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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asda driver STILL moaning at me about a visit in January

165 replies

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 14:44

I'm not sure if I've done the right thing or not so would you give me opinions on this please:

So for background I work from home and often have to use the phone for work, especially first thing when the business opens at 9 am for the first half hour or so it's generally busy that way.

I've been using Asda deliveries weekly for 6 or 7 years or so now, and always have the same 10-11 am slot unless work need me to go out on an appointment, then I move it to the next day.

All the drivers have been great and super polite and if on occasion they've come early it's been no problem, they apologise and I just don't mind as I'm usually right there anyway and whenever it's happened, which isn't too often, by chance I haven't been on the phone or out at an early work appointment

So back in early January one driver came half an hour early, at 9.30 am ish but this time although I'd booked a day off for a funeral I was in the shower getting ready for a funeral thinking it was ages until the shopping and instead, of just knocking on and then waiting he banged and banged and I rushed my arse off to get out and dress myself, meanwhile he was banging loudly and ringing my phone over and over, I scrambled to the door and said 'Sorry i was getting ready for a funeral today and I booked the 10 - 11 am slot' and instead of apologising for being so early he said "I thought it wasn't like you not to have your act together!' I squinted at him and said 'Well there's always a chance I wouldn't be free to take a delivery at this time anyway because I'm often on work calls but it's always worth knocking of you're early it's just that I can't guarantee to answer until about 9.45 am ish when the morning rush dies down or I could be still out for a work appointment until then'

So still no apology or 'Ok I understand' he was actually a bit annoyed he said 'Yes but we can come 19 minutes early that's in the rules' I said 'Really I'll have another look on the website, sorry I didn't know that, but it's actually tricky for me to stay off the phone for that long in the early part of the morning' (I did look and it doesn't say that at all as far as I can see, so he might have made it up, and also he was half an hour early and banging the door down which I doubt is allowed). Anyway then he suddenly just started chatting nicely, he mentioned my going to the funeral and he was saying he isn't allowed time off for a funeral unless it's immediate family and his stepdad didn't count so he couldn't go' so I just felt really sorry for him then and just forgot about it, but I was slightly worried if I was ever stuck on the phone with client, if they can come that early and just knocking and banging like that and then moan at me! Anyway I soon just forgot about it altogether and assumed he was probably sorry when he'd thought about it.

But he came again this week with a woman (they were working together), I didn't recognise him because I'd forgotten all about it and it was months ago, but he immediately reminded me in the same sort on moany tone (in front of her) that last time he'd come 15 minutes early (he didn't, he'd actually come half an hour early) and 'You were in the shower, not ready!" I said 'Oh yes I remember, it was the day of the funeral and you came very early' he said 'I was running VERY early you see, and I would have been just waiting and waiting round the corner' I said 'Oh yes I understand, and it's fine usually and definitely worth knocking on with me, because I usually wfh but sometimes if you're very early, I won't be able to get off a work call at that time or I might be out on an appointment but I'll ALWAYS be back well before the slot booked, (he'd clearly forgotten that I'd explained this before) then he started just chatting again, changing the subject and being alright with me again.

So because he'd remembered it all this time and brought it up again to moan at me FOUR MONTHS later (at what I felt was a non-issue), I feel a bit more bothered by it this time, so the point is I've written a note on the delivery notes just explaining my situation (basically a short version of what I said to him both times, that if they are running very early, it's definitely worth knocking on and is normally fine and I'm usually ok to receive it, but I might still be on a work call at that time, and not able to get off the phone or even still out at a work appointment, so please don't keep knocking and ringing the phone if you arrive very early, but that I'll always be ready by about 9.45 am once the busy period at work is usually over.

It's obviously meant as a message just for him really if he does come again, because he'd forgotten that I'd explained all that to him last time and he was still openly annoyed with me about funeral day which bothers me a bit, i just don't want him banging the door and whinging at me again, but since it's never been necessary to spell any of that out for all those years before with any of the other drivers, I wondered what they would make of that message because it's now on there for all of them? What do you think? Is it patronising to them explain my position? Does it come over like I'm stating the obvious (because I'm assuming most of their other customers are in the same position as myself ie wfh and plan their spot around working)? If you are a delivery driver would you roll your eyes at that note and think OMG this is literally my job, bloody hell, I KNOW!, or just think 'Ok that's fine, thanks for the heads up, I won't keep banging on the door if I'm really early'?

Sorry that was a bit long, not busy today, and fully available for a delivery right now if I had one :-)

Oh one other thing, ASDA normally text with a rough ETA on the morning of the delivery but they don't on his days for some reason.

I won't put a poll because it's just the question, shall I take the delivery note off or not?

OP posts:
TheJoySpreader · 19/04/2025 11:46

I just want to add here for anyone who thinks that people who work from home are not allowed to take the usual breaks most people get during the working day, I hope you are not going for coffee breaks or lunch breaks or that's massively hypocritical.

As pp pointed out, people who wfh ARE allowed the same breaks that other working people are allowed and quite often we'll only take what we need break-wise, because we want stuff completed, there's nobody to say 'go on your break' or go to lunch' you have to apply common sense and manage the work load sensibly.

We have/have had many clients who wfh and they all take breaks, have their shopping, have coffees, take a walk etc they might ring us for example 😁, and it's NOT wrong, we've had people ring us from their place of work on their breaks, it just is not wrong to take a few minutes for yourself now and again. We're humans not robots.

