I’m absolutely devastated about our school placement

[Itsallaboutme2021]

Is anyone else devastated about their school placement today? I can’t stop crying and don’t want to tell anyone, I’m not excited and this is my only child. I feel robbed of this experience. I’m gutted.

We got our 3rd choice, ( it was mainly my husband choice) the school is soulless.
Here are my list of pros and cons.

Cons- no green area on site ( they use a local public park)
It’s religious…. I’m not.
The library was pitch black when we visited and looks like it hadn’t been used in months.
The classrooms looked messy and chaotic.
I didn’t pay much attention to anything else as I knew it was not the school I wanted for our child.

Pros-
It does some nice charity work.
It’s above the national average for maths, English & writing.
Its probably the only multicultural school in the area.
It’s walking distance.

I could really do with some positive comments please. My husband is desperately looking at ways to help me see this isn’t such a bad school.

We moved to get into our top choice primary school. I genuinely tought it was the best state primary school in the country. So happy when we got allocated it as our first choice.

Two years later I'd moved my children to another school I'd never heard of before because the apparently 'amazing' school was, in fact, awful!! And turns out the average, never heard of it before school was bloody brilliant and my children thrived there! Oldest has long since left and youngest is finishing year 6 this summer. Both had incredible experiences, have done well academically and made fantastic friends.

You really can't tell what a school will be like until the children start there. You might well be pleasantly surprised with the one you've been allocated. 'Amazing' schools are often not that amazing under the surface 💛

I work in an amazing school…. A wee side note - our library lights are motion activated - the library would be dark if no-one had been in for 5 minutes….

Here we go…. Gaza comments!
I take it you are over there handing out aid?

doubtful.

im allowed to feel sad!
im allowed to feel disappointed!

and I’m allowed to not give a crap about your stupid comment.

see ya.

@Itsallaboutme2021 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Honestly, people are so rude!!! I got exactly the same type of responses when I posted how upset I was to not get our first choice (we got 3rd)
As you can see from my earlier post, it worked out in the end via the waitlist but I posted on here hoping to get positive stories and not to be told to ‘calm down’ and I needed to get a grip!!
Try not to worry, I’m sure you will get a place at your preferred school 😊

Thank you. I’m better today it was just a shock. I’ve found out today that out of just over 2000 applications nationally there was only 9 family’s who got their 3rd choice…. That’s crazy! I just feel disappointed but I know our DD will be fine. Thank you so much. The positive comments have really helped me.

Glad you’re feeling better but there’s something wrong with your stats here?

@Itsallaboutme2021 - we were the same with regards to the stats, we were the only ones who didn’t get our first choice initially in the county!!
which is why you have a high chance of getting in via the waiting list
our waitlist position wasn’t available until May in our area which I think is a good thing as I was fixated on it 🤣
I had come around to the idea of the school we were allocated and had met the teachers and done the paperwork and then I got a call!
Take no notice of the rude and unhelpful comments

hi Op.

Firstly it's natural to worry about a huge thing like where your child goes to school.

secondly - you should remember that the reason very few families got their third choice school is because most people will have put a 'realistic' choice first - ie. their local school.

We have an illusion of choice at primary ! You don't really get to choose - you get your nearest school in most cases. You would only get an out of catchment school if it was so unpopular the people nearest it didn't want it! So very few people would choose it.

I can tell you there are HUGe benefits firstly to going to your nearest school and secondly to a more diverse school.

I lived on the same road as our primary and just made so many great friends - and playdates/ helping other parents out is just so much easier. If you are sick and can't walk your kid to school - there will be a parent on your road who will help out. etc.

We then moved and couldn't fit into the nearest primary and I really noticed how much harder it was to get to know our neighbours because we were not in the local primary.

however, the bonus this time was we got the more diverse school - and I think children learn so much from being in an environment with different families and children

All you can do is take it and if you are not happy after reception year - look to move. But give it a chance.

I know so dramatic….. that feeling of devastation and being so traumatised is so real right now.

🤷🏼‍♀️

Go on!??

