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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asda driver STILL moaning at me about a visit in January

165 replies

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 14:44

I'm not sure if I've done the right thing or not so would you give me opinions on this please:

So for background I work from home and often have to use the phone for work, especially first thing when the business opens at 9 am for the first half hour or so it's generally busy that way.

I've been using Asda deliveries weekly for 6 or 7 years or so now, and always have the same 10-11 am slot unless work need me to go out on an appointment, then I move it to the next day.

All the drivers have been great and super polite and if on occasion they've come early it's been no problem, they apologise and I just don't mind as I'm usually right there anyway and whenever it's happened, which isn't too often, by chance I haven't been on the phone or out at an early work appointment

So back in early January one driver came half an hour early, at 9.30 am ish but this time although I'd booked a day off for a funeral I was in the shower getting ready for a funeral thinking it was ages until the shopping and instead, of just knocking on and then waiting he banged and banged and I rushed my arse off to get out and dress myself, meanwhile he was banging loudly and ringing my phone over and over, I scrambled to the door and said 'Sorry i was getting ready for a funeral today and I booked the 10 - 11 am slot' and instead of apologising for being so early he said "I thought it wasn't like you not to have your act together!' I squinted at him and said 'Well there's always a chance I wouldn't be free to take a delivery at this time anyway because I'm often on work calls but it's always worth knocking of you're early it's just that I can't guarantee to answer until about 9.45 am ish when the morning rush dies down or I could be still out for a work appointment until then'

So still no apology or 'Ok I understand' he was actually a bit annoyed he said 'Yes but we can come 19 minutes early that's in the rules' I said 'Really I'll have another look on the website, sorry I didn't know that, but it's actually tricky for me to stay off the phone for that long in the early part of the morning' (I did look and it doesn't say that at all as far as I can see, so he might have made it up, and also he was half an hour early and banging the door down which I doubt is allowed). Anyway then he suddenly just started chatting nicely, he mentioned my going to the funeral and he was saying he isn't allowed time off for a funeral unless it's immediate family and his stepdad didn't count so he couldn't go' so I just felt really sorry for him then and just forgot about it, but I was slightly worried if I was ever stuck on the phone with client, if they can come that early and just knocking and banging like that and then moan at me! Anyway I soon just forgot about it altogether and assumed he was probably sorry when he'd thought about it.

But he came again this week with a woman (they were working together), I didn't recognise him because I'd forgotten all about it and it was months ago, but he immediately reminded me in the same sort on moany tone (in front of her) that last time he'd come 15 minutes early (he didn't, he'd actually come half an hour early) and 'You were in the shower, not ready!" I said 'Oh yes I remember, it was the day of the funeral and you came very early' he said 'I was running VERY early you see, and I would have been just waiting and waiting round the corner' I said 'Oh yes I understand, and it's fine usually and definitely worth knocking on with me, because I usually wfh but sometimes if you're very early, I won't be able to get off a work call at that time or I might be out on an appointment but I'll ALWAYS be back well before the slot booked, (he'd clearly forgotten that I'd explained this before) then he started just chatting again, changing the subject and being alright with me again.

So because he'd remembered it all this time and brought it up again to moan at me FOUR MONTHS later (at what I felt was a non-issue), I feel a bit more bothered by it this time, so the point is I've written a note on the delivery notes just explaining my situation (basically a short version of what I said to him both times, that if they are running very early, it's definitely worth knocking on and is normally fine and I'm usually ok to receive it, but I might still be on a work call at that time, and not able to get off the phone or even still out at a work appointment, so please don't keep knocking and ringing the phone if you arrive very early, but that I'll always be ready by about 9.45 am once the busy period at work is usually over.

