I’m absolutely devastated about our school placement

[Itsallaboutme2021]

Is anyone else devastated about their school placement today? I can’t stop crying and don’t want to tell anyone, I’m not excited and this is my only child. I feel robbed of this experience. I’m gutted.

We got our 3rd choice, ( it was mainly my husband choice) the school is soulless.
Here are my list of pros and cons.

Cons- no green area on site ( they use a local public park)
It’s religious…. I’m not.
The library was pitch black when we visited and looks like it hadn’t been used in months.
The classrooms looked messy and chaotic.
I didn’t pay much attention to anything else as I knew it was not the school I wanted for our child.

Pros-
It does some nice charity work.
It’s above the national average for maths, English & writing.
Its probably the only multicultural school in the area.
It’s walking distance.

I could really do with some positive comments please. My husband is desperately looking at ways to help me see this isn’t such a bad school.

Should say.... Results wouldn't really be a big factor for me, and messy classrooms/a bit soulless fine. But I'd be asking questions about how much active time the kids get.

We visited 6 schools. Three had huge playgrounds with loads of grass and trees. I assumed that would be important to me in my choice. In the end my first choice was a school with a much smaller playground that is mostly concrete with a section of artificial grass. BUT it has fantastic playground play equipment, a road network marked out etc - I see now that the lack of grass has big advantages as it's all usable all year round and the kids are so active in the space they have. Five of the schools had fantastic libraries - our first choice was the one that didn't. Instead they prioritise books in the classroom and reading is one of the schools main focuses and strengths.

Most important to me was after school care provision, the ethos of the school, the head teacher, the school community in terms of feeling like we as a family would fit in, and absence rates. Two of the schools ultimately rose above the others for us and we chose the closest one. There is a lot to be said for being close to home if possible.

I totally get your disappointment but I think you may be pleasantly surprised by the school. Those pros are great pros! in fact your pros and cons sound just like my daughters school and it’s great! The lack of green space on school premises doesn’t bother her, they have a private field right near to the school and a forest school. We are also not religious but it hasn’t been an issue. What they do have to offer far outweighs any cons and my daughter has thrived there (year 5 now). Good results and walking distance are massive pros which you will be thankful for trust me 😂

This is reassuring to know, funny the school we wanted has just had outstanding, it’s a village location school. This post has really helped me see past my initial panic. I know it’s not about me, but I wanted to feel excited for our DC and feel a bit flat, but I’ll take everything on what most people have said xx

I work in a physically run down school with no playing fields and no library because we’re squished into a site that is far too small. It’s a magical place. Multi cultural, with pupils making fantastic progress and an excellent well being team. It’s such a happy place, despite its sad appearance. I hope your school turns out to be similar.

I assume the third choice one was your catchment area school and one & two were out of catchment? The likelihood is that if you appeal you would be unsuccessful, applications for F2 places are ranked on strict criteria through your Local Authority. I manage admissions for our school and I have to rank all applications for F2 against our admissions policy and then send this to the LA.

If no.1 choice school has an intake of 30 and there are 50 first choice applications then, they'll allocate as per the rankings and then the remaining children will be allocated their 2nd choice if places are available and down the list it goes. If you are out of catchment then you would have been very low down the rankings especially if it is oversubscribed.

Having said that if you desperately want to go to your 1st choice then speak with admissions and ask to stay on the waiting list, you may well be no. 1 or 2 on the wait list and there is always movement.

Also to add, our reception class always looks like a bomb has hit it but the children are always smiling, do lots of learning through play and clearly are enjoying their time at school which is so important.

I really don't think a messy and chaotic classroom is a concern.

It could well be a sign of children learning in a more hands-on / free-play manner

That OP was a joke????

I can’t tell you what a huge bonus walking to school is. Total game changer, especially when your child gets older and can walk themselves. Plus, it’s likely they’ll have friends in walking distance too, another big bonus when they get old enough to play out or call round to each others houses. With my kids this has carried on through secondary and we never need to taxi them anywhere really. Massive plus!!

Walking distance is a massive pro
Granted I would hate the religious aspect but you can override that at home. Lots of “well
some people believe…..”

