I’m absolutely devastated about our school placement

[Itsallaboutme2021]

Is anyone else devastated about their school placement today? I can’t stop crying and don’t want to tell anyone, I’m not excited and this is my only child. I feel robbed of this experience. I’m gutted.

We got our 3rd choice, ( it was mainly my husband choice) the school is soulless.
Here are my list of pros and cons.

Cons- no green area on site ( they use a local public park)
It’s religious…. I’m not.
The library was pitch black when we visited and looks like it hadn’t been used in months.
The classrooms looked messy and chaotic.
I didn’t pay much attention to anything else as I knew it was not the school I wanted for our child.

Pros-
It does some nice charity work.
It’s above the national average for maths, English & writing.
Its probably the only multicultural school in the area.
It’s walking distance.

I could really do with some positive comments please. My husband is desperately looking at ways to help me see this isn’t such a bad school.

Oh my god of course I agree, it is not first world problems. I should probably clarify the school we got a place for is a school I didn’t want but husband did so he won on that and I won on our second choice. It is what it is and like most of the comments which I have taken on board, the school sounds great and hopefully our DD will thrive.

Being being able to walk home with your mates is one of my fondest childhood memories, we played out on the street together, walked to each other houses etc. Also, our library was tiny, however we funraised money to have a renovate it, buy new books and to install a computer (the early 2000s lol).

Also I went to a religious secondary, and religion only makes up a small percent of the school day. You just roll with it even if you do not believe, just teach your child to be respectful of others beliefs.

The pros are brilliant, and definitely outweigh the cons! OP, your child will get a good education, in a caring school, close to home. Bingo!
I think you need to put your reservations to one side, see the positives and encourage your child so that they look forward to joining the school.

Call me old fashioned, but a school within walking distance with better than average results sounds fantastic!
I know what it is to be disappointed with a school placement, OP, but the school sounds fine and I hope your DD (and you) enjoy the primary school experience there.

Walking distance and local friends together with good teaching is actually a win.

Sounds you like the idea of nice polished school, but those parameters don't say that much about the every day experience.

Some of the disadvantages are things you can cover yourself - is there a public library in your area? Make it a habit going there twice a month together.

I actually don’t need a polished school, there’s a lot more details to how I’m feeling but didn’t wanna go in to negative.

our placement school has been under subscribed for 3 years in a row now, what will that look like for funding? The local park ( I say park it’s a patch of grass) (the closest resemblance of a park next door is a swing with graffiti all over it) is used for dog walking and there has been homeless sleeping in there, the area I live in is a drug rehabilitation area so you can’t guarantee there won’t be things in the field that shouldn’t be, the school puts anyone with any ‘special needs’ into different rooms from the normal teaching classrooms ( I want my child to know there are different people in the world and we need to be patient and kind)…. This is all the negatives I was trying to be positive as the only thing I see is the national average for this school are great! Or and walking!

can I get past the other stuff!! 😔

Okay, having looked at the stats for North Somerset, you are in a very small minority, but that probably means most people put their catchment school as first choice. When you applied did you look at how likely you would have been to have got a place in previous years? There's a difference if most years you would get in and this year you missed out by a place or two, rather than having no chance in any year and you put an unrealistic choice.

I know so OTT

Yeah we looked at all the stats, a place was given last year further than us. So it wasn’t unrealistic.

I’m surprised a school in North Somerset has no space for a playground/school field. I would accept place but appeal for first choice. If allocated school is much nearer your home then I guess that might be reason it was allocated. How far away is first preference? Can you afford to move house to be nearer?

In which case, you may have just missed out and could get a place from the waiting list at your preferred school then.

Yeah we could afford to move but we choose having a better quality of life and a lower mortgage than crippling ourselves but guess it’s the prices we’ve paid on the better schools.

We’ve also just spent a lot of money renovating.

So..firstly you can appeal the place if you really hate it.

But also...possibly give it a chance. My kids started at an 'outstanding' school with an excellent reputation in an expensive area, and every day at pick up I heard the teachers shouting at the kids like prison wardens...we weren't ever allowed in the building, had to wait outside by the motorway, very disorganised school always making errors with dates, sending my kids on the wrong school trips sometimes (!). Very rough area immediately surrounding (although the area in general was 'nice') with lots of fights and violence witnessed firsthand. Lots of issues with other kids in class bullying/being violent and just not nice.

I moved them to a school with not as good a rating, more rough seeming families, not as nice an area. But the teachers and staff were so much nicer and more welcoming, the families were much nicer and the community was more welcoming. The quality of teaching was great - more relaxed, but that matched the ethos of the school, and you could do as much/little as you wanted (ie homework was given but it wasn't mandatory). Not ONE issue with bullying or bad behaviour, all the kids gave each other hugs and high fives at the end of the day.

Ultimately reputation and rating don't necessarily mean much. Everyone still talks about how amazing School #1 is, but that was not our experience at all.

In my experience the best way to judge a potential school is by the pupils who attend. Do they appear happy? Are they confident?
When we were shown round my children's school we met a lad in the corridor who happily introduced himself, held the door open for us and had had a lovely chat with the head teacher, who obviously had a very warm relationship with him. That was a huge plus (and probably more important than results to us).
You are trusting your baby to the school, honestly their happiness is much more dependent on the nurturing environment than a patch of muddy grass.

It doesn't work like that, places are allocated based on a specific criteria and all applications are ranked based on admissions criteria. Even moving into catchment and then appealing won't guarantee you'll get a place, infant class sizes are limited at 30 per class, if there were only 28 children allocated places then the OP would have been offered a place even if out of catchment.

There is a big difference between "souless with dark library" and "unsafe area".

However, if I understand correctly, it is the area you have chosen to live in, so it probably isn't that bad?

( this is said light heartedly)

Shame on you woman who like to kick another woman while she’s down, if you’re clever enough to actually read my OP, I’m saying ‘ I’m being so silly aren’t I?’ And asking for a bit of reassurance and to hear any other stories from similar situations. I’m sorry you didn’t get that.

I should clarify a few details:

We moved to this area to be closer to grandparents, it wasn’t where I’ve ever wanted to live but here we are, doing the best we can with what we have.

School choice no 1, is a small village, nicer feel and is the nicest school in the area in a lot of people’s opinions ( as I’ve said I’m new to the area to so I will listen to this and also take it as a pinch of salt) It ticked 90% of our boxes.

school no 2- very similar to first choice but further away but is in the same village as grandparents to potentially help with school pick ups…. My next doors neighbours DD goes here, again not an unreasonable application.

school we’ve been placed at- is Catholic, I’m almost an atheist….
It felt dull and lifeless, uses a public green space for sports days ( not a daily use), we are in a drug rehabilitation area so I know this area has seen tents and all sorts in it, it’s not allowed to be used for dog walking but people do, I think because it’s a church there is probably a high community feel. It’s walking distance. They are currently looking for a new head teacher.

I guess it’s just pot luck with these things, and for us we’ve missed out.

Im feeling better today but just needed to get it off my chest.

Thank you.

If you really like your area - are you sure there is so much wrong with the school?

Your neighbourhood children are mostly going to be in the local primary - this is your community. To me that is the benefit of state primary schools - they provide an incredible sense of place and community.

I have made friends for live at the two primaries we have been part of. Neither school was perfect - but remember it's only really the sum total of local parents - you personally could be an active member of that community.

I think the. problem with a school library may be lack of resources - ie. adults - to staff it. You could always offer to volunteer getting it back on track or set up a group of concerned parents to spport =- also a way to make local friends.

But how many on those actually chose a 1st or 2nd actually in their catchment? You chose a 1st and 2nd out of catchment which is a little unrealistic

This is crazy to hear, I understand it’s not all about reputation and being in the best area. X

I lived walking distance from a school that I didn't like for the same reasons. Library wasn't used, being snobby it was a but rough around the edges. So I drove my child to the next nearest school in a very affluent area. Someone that lived a stones throw from me did the same. Half of that class came from around our side of town.
The school my child ended up at was snobby beyond belief. The local parents with very few exceptions were arseholes on a whole other level. Literally divided the class. I'm talking Birthday parties only for children that lived local to the school not from 5 minutes down the road
Mums drinks for the same. Nasty nasty mean girls.
We actually relocated and the school were are now at is much better academically although in a poorer area, increased Pupil premium ect.
The other child that loved close to us originally had a lot of issues in the first school and as a result her mum and dad moved her to the school that we had not previously not wanted andactively avoided... shes thrived... happier, more supported, more rounded and having a great time.

The other thing is if you dislike certain points of the school... get involved... pta/governor effect change. The school we are at now have movie nights, quizzes, bingo, discos every term. Selection boxes at xmas, easter eggs at easter for all the kids. Fund the year 6 leavers gifts and goodies and contribute to school wish list. It makes the school experience of the children really lovely.

Good luck

Cons- no green area on site ( they use a local public park)
Neither does mine and it's an amazing school. They use the park really well with the added advantage that there's wildlife such as ducks, swans and squirrels at the park which you don't get in a playground. Plus more plantlife. They collect fircones and do leaf rubbings.
It’s religious…. I’m not.
Neither am I but my children attend C of E. The vicar lives next door in the vicarage. No issues whatsoever with it. The vicar is absolutely lovely and all the school plays are in the church so there's plenty of space and gives a lovely atmosphere to the nativities. Think 6 year olds signing silent night solos and it echoing around a beautiful church. Even the dads cry.
The library was pitch black when we visited and looks like it hadn’t been used in months.
This is just your perception. It doesn't mean it hadn't been.
The classrooms looked messy and chaotic like they had been used and enjoyed by young children
I didn’t pay much attention to anything else as I knew it was not the school I wanted for our child.
Well, putting it down as a third choice was a little silly then.

Pros-
It does some nice charity work.
So it's caring and will install good values in your children
It’s above the national average for maths, English & writing.
Very rare and would swing it for me.
Its probably the only multicultural school in the area.
So it's hard to see how the religious aspect bothers you, since it's likely to have children of all faiths there
It’s walking distance.
A godsend. Great exercise for your children, extra exposure to fresh air and vitamin D, and friends will be local. Lovely after school park meet-ups on the horizon!

If you forget about the two schools that were out of catchment. Were there any other better schools closer and in catchment than your 3rd choice that you didn't put on your list? Is it worth getting on waiting list for those? Especially if they are non religious

No, the one near us has a very bad reputation. ( I’ve heard the kids swearing and all sorts to parents on the school run)