It's obviously meant as a message just for him really if he does come again, because he'd forgotten that I'd explained all that to him last time and he was still openly annoyed with me about funeral day which bothers me a bit, i just don't want him banging the door and whinging at me again, but since it's never been necessary to spell any of that out for all those years before with any of the other drivers, I wondered what they would make of that message because it's now on there for all of them? What do you think? Is it patronising to them explain my position? Does it come over like I'm stating the obvious (because I'm assuming most of their other customers are in the same position as myself ie wfh and plan their spot around working)? If you are a delivery driver would you roll your eyes at that note and think OMG this is literally my job, bloody hell, I KNOW!, or just think 'Ok that's fine, thanks for the heads up, I won't keep banging on the door if I'm really early'?

Sorry that was a bit long, not busy today, and fully available for a delivery right now if I had one :-)

Oh one other thing, ASDA normally text with a rough ETA on the morning of the delivery but they don't on his days for some reason.

I won't put a poll because it's just the question, shall I take the delivery note off or not?

OP posts:
CanINapNow · 17/04/2025 17:26

I had this with Tesco once. Calling my phone and loud knocking when they were half an hour early. Woke up napping baby. I was not happy! I then said can you please be very quiet as baby is asleep and the guy was sooooo loud! I complained to Tesco that I booked and paid a premium for the hour I needed and got the slot fee refunded.

TryingToRecover · 17/04/2025 17:30

Did you post about this at the time, OP?

FancyGoose · 17/04/2025 17:31

Last week I answered my phone as I was walking home from the train station at 19.30 and it was my Sainsbury's delivery driver saying in a very short manner 'I'm outside your house and I've been knocking but for some reason no one is answering.' I felt awful and said Im so sorry, what time was the slot, I thought I'd booked it 20:00-21:00 but maybe I made a mistake. His reply, still in an arsey tone was, no you did book it for 8 but it's my last slot of the day and I want to get home, are you telling me I need to sit here and wait for 30 mins. Cheeky git! I just said well you'll have to sit there until I'm home as I booked it for 8 for a reason but as it happens I will only be about 10 more mins. So I can definitely see why it irked you that he's making it out to be your fault. But there is nothing you can do about it now and if he mentions it again I'd just firmly say, you came 30 mins early and that was your problem, not mine.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 17:34

TryingToRecover · 17/04/2025 17:30

Did you post about this at the time, OP?

No I’ve never posted anything before, not for years anyway I’m more of a reader than a poster usually 🤓

Has somebody else had this? I bet their OP was shorter than mine! 🤣

OP posts:
TerracottaWorrier · 17/04/2025 17:35

I feel for you, OP. I massively overthink things, too. Just FYI, you can ask chatgpt stuff like this and get a reality check whenever you want.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 17:37

afig · 17/04/2025 17:13

Sounds like he's the odd one here, so I wouldn't worry about it. I'm certain his employer wouldn't appreciate him bringing it back up again this time when there was absolutely no need.

As a delivery driver, he must deal with all sorts of things, including customers who aren't bothered if he's kept waiting a few minutes. That is part of his job. If he doesn't like it, he can look for another source of employment.

I guess so, I mean I deal with the public and they can be a variable bunch, you just have to be a bit more mature than this guy and stay polite 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 17:39

FancyGoose · 17/04/2025 17:31

Last week I answered my phone as I was walking home from the train station at 19.30 and it was my Sainsbury's delivery driver saying in a very short manner 'I'm outside your house and I've been knocking but for some reason no one is answering.' I felt awful and said Im so sorry, what time was the slot, I thought I'd booked it 20:00-21:00 but maybe I made a mistake. His reply, still in an arsey tone was, no you did book it for 8 but it's my last slot of the day and I want to get home, are you telling me I need to sit here and wait for 30 mins. Cheeky git! I just said well you'll have to sit there until I'm home as I booked it for 8 for a reason but as it happens I will only be about 10 more mins. So I can definitely see why it irked you that he's making it out to be your fault. But there is nothing you can do about it now and if he mentions it again I'd just firmly say, you came 30 mins early and that was your problem, not mine.