OP posts:
LadyLolaRuben · 19/04/2025 12:03

I've not read the post because it's far too long. Whatever it is, don't give it so much of your energy life too short

ForOliveMember · 19/04/2025 12:05

Technically you could be on the phone at any time during work hours even during your allotted slot, just book it for after you finish work and then it won't cause any stress.

TheJoySpreader · 19/04/2025 12:20

ForOliveMember · 19/04/2025 12:05

Technically you could be on the phone at any time during work hours even during your allotted slot, just book it for after you finish work and then it won't cause any stress.

But I can often be out for work of an evening, I work with clients both in and out of my office, and I don't know when that will be booked in until a day or two before the time, so juggling evenings would be far more inconvenient than a quiet time slot that's worked perfectly for me for 6 years until this.

I am off at weekends but because we both work so much during the week and we've an elderly relative half an hour away to check on, we spend a lot of the weekend in and out doing chores and keeping her company and it's too much of a tie to be home in our spare time.

I just want the slot that works best for me, I will never have a problem receiving shopping during the quiet late mornings, nor will I be tied, because I'm right here anyway by the front door for work anyway at that time. There's not usually calls at that time.

Why would I change my spot, it's just this one incident that happened and it was only so bad because I was off work that day and getting ready for a funeral, that's no reason to abandon the convenient spot and try to juggle it in elsewhere

The issue was him remembering about it after so much time, but as a pp advised me, he probably has a shit work life so if he has to be like that I'll just ignore him now

OP posts:
TheJoySpreader · 19/04/2025 12:21

LadyLolaRuben · 19/04/2025 12:03

I've not read the post because it's far too long. Whatever it is, don't give it so much of your energy life too short

You're right, and I won't now, and because of this thread, I've gained an understanding of possibly why the man couldn't let it lie

OP posts:
TheJoySpreader · 19/04/2025 12:26

It's CRAZY how people think they understand a random person on the internet's life to point out when THEY think you can and should receive the shopping when all of the suggestions would be far worse than the great spot I already have now.

There's literally no other time as convenient as my booked spot, thus been the case for years and years now. I don't have a problem at all with my slot, it's perfect for me!

OP posts:
chocolatemademefat · 19/04/2025 12:33

Arrange evening deliveries.

TheJoySpreader · 19/04/2025 12:34

At the same time I want to say a big thank you for everyone's opinions, overall it's been helpful views from most people and the one's that have missed the point probably is my fault because of the super long OP so thanks to all anyway ❤

OP posts:
NotbloodyGivingupYet · 19/04/2025 13:27

You've been very patient with multiple posters who have asked the same question over and over OP. You are a much nicer person than I am, both to people who don't read all their updates, and to moany delivery drivers!
I wish you only happy nonmoany deliveries in the future.

TheJoySpreader · 19/04/2025 13:49

NotbloodyGivingupYet · 19/04/2025 13:27

You've been very patient with multiple posters who have asked the same question over and over OP. You are a much nicer person than I am, both to people who don't read all their updates, and to moany delivery drivers!
I wish you only happy nonmoany deliveries in the future.

I appreciate your kind words NotBloodyGivingupYet, that's so nice of you and if your username is still relevant in your life, I would like to encourage you in the not bloody giving up yet 💪 because even if it's just a kind word from a stranger, we're always stronger together ✊ x

OP posts:
Dhxusksgxuks · 19/04/2025 13:51

He sounds tedious but honestly I would let it go, it’s not worth this much of your mental energy

Rhaenys · 19/04/2025 19:05

I use Tesco and they always ring and ask first if they can come early, even if it’s only by 10 minutes, and if I don’t answer, they just don’t come until the allocated time. They never just turn up.

I’ve only had one bad experience in over 10 years, and thankfully I never had that driver again. Your experience is the type of thing that would make me switch supermarkets. I hate it when people make things awkward like that. Something similar happened to me with a courier and it makes me dread having parcels delivered by that company now.

SapphireSeptember · 23/04/2025 15:04

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 21:19

I couldn’t agree with you more, I can’t see why a person can’t go to anyone they love’s funeral

Agree with that. I'd have called in sick. I was allowed to have time off for my Nan's funeral and then my colleague (at a different company) was allowed time off for her friend's funeral. I suppose sometimes it's down to management. Although when my nan died (back in 2014) the manager I had then was lovely to me! My mum tried to phone me just before my shift started so I phoned her back, and she told me. I went to the HR office and my manager was there, I was trying to explain what happened while crying and she gave me a hug and I was allowed to go home. Normally she was a nightmare to work for! But that kindness meant a lot to me. (Sorry, bit of a tangent. Blush )

NavyTurtle · 24/04/2025 16:09

TheJoySpreader · 17/04/2025 15:08

ItsBouqeeet I suppose so, maybe he's just a bit of a moaner in general and it's his way of starting a chat

This is why I use self service checkouts - to avoid the chat. I would completely ignore him, not entertain him one little bit. He is not paid to chat. Once he gets no response he will give up. If not, you will just have to be blunt and say, I really do not have time to regurgitate this all over again. Drop the shopping and leave.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 25/04/2025 11:50

NavyTurtle · 24/04/2025 16:09

This is why I use self service checkouts - to avoid the chat. I would completely ignore him, not entertain him one little bit. He is not paid to chat. Once he gets no response he will give up. If not, you will just have to be blunt and say, I really do not have time to regurgitate this all over again. Drop the shopping and leave.

This ^

OP, you need to learn to get comfortable with silence , or giving non answers to people. He does not have the right to disturb your peace.

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