Yeah this is exactly right, 3rd choice is closest, 1&2 out of our catchment. It’s fine, I’m coming to terms with the decision and it might all happen for a reason you know x

Practical advice.

calm down! 🙂
accept the place then you are sure you have a place for September

try to arrange a visit to the school again, or at least walk past at drop off and pick up to get a sense of how the current cohort seem ie happy, chatting, positive , tells you a lot about their day and expectations of school.

if you are really not happy then make sure you are on the waiting list for the other schools on your application , and check with the LA for any other local schools who have places.

It sounds like a lovely school from what you’ve described!
None of our local primary schools have a dedicated library at all, just a wall or corner in the multi purpose room.
A messy classroom is probably a good sign at primary stage imo. And being in walking distance is such a benefit when it comes to growing and maintaining friendships and letting them gain a little independence when they’re further up the school.

A school is so much more than a lovely building or environment - it’s the kids, teachers, diversity, sense of community that give it spirit and soul.

Your sense of pros is wonderful. Lucky child!!

This. It's above average academically AND it has time to give back with charity works in the community?

We used the park nearby too. And a local running track. Our school was top of the local league table in an area where parents had high expectations.

Libraries come to life when explored alone during lunch breaks in my experience. I bet it's well-stocked. Was it dark because no parents were looking at it so auto lights were off? Or did you think it looked dingy? Presumably you viewed it in the evening- is its lighting designed for day time?

This school sounds like a keeper. But what what did your child think, OP?

It is disappointing not to get your first preference, but you have mentioned some real strengths: above average attainment; an intake reflecting the local community; and within walking distance. You are your child’s first and most enduring educator. Some of the drawbacks you mention can be overcome. You can take your child to the park or out in nature. You can visit the local library and read with them every day. You can model resilience and being positive. Read the most recent Ofsted report, have a look at the attendance data and consider behaviour, but otherwise it sounds fairly good.

@Itsallaboutme2021 * * - I was in your position 2 years ago and honestly, it was so stressful! I was also devastated and cried like you!
I fully understand your worry
I have a positive story though! Our school had 25 siblings that year and we didn’t get in on the 1st or 2nd waitlist run
We got our place in July along with another 4 kids! We were also well within catchment
Try not to worry or also worry about where you are on the list as that can also change, there is so much movement between now and September
I’m sure you will get a place 😊

We got our fifth choice and it turned out to be perfect. First choice outstanding school had a bullying problem.

my DH was upset it was c of E but the kids were sweethearts!

Haven't read any replies, but above average results, and multicultural, sounds great. The other issues sound trivial to me

Adding an experience of mine - I worked for about 5 years in school admissions for the local authority. One particular high school everyone wanted and the waiting list was massive. Lots of parents upset by not getting in. In October some spaces opened up, children who hadn’t taken their space after all etc.

Could I fill these spaces easily? Almost all the people I called went nooo we like the school we’ve got, they’ve settled etc. I called so many parents before I could fill the spaces!

I hope you will feel this positive when you start and this thread has helped in the meantime :)

Sounds just like my DS old primary school in London. Religious, walking distance, multicultural, just a concrete playground, but next to the park where they did sports day etc, and was great for hanging out after school. It was a great school.

Most state schools can’t afford green spaces; you want that, go private.

The school actually sounds really good. The only issue I would have is the no green space and using a park. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with them using a public part for regular lessons and play as surely the routine will be known and there may be a security risk to this. I think green space is really important and at dds school the kids have a big playground with green field space, separate green areas with climbing equipment for different stages, a forest school area and an allotment type area where they plant and dig.

What a nice, lovely, helpful and positive reply 👏🏻

Do not underestimate the benefit of being within walking distance if the school your child will go to for 7 years!

To have to drive or get a bus to go to school twice a day in all weather's is honestly shit.

IMHO the most important thing when choosing a school is being within walking distance of it.

My son’s school has the most beautiful library. Hand painted book characters covering the walls, honestly it’s dreamy. Great selling point for an open day! In reality he uses it once a week, when they choose a library book to take home. All other reading takes place in the classroom or at home. Guided reading, story time etc is all done in class rooms. So as much as they have this beautiful space, I wouldn’t say it has a real impact on his learning or reading engagement.