Aww that’s shit! Why are they like this? It’s just not winning friends and influencing people is it? It’s very shit service!

OP posts:
TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 17:41

TerracottaWorrier · 17/04/2025 17:35

I feel for you, OP. I massively overthink things, too. Just FYI, you can ask chatgpt stuff like this and get a reality check whenever you want.

Can you really? Hey I’ll try that, thank
you ☺️

I’m much better when I’m busy

OP posts:
Hastentoadd · 17/04/2025 17:43

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 14:44

I'm not sure if I've done the right thing or not so would you give me opinions on this please:

So for background I work from home and often have to use the phone for work, especially first thing when the business opens at 9 am for the first half hour or so it's generally busy that way.

I've been using Asda deliveries weekly for 6 or 7 years or so now, and always have the same 10-11 am slot unless work need me to go out on an appointment, then I move it to the next day.

All the drivers have been great and super polite and if on occasion they've come early it's been no problem, they apologise and I just don't mind as I'm usually right there anyway and whenever it's happened, which isn't too often, by chance I haven't been on the phone or out at an early work appointment

So back in early January one driver came half an hour early, at 9.30 am ish but this time although I'd booked a day off for a funeral I was in the shower getting ready for a funeral thinking it was ages until the shopping and instead, of just knocking on and then waiting he banged and banged and I rushed my arse off to get out and dress myself, meanwhile he was banging loudly and ringing my phone over and over, I scrambled to the door and said 'Sorry i was getting ready for a funeral today and I booked the 10 - 11 am slot' and instead of apologising for being so early he said "I thought it wasn't like you not to have your act together!' I squinted at him and said 'Well there's always a chance I wouldn't be free to take a delivery at this time anyway because I'm often on work calls but it's always worth knocking of you're early it's just that I can't guarantee to answer until about 9.45 am ish when the morning rush dies down or I could be still out for a work appointment until then'

So still no apology or 'Ok I understand' he was actually a bit annoyed he said 'Yes but we can come 19 minutes early that's in the rules' I said 'Really I'll have another look on the website, sorry I didn't know that, but it's actually tricky for me to stay off the phone for that long in the early part of the morning' (I did look and it doesn't say that at all as far as I can see, so he might have made it up, and also he was half an hour early and banging the door down which I doubt is allowed). Anyway then he suddenly just started chatting nicely, he mentioned my going to the funeral and he was saying he isn't allowed time off for a funeral unless it's immediate family and his stepdad didn't count so he couldn't go' so I just felt really sorry for him then and just forgot about it, but I was slightly worried if I was ever stuck on the phone with client, if they can come that early and just knocking and banging like that and then moan at me! Anyway I soon just forgot about it altogether and assumed he was probably sorry when he'd thought about it.

But he came again this week with a woman (they were working together), I didn't recognise him because I'd forgotten all about it and it was months ago, but he immediately reminded me in the same sort on moany tone (in front of her) that last time he'd come 15 minutes early (he didn't, he'd actually come half an hour early) and 'You were in the shower, not ready!" I said 'Oh yes I remember, it was the day of the funeral and you came very early' he said 'I was running VERY early you see, and I would have been just waiting and waiting round the corner' I said 'Oh yes I understand, and it's fine usually and definitely worth knocking on with me, because I usually wfh but sometimes if you're very early, I won't be able to get off a work call at that time or I might be out on an appointment but I'll ALWAYS be back well before the slot booked, (he'd clearly forgotten that I'd explained this before) then he started just chatting again, changing the subject and being alright with me again.

So because he'd remembered it all this time and brought it up again to moan at me FOUR MONTHS later (at what I felt was a non-issue), I feel a bit more bothered by it this time, so the point is I've written a note on the delivery notes just explaining my situation (basically a short version of what I said to him both times, that if they are running very early, it's definitely worth knocking on and is normally fine and I'm usually ok to receive it, but I might still be on a work call at that time, and not able to get off the phone or even still out at a work appointment, so please don't keep knocking and ringing the phone if you arrive very early, but that I'll always be ready by about 9.45 am once the busy period at work is usually over.

