I told him our daughter was in hospital - no message from him

[Purplerose248]

I just feel so much anger as me & my DC(1) are away and she ended up in hospital yesterday with bronchitis, I told my DP this and he just said “ oh she is in good hands then”, no follow up no asking how she is doing nothing- for two days.

He rarely asks how we are doing, he literally acts like a distant family member since we left.

He is not interested - for those thinking he is busy - he is not as he is probably just gaming all day long.

I just don’t understand how a parent can act like this.

Honestly dont say this very often but LTB. He doesnt deserve a family that loves him when he barely tolerates them. Your kid and you deserve so much more. LTB. Life is short. Too short for this. He has serious addiction issues - maybe not heroin but serious enough to fuck his life and yours up. Good luck. I bet you won't miss him at all. X

He is 100% financially screwed which is absolutely as it should be. Providing no weird trusts, interests, or undertakings associated with the inheritance, then your family home could well be a shared asset regardless of it being him that inherited - you’re married, the law is different because of that.

LTB. This is unforgivable, he can't even be bothered to pretend to give a shit.
TBH I would be side eyeing anyone I knew who stayed with a man who didn't work and just gamed for two years. Yuck.

Gaming? 🙄
Ditch the man child.

Wow op. What a charmer he is.

He has shown you very clearly through his actions who he is and what his priorities are. What a despicably selfish man.

Why get married or become a father in the first place if all he wants to do is game?

Op I beg you to take him at his word and give him space, permanently.

Do you work op? Do you earn enough to finance your own place?

When I was about that age, I was urgently admitted to hospital, sufficiently sick then when my parents were booted out for the night (thank god that doesn't happen the same now!) they were told to say goodbye to me, not goodnight, just in case. They rang my retired grandparents asking them to come look after my older sibling, so my parents could both spend all day with me. The grandparents delayed coming by 24 hours, for fairly trivial reasons. When my grandparents died nearly 40 years later, I still don't think my parents had entirely forgiven them, and certainly had never forgotten. Because in our family's most vulnerable scary moment, they weren't there. And this is the child's actual father. Who doesn't care enough to even message. You're not going to be able to forget this. And I'm not convinced that you should forgive it. He's an arsehole.

What a worthless piece of shit. Ditch him the minute you get back. Kick him and his gaming stuff out.

He doesn’t sound like a father. Let alone a DP

Where are you now?
go home. make sure you are living in it.

Are you married?
and who owns the property?
The property is a family asset
Be cautious around him don’t tel him your plans. Don’t give him reason to feel a change is coming.
consult a solicitor
get copies of all documents / finances
if you don’t part own the home (ie not listed on registry as owner) then speak to a solicitor about whether you could / should register a charge against the property

get yourself in order and then do it.
separate.
unless he is ill of course then you might wait around to support recovery and find that man you fell in love with and had a child with.

good luck

Saying “ I made myself food” , he sounds like a child talking to his parent. Get rid!

I just saw a You Tube or Instagram short about addicts, saying that whether it is gaming, drink, drugs, gambling, they all suffer from arrested development.

They fail to mature beyond the point that the addiction took hold. So they are usually stuck in adolescence or early adulthood, because the addiction is basically a way of avoiding confronting challenges in their lives.

As a consequence, you very often find yourself living with a teen or young adult in a fully mature adult’s body, who is selfish, uncompromising, deflects blame when called out, who can’t see the consequences of their behaviour on others.

I think this describes your dh pretty accurately op.

If there is no chance of change on his part, initiated by him willingly, then I think you would be very much within your rights to ltb as you really don’t want your baby subjected to this kind of heartbreaking indifference.

Leave him. He is a waste of oxygen.

@Purplerose248 have you been in another country for a month??? who inherited the house, you or your husband/partner???

And this showed how wonderful he would be as great role model to a child?

Where are you then? Just stay where you are and leave him.

How is she doing this morning? Hope she's feeling better.

This is would be a deal breaker for me. He's shown you where your child comes on his list of priorities. He should have unconditional love. He should be texting you frequently asking how she is. He should have offered to come and be with you. He should have shown you he loved and cares for you both. The only concern he's shown his gaming. Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with a man like this?

He sounds awful..

He's damaging your child psychologically... How awful.

I'd get to a solicitor as soon as.... Am sure you'll have a lot of rights re house... As you have young family.

Don't let him know your ure consulting a lawyer.

Then decide what you want to do

I have questioned him yesterday on how it’s possible for him not to ask how his daughter is and that I’m very disappointed for him not answering any of our calls or calling back and guess what no answer he even might have blocked me now.

Honestly, I feel sorry for her the most as she will be growing without a dad.

It’s his inheritance.

I’m so sorry. He’s not bothered about you or his child at all is he? Well at least now you know so you can get on with your lives without him. Get some legal advice about the money. If you’re married me he’s your child’s biological father I don’t think he can expect you to just walk away with nothing.

I think it’s time to move out permanently, you are wasting your life and as far as we know, you only get one.

How’s little one today- my ds had bronchitis a few time when he was little I’ve never forgotten how terrifying it is. Poor baby hugs to you both.

as for your partner he’s no father he’s a self absorbed, lazy manchild with zero cares in the world- whilst you are worried sick caring for your child in hospital. You sounds like a wonderful mum and you and your baby deserve so much more than this. He is nothing but a hindrance to you and baby’s happiness- I very very rarely say this but please leave the bastard.

That's so unattractive..
What do you mean by you're away? Away at the hospital, away on holiday, away visiting relatives etc
I hope your little one bounces back very soon!

The thing is I know him very well and he is cruel person who enjoys torturing me mentally.

He knows that this behavior is wrong and that I am worried and he makes me feel so lonely and belittled.

It’s very worrying - she is still very active and a very happy young toddler but she coughs a lot and we need to get rid of this infection. Her lungs are so little.

I agree with you - he became a cruel person who doesn’t care about anyone anymore probably only his porn & gaming.