all worked perfectly for years and years, I just want my slot really, and if I can help them out by being early I will, but with him, I now feel like he's pushing the blame on me and I'm pushing it back onto him, but he's not listening

I'll leave the delivery note on

OP posts:
ItsBouqeeeet · 17/04/2025 15:06

Tbh, I doubt he even gives a shit and is just saying it for small talk.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 15:08

ItsBouqeeet I suppose so, maybe he's just a bit of a moaner in general and it's his way of starting a chat

OP posts:
LookingAtYouLookingAtMe · 17/04/2025 15:10

We had an issue where the delivery was regularly turning up up to an hour before our slot. I didn’t moan but we did find ourselves planning to be home an hour before in case it came early so it was like having a 2 hour time slot. One time we weren’t home, the driver rang us and was really annoyed that he was outside our house and we weren’t there. Despite us reminding him that he was a full hour early, he was really rude. I called and complained and they put a note on our address to say not to be early. Since then our shopping has arrived within the slot we’ve booked which is much better. Leave the note on.

WhereIsMyLight · 17/04/2025 15:10

Anytime I’ve had an early delivery they will call first to check they can deliver early. They often can’t, which is why you see them sat in lay-bys and on the edge of fields or service stations.

He obviously just thinks he knows it all but is full of shite. If the woman spent the day with him, she probably realised that. You don’t need a delivery note because the others are fine. If he mentions it again, tell him he was early and there was no communication to check if you were OK with that. You’re over him being a dick, banging on your door when you were getting ready for a funeral so he shouldn’t still feel bad about it and keep bringing it up.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 15:13

LookingAtYou Oh wow that is so rude of him to be mad at you like that! It's like they don't understand that you're just trying to help them out when you can

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 17/04/2025 15:14

Your OP, explanations to the delivery driver and proposed delivery note are far too long! Just say "If delivery is early I may not be able to answer the door so please only knock/ring once. After 9.45 am is fine."

memoriesofamiga · 17/04/2025 15:15

The cynical side of me wonders if he would keep going on about it this way if you were a bloke (which I'm assuming you're not). But I am the cynical type.

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