It's obviously meant as a message just for him really if he does come again, because he'd forgotten that I'd explained all that to him last time and he was still openly annoyed with me about funeral day which bothers me a bit, i just don't want him banging the door and whinging at me again, but since it's never been necessary to spell any of that out for all those years before with any of the other drivers, I wondered what they would make of that message because it's now on there for all of them? What do you think? Is it patronising to them explain my position? Does it come over like I'm stating the obvious (because I'm assuming most of their other customers are in the same position as myself ie wfh and plan their spot around working)? If you are a delivery driver would you roll your eyes at that note and think OMG this is literally my job, bloody hell, I KNOW!, or just think 'Ok that's fine, thanks for the heads up, I won't keep banging on the door if I'm really early'?

Sorry that was a bit long, not busy today, and fully available for a delivery right now if I had one :-)

Oh one other thing, ASDA normally text with a rough ETA on the morning of the delivery but they don't on his days for some reason.

I won't put a poll because it's just the question, shall I take the delivery note off or not?

Next time don’t answer the door to him if he is early then he will have to come back, he may learn some manners then

SallyWD · 17/04/2025 17:58

I've already posted to say I think the driver was very annoying, however, you really could save yourself stress if you had shopping delivered when you're not working. It's so much easier. I tried to get it delivered when working from home a couple of times but it's sods law that my boss would spontaneously call when the shopping arrived!
Also I felt guilty about doing it during working time. It does take quite a lot of time. Can't you do it at the weekend or in the evening?

NotbloodyGivingupYet · 17/04/2025 17:58

The thing is OP, he might be allowed to turn up 19 minutes early but he has no right to expect you to accept the delivery if he hasn't asked you first.
You are paying for a particular slot. You don't have to do this guy any favours. Sounds like he was trying to be the big man in front of his female colleague too, what a treat for her 🙄

ballettap · 17/04/2025 18:01

memoriesofamiga · 17/04/2025 15:15

The cynical side of me wonders if he would keep going on about it this way if you were a bloke (which I'm assuming you're not). But I am the cynical type.

He absolutely wouldn't.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 18:08

Pinepeak2434 · 17/04/2025 16:29

How strange that you always get the same driver. I use Ocado and I never get the same delivery driver. The Asda driver seems to have got far too familiar with you and doesn’t understand boundaries. Ocado usually call before knocking if they are early and ask if I would like take it earlier, but there’s no obligation/ pressure to take the shopping early. I’d call Asda and ask not to have that particular driver again .

Edited

No he’s only been twice, those two times that he moaned about me (to me!) Like I said, we’ve had Asda deliveries for 6 years and the other drivers have all been fine

OP posts:
TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 18:11

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 17:34

No I’ve never posted anything before, not for years anyway I’m more of a reader than a poster usually 🤓

Has somebody else had this? I bet their OP was shorter than mine! 🤣

I was assuming you meant the first time he came in January? No I just forgot about it until he came again yesterday and was still going on about it 🙄

OP posts:
TryingToRecover · 17/04/2025 18:15

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 17:34

No I’ve never posted anything before, not for years anyway I’m more of a reader than a poster usually 🤓

Has somebody else had this? I bet their OP was shorter than mine! 🤣

Ah ok! I just thought it seemed familiar.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 18:20

BrilliantineStickInsect · 17/04/2025 16:50

I get Asda deliveries and they’re always early too,
I don’t mind it as I work from home and it’s just lucky I haven’t been in a meeting when it’s happened. Tbf I try to book a lunchtime slot to counteract the possibility of that happening.
My last delivery though, I had to cancel as I had to go to a last-minute medical appointment - phoned customer services who assured me they’d contacted the store and cancelled it - lo and behold, the driver turned up early and was completely non-plussed when I said I’d cancelled it. Thankfully I had 10 minutes before I had to leave for my appointment so I could take the delivery in but it was evident that customer services either didn’t contact the store, or the store ignored it.