Possibly because quite a lot put the school that they were in catchment for?

if the first 3 are further away I can’t see how you have any grounds for appeal. By all means waitlist but other than that school 3 is your closest school (and that is a huge factor in a positive school experience).

the strange thing is we can never know what the best school for our children are. We loved into our street for a Primary neither of mine went to and a single sexed boy high school DS has not gone to (but weirdly DD will in September).

this is it - most people would look at catchment and put the nearest school first. that's why most people don't get their third choice.

btw the gaza comments are just pointless and rude - this entire site would be shut down if people had to have worse problems than people in gaza.

My children went to a school without green space (London). They used the park around the corner and have really fond memories of the excitement in summer when they were taken to have their packed lunches on the field on hot days. It honestly has not affected them at all.

I know how you feel and you are allowed to feel how you do. My son didn’t get his first choice secondary and he was upset and I was devastated at the time. He didn’t get his first choice for 6th form either and he was gutted at the time, but he got his first choice of uni and is just coming towards the end of his 3rd year. It all turns out okay in the end OP.

Don’t underestimate being able to walk to school. I live in a large village with a couple of schools and the traffic and parking is hell!

Make sure you understand the process for getting on a waiting list.

2000 applications nationally? For school places? There must be more than 2000 kids due to start reception?

Obviously way more than 2000 families applied nationally!

Numbers are falling, but Gov.uk gives these stats for last year.
555,600 applications were received for a place at primary school in 2024 (2024/25 academic year)

This year.
Almost all children in London who are due to start primary school in September have been offered a place in one of their preferred schools.
Out of a total of 80,706, 96.6% of pupils were offered a place at one of their top three preferences of primary school, according to London Councils.

I'm not a parent but I live in London where you often see primary children using local parks and I think it makes them better citizens. Ditto being educated in a more multi-cultural environment!

Cheer up. Your child can WALk to school. That is so great.

The cons are not so bad.
Remember, the school is already better than when you saw it last because .. your daughter will be enrolled and you will be active, constructive and involved parents and help all children get the most out of their education there.

Be the best parents you can be in supporting your child's homework, volunteering for classroom chores and participating in fund raising for important improvements, camps etc. for the school.

Due to being so close to school your child will be less tired from travelling to school. She will be able to enjoy clubs and extra curriculum activities without feeling so weary.

Sorry to hear about your disappointment OP. I think some posters have been rather harsh. I am sure that you know full well that not getting a place at your preferred school is not the end of the world or analogous to living in a war zone but I also think most of us have had experiences in life where something feels like total disaster and our initial emotional reaction is strong. I hope you're feeling better today.
Try to focus on the positives of the school you've been offered. It might not be the place you imagined your child attending but it does sound like a decent school with lots of positive attributes and in time you may indeed come to prefer it to your first preference. I think it's perfectly natural to feel sad about not getting something you'd really been hoping for though.
You're not the only one to be feeling like this at the moment I'm sure. And if you check out the Secondary and Higher Education pages at the right time you'll find parents who are distraught that their children haven't got into their preferred secondary or have had University applications rejected too. These things are rarely as bad as they seem at the time but when you're in that moment it's hard to see that. And you are allowed to feel upset! Just try not to let it dominate your thoughts too much or for too long, and try not to let your child realise that you're disappointed. It's a stressful time but also an exciting one. I hope your little one loves their new school and that everything turns out well.

We had a birth year of 2034, so give and take a few that might of deferred kids from the previous year and then same for this year, give and take.
so yeah around 2000 applications for school?

Sorry this is a regional thing. My figures.

@Itsallaboutme2021

It’s hard to get above average results so they are obviously doing something right. It’s walking distance. I would go back for another visit as it sounds like it will be fine. Not having to drive there is a huge bonus.

Sorry my bad… regionally. My region only. North Somerset.

I know you've heard this a lot but it would 100% have been my first choice as it's walking distance. That is so, so nice and will benefit your child in so many ways. She'll have local friends and when she's old enough, she'll be able to walk herself to school and to her friends' houses. The physical environment isn't as important as the other people in the space with her so I'd go again with an open mind and find some more reasons to be excited about this for her.