I told him our daughter was in hospital - no message from him

[Purplerose248]

I just feel so much anger as me & my DC(1) are away and she ended up in hospital yesterday with bronchitis, I told my DP this and he just said “ oh she is in good hands then”, no follow up no asking how she is doing nothing- for two days.

He rarely asks how we are doing, he literally acts like a distant family member since we left.

He is not interested - for those thinking he is busy - he is not as he is probably just gaming all day long.

I just don’t understand how a parent can act like this.

Are you separated? If not, sounds like you should be.

Well he wouldn’t be my “DP”, he’d quickly have become an ex.

He's your ex?
Poor bairn, I hope she's alright and you're looking after yourself.

I don't understand it either. How is she doing now?

We are not separated - he makes me feel like we are honestly with this behaviour.
I feel like he couldn’t wait for us to leave so he can just do gaming all day long as he said he will do “projects” when we are away and guess what - he did none.

Your 1 year old is in hospital and your husband is doing nothing? Not dropping everything and coming to join you? DISGUSTING behaviour and not something I could ever get past.
Im sorry OP. Do you have other support? Hoping your baby recovers quickly.

Thank you for asking 🥹

Her little lungs are filled with mucus and they are inflamed.
She had fever and her coughing must be very painful for her. She has been unwell for a week now.

He’s a dick.

Poor little poppet, I hope she feels better soon. It's horrible watching them struggle isn't it (mum of two chronic asthmatics, spent many an hour watching my two struggle with their lungs).

Hopefully this has given you the wake up call you need to get rid!

Why isn't he at work or does he work from home. Hope your little one feels better soon.

Are you asking for advice on how to leave him? Because surely that is a deal breaker

So he hasn’t joined you on a family holiday and is instead gaming at home and not doing any of the things he said he would do ? Tell him to pack his bags - fucktard

If one of your good friends acted in this way would you be disappointed?
Of course you would.
And this is your child’s FATHER??
Absolutely selfish and shameful behaviour, I could never get over this personally.
I hope your little girl gets better very soon.

We have been away for a month now - he didn’t ask me for a phone call or video call once.

My DC called him many times on a video call he never answered nor called back.

When he messages, his messages look like this “ sorry baby I was gaming with X, I made myself food” and that’s all.

Oh OP, I didn’t assume he was busy, I assumed he was a deadbeat. And I was correct. You’d be better off without this total embarrassment to men and fathers in your life. What a disgrace he is.

I hope your daughter is recovering.

It’s absolutely disgusting- I’m so angry as I can’t recognise the man I married.
I can’t believe he doesn’t ask how his daughter is doing.

Is he the biological father? Does he have mental health problems? Autism? Addiction? Something doesn’t add up.

He hasn’t asked because he’s in his own little world gaming with his chums.
He sounds ridiculously immature, the problem is that your little girl will get older and will he still be absolutely oblivious to her (and your) needs?

Horrendous behaviour. Most parents would be driving through the night or getting on the next plane if told their child was in hospital.
Interested to know where you are being away for such a long time. It sounds like he's disengaged totally from being a father.
What's he like when you're together? I'd bet money he sees childcare as your responsibility, doesn't do equal shares of home chores and still goes out whenever he wants assuming you'll be with your DD, yet rarely facilitates your free time.

He is the biological father, he hasn’t been diagnosed with anything so far. He is addicted to gaming yes. Like for example, he can game all day long.
He was gaming three times a week all evening when we were at home. It’s like a house rule to leave him those hours even if the house is burning.

Where have you gone for a month without him? Are you abroad on holiday? Visiting relatives somewhere? It’s a long time without some kind of purpose (sorry, I found this addition really distracted me from the purpose of the op).

Either way he’s a dick and a total waste of a space as a father let alone dh/dp.
Ditch the loser. Your dd deserves more from life than that pathetic excuse for a role model. He’s a joke.
Hope she rallies and perks up soon op, the poor little poppet 💐

That's bizarre, most parents would be beside themselves with worry. When stuff like this has happened when I've not been there, my husband has been annoyed with me for asking for so many updates that its overwhelming for him to answer. I don't think I could forgive the lack of thought or concern. I don't know if there is much point in talking to him...he might start calling you and showing concern etc...but he still won't actually care

I would split up with him. I don't see his behaviour getting anything better. Hope you are ok. It's hard enough dealing with a sick child never mind doing it without your husband's support

My DH regularly games like this, I once knew him to spend 11 hours non stop gaming and he forgot to eat. Definitely was addicted although not so bad now. But if one of his kids needed him at any time, he would be there instantly.
Sounds like your DP is not a stand up father!