This is it, I just want it to come at our quietest time of day which is in that slot, I’m often busy before that time and after it but it’s always the best time of day for a break, clients tend to phone on their lunchtime so that’s busy for us

It’s much easier than booking it after office hours and also I sometimes have client appointments after hours, basically we all book the most convenient time for ourselves and most people do have to work, so I think they should be used to that

That’s bad as well that they didn’t cancel your slot!

OP posts:
TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 18:22

TryingToRecover · 17/04/2025 18:15

Ah ok! I just thought it seemed familiar.

I bet this happens a lot, judging from people’s experiences on this thread, seems a few have had this type of thing

OP posts:
Doors247 · 17/04/2025 18:54

I had this, I was in the garden with the jet wash and they came 20 mins early.
But at the time they came to the door I came In to use the toliet so said you were lucky I heard and laughed and he was like 'we are allowed to be 15 mins early'

And last week I was told to get my old man to help me take the shopping in as it was to heavy for me!
I told him I was quite capable to do it and my old man was at work! What a cheek.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 18:59

Doors247 · 17/04/2025 18:54

I had this, I was in the garden with the jet wash and they came 20 mins early.
But at the time they came to the door I came In to use the toliet so said you were lucky I heard and laughed and he was like 'we are allowed to be 15 mins early'

And last week I was told to get my old man to help me take the shopping in as it was to heavy for me!
I told him I was quite capable to do it and my old man was at work! What a cheek.

It’s crazy how they tell you ‘I’m allowed to be early’ but they don’t actually tell anyone that on the website so they just expect people to not be out just by psychic abilities 😵‍💫

I think really it’s just like a PP mentioned, some of them just assume it means that, but it’s really a guideline for how early they are allowed to ask us if we can receive it, but it’s not actually a part of the time window like they seem to think

OP posts:
NotYoCheese · 17/04/2025 19:43

"He was still half an hour early though so still was wrong to bang on the door and complain"

@TheJoySpreader
He was, which kinda blows that theory out of the water! I'd have been tempted not to have got out of the water for him - if you don't answer I presume they have to come back in your proper time slot?
Though of course, sounds like you'd now still be hearing about the time he had to wait to deliver at the right time... 😂

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 19:46

NotYoCheese · 17/04/2025 19:43

"He was still half an hour early though so still was wrong to bang on the door and complain"

@TheJoySpreader
He was, which kinda blows that theory out of the water! I'd have been tempted not to have got out of the water for him - if you don't answer I presume they have to come back in your proper time slot?
Though of course, sounds like you'd now still be hearing about the time he had to wait to deliver at the right time... 😂

Oh my god, can you imagine how long it’d take for him to shake that off 🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
SapphireSeptember · 17/04/2025 20:50

As an aside, step parents are generally considered immediate family, so if Asda wouldn't let him have time off for his step dad's funeral that's really shitty of them. I hate companies being petty about that sort of thing. Everything else he was being unreasonable about.

Plmnki · 17/04/2025 20:57

Just use Ocado. They don’t employ total wankers.

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 21:19

SapphireSeptember · 17/04/2025 20:50

As an aside, step parents are generally considered immediate family, so if Asda wouldn't let him have time off for his step dad's funeral that's really shitty of them. I hate companies being petty about that sort of thing. Everything else he was being unreasonable about.

I couldn’t agree with you more, I can’t see why a person can’t go to anyone they love’s funeral

OP posts:
TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 21:20

Plmnki · 17/04/2025 20:57

Just use Ocado. They don’t employ total wankers.

Thanks, that’s good to know, I might switch if it happens again

OP posts: