Would you judge someone for choosing to have a c section?

[ProudOtter]

I’m just curious as to why you would judge someone for choosing to have an elective c section?

For background I’ve decided I’d like to ask for a c section for baby number 2. Some people have made comments about me being insane, or that I’m missing out of giving birth “properly”

I am curious as to why some people have this view.

My first born was semi elective c section, was rushed into an induction due to minor fetal distress and escalated a bit so had to choice to attempt vaginal birth or go for a C-section and I chose the c section. Positive experience and no regrets.

I’m glad you changed your mind, thank you for your honesty!

Baffling to me why anyone would care about or judge anyone for how anyone else gives birth (ok, fine, except for people having “orgasmic births”, I’m judging them hard).

Also, what’s all this about “missing out” on giving birth properly?? Missing out on what?? The unbearable agony of labour? The vaginal tearing? The incontinence? The pooing during delivery?

I had a vaginal birth all the same, and probably will again, mainly because I think the recovery will be a little easier, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with elective c-section.

I don't care and wouldn't judge for other women having a CS. Do get a bit pissed off when people were full of judgement when I REFUSED one though

Literal fact. Elective c section carries the least risks.

I was only in for 24 - 36 hours with my first two sections. Different hospitals but both put section mums in 2 bed bays.

My 3rd was in 2020. Peak Covid. I shit you not, my daughter was born at 9.30 pm and by 9:30 am the next morning, I was in my own bed at home, fucking fuming as I really like hospital food and I’d already chosen an excellent lunch and dinner for the day which I was very much looking forward to.

8 hours after she was born, they brought round the discharge paperwork. I’d only just begun to feel my legs, I thought they were joking.

Zero judgement, in fact it’s not something I’ve ever thought about so can’t say ‘zero judgement’ is even a judgement

I’ve given birth twice vaginally and sadly my only memories of both are begging for pain relief, vomiting, shitting myself and wondering if I was dying.

No happy memories whatsoever until the babies were put in my arms and I was pleasantly surprised to see they weren’t damaged.

I don’t have children but if I did I would have definitely been too posh to push. I wouldn’t judge at all.

Genuine question - if there’s no medical need for an epidural, should a woman pay for the cost of that too if she chooses to have one due to the pain?

I've had c-sections, vaginal births and an induction. I've breastfed, exclusively expressed, mix fed and formula fed.

Nobody will get any judgement from me.

I do wonder to myself a bit when people choose an elective because of feeling in control, picking the date or avoiding pain because that wasn't my experience at all with a c-section. But I wouldn't judge or comment unless someone asked my opinion.

I was judged for not breastfeeding my son by a Dr when he was 6 years old. He physically couldn't and I was advised to not even bother trying (as it happens I did try once because I was upset at not being "allowed to" and a lovely midwife said he was my baby and if I wanted to give it a try I should as long as I was giving him feeds as well) but apparently I should have tried harder.

Hi I think you do whatever you want and if anyone asks you can say it’s for medical reasons. You don’t need to elaborate.

Also, absolutely no judgement! There is no easy option. The c section recovery is so much more than for a straightforward vaginal birth. I have had two births with just gas and air and the pain was so intense and awful but the recovery after was really quick.

I can’t remember which comedian it was, but someone had said to her ‘oh you’re having the easy option having the baby coming out of the sunroof’ and she said back ‘yes out of a car with no sunroof’ and that’s the point! It’s abdominal surgery.

Where have you got that from? The one study from Canada that’s been repeated throughout the thread?

The “literal facts” are that the safest birth method is not a general thing. What is safest for you might be different to what is safest for me. What is safest for me, might be different to what is safest for my baby.

Both vaginal and c section births are considered very safe in the UK. Neither is superior in any significant way. Both come with their own risks and benefits to mother and baby!

I’m a one and done mum (would have loved a second, but wasn’t to be). My only birth experience was an “emergency” c section (waters broke, nothing happened, gas & air, pethidine, epidural, 12 hours on hormone drip). C section agreed and my god I was so happy about that (massively anxious about giving birth for various reasons but too scared to ask for a section). It was great. I was v v lucky in recovery I didn’t need anything other than paracetamol & ibuprofen. Friends who’ve had c sections didn’t recover so easily, but often quicker recovery than “natural” birth.

