I told him our daughter was in hospital - no message from him

[Purplerose248]

I just feel so much anger as me & my DC(1) are away and she ended up in hospital yesterday with bronchitis, I told my DP this and he just said “ oh she is in good hands then”, no follow up no asking how she is doing nothing- for two days.

He rarely asks how we are doing, he literally acts like a distant family member since we left.

He is not interested - for those thinking he is busy - he is not as he is probably just gaming all day long.

I just don’t understand how a parent can act like this.

I think i would be sending a message to say as you have not been in contact to check how your dv is doing in hospital, I hope it's because your either in a hospital bed yourself or packing your belongings to move out as they are the only acceptable reasons for lack of fucks given.

I rarely say this but LTB

A month?!!! He’s totally checked out of family life hasn’t he? The obvious thing to do is divorce him, but I know in your position I’d find it hard to go straight to that. Maybe try reading him the riot act and give him a chance to change, while making it clear that failure to do so results in divorce. I think you’ll still have to divorce him, but I know I’d feel the need to try to fix things if possible. I hope your child is doing better now.

He works from home - but it’s a very flexible job.

Oh for gods sake, get rid of him. Now. He’s an oxygen thief.

you and your little girl are going to have a great life without him.

I would have fallen out of love with him in that moment and there would be no hope for our future relationship.

Before I left he told me he needs some time for himself. And he has lots of projects to do that he couldn’t do when we were there(he did nothing).

We have argued a lot in the last months, and he has said many times that if we separate I’m the one leaving as the house we live in is his inheritance.

I wouldn't ever go home, spend the time you are sitting in hospital organising either kicking him out or getting yourself new accommodation.

What a horrible situation OP.
First things first - focus on getting your child better. Than sort out an exit plan. Somewhere for you both to live, and a good solicitor.
Is your employment stable and do you have RL support? You will need both.

Are you in UK? Get yourself on the council house waiting list. You can mentally separate from him and tell him later, when you have somewhere to go.

Jeez how did you come to marry a 14 year old?

Does he not have a job

What do his parents think about the son they have given birth to and raised?

Have you told him what an absolutely shit father he is? Why are you still with him?

he has said many times that if we separate I’m the one leaving as the house we live in is his inheritance

Cool story (from him) as its very very unlikely to be true you have no claim on the house which is what he is implying

So What does that ACTUALLY mean?

How long have you been married?
When did you buy the house?
Do you have any mortgage?
Who is named of the deeds?
Are his parents actually dead or did they "gift" it?

I'd be looking to divorce and separate and I wpuldnt give two shits about keeping the house but I'd want 50%+ of the equity

Also 🤮 at the idea any grown women is physically intimate with this tweeny man

So he’s keeping the threat of making you homeless if you dare to leave him hanging over you? Nice guy!

Where are you living?

Did he really want to be father in the first place? Was he happy and involved from the start?

We inherited the house when we were married- no mortgages whatsoever.

England

Why did you leave for a month?

Presumably he is an ex now, right? Better no dad than a deadbeat.

If you have been using the inherited house as family home then it is a marital asset

If you are married , it doesn't matter if he inherited the house , you still have a claim to it. Plus child support. Can you just stay where you are and start proceedings from there. He doesn't sound like much of a parent and is a shit partner to boot . Grown man obsessed by gaming , unless it's a career and earning tons , are just so unattractive and juvenile. You definitely could do better in a relationship and as he is no use anyway you and your DD would be just fine together.

See a solicitor.

Honestly I don't understand this person.

He is so lucky. A mortgage free home, a lovely family and all he cares about is his stupid game? To the extent he won't even speak to his child on a video call when apart for a month?

As previous posters have pointed out, it's likely under English law that he'd have to buy you out of the marital home that you share. But you do need proper advice.

The funniest thing is he never told me he was addicted to gaming. I found about it only when we moved in together permanently. At one point he didn’t work for 2 years he was just gaming.