In all cases, literally no one gives a shit how you gave birth in the end, all they want to know is what did the baby weigh, are they sleeping through, can I have a cuddle etc.

Anyone who judges your choices is not worth entertaining.

Do what’s best for you and for your baby.

No. I would never judge how someone gives birth as long as if results in a healthy live baby.

Sort of, in that I really didn't want a C-section, so choosing one seems weird to me. But not in a "that's a bad choice for everyone" kind of way.

Why do you even tell people how you are giving birth? It’s none of their business.
I had a maternal request c-section and knew the date from 18 weeks but didn’t tell anyone anything until the baby was born.

Why is it more common or why is it frightening?
More common because the c section rate has climbed so drastically. Obviously not all because of maternal choice. Largely by obstetric complexities leading to more intervention. Fear of litigation is a big one too. Huge topic full of intricacies really.
Frightening because PAS is so dangerous, many cases life threatening.

They aren't easy but after having a C- section and then a VBAC I found the C-section alot easier 😬 maybe that's just me though and I wouldn't judge someone else for making a different choice 🤷‍♀️ I am glad I had a VBAC for me though. My C-section was planned so I'm sure that made a massive difference as well.

Major surgery cutting through SEVEN layers... then no bed rest, get up and care for that newborn. Sounds like a breeze.

But a poor man has the snip and needs 2 days bedrest. But they aren't called a 'wuss' or any other cruel name.

It is no one's business why you choose whatever route you do to get your baby here safely, and to make sure you are in the best position possible to care for that baby.

The negative remarks around c sections astound me as they are not an easy way out. The women who make those who have c sections feel less than by their awful remarks are another example of how some women do not raise women up, they are too busy tearing other's down during one of the most vulnerable times in a woman's life.

Do what is best for you!

It's hard to differentiate correlation and causation with this one. Older mothers are more likely to have c sections (for multiple reasons) therefore become higher risk for PAS in future pregnancies. Does age itself cause PAS? Probably not entirely. There's some thought into poorer wound healing and scar tissue formation in older women. So in that case having had a c section and being older may mean age is a contributing factor. But is it just that older mothers have probably had more procedures to cause scarring and c sections to begin with.. more likely.

For who? Mum or baby?
and less risk of what? Any adverse outcome or death?

I wouldn’t judge and I think this thread shows the vast majority of women wouldn’t either. There’s always one, but honestly who cares….

I had a lengthy vaginal delivery with gas and air, and no other pain relief. The truth is I’m jealous of women who do this and find it an empowering experience. I had nightmares about the pain and fear for years afterwards. I felt I wasn’t treated kindly by the people who were supposed to look after me and my baby and that the choices made by medics weren’t the right ones for me. I don’t know what it would have been like to have a C-section but I know I would love to have had an experience I could look back on and feel positive about, and I respect any choice that offers a new mum that privilege.

Good luck with your birth and new baby. I wish you all the best.

@MumofSpud genuine question - why judge her exactly? Genuinely, what exactly did you think is wrong with a c section?

This is so true and I think there’s a lot of exaggerated misinformation both sides of the coin. I have friends who’ve had c sections and I think it’s mind blowing how tiny and low down the scars actually are considering they managed to get a baby out of there! Like you said, stomachs change with pregnancy anyway so how you birth may not make any difference to it… the term ‘mummy ledge’ is horrible.

I’ve had two vaginal births and sex still feels exactly the same to both me and my husband and I have no incontinence issues (but apparently c section wouldn’t necessarily save you from this as it’s pregnancy itself that puts strain on that area).

I would never judge how someone births but I wouldn’t want anyone to choose their birth option purely based on appearance based misinformation. I did believe that your vagina would be ‘looser’ after giving birth just from playground type insults you hear growing up so I was pleased to find that wasn’t the case at all. 😂 Same to anyone not wanting to ‘ruin’ their tummy with a c section. Let’s just focus on having healthy babies however that looks for each of us 🙏🏼❤️

Is it not? That was my experience, and I didn't specifically request it other than saying I wanted skin to skin, which I think most women do nowadays.

The only one of my 3 not to be placed on my chest for skin to skin contact was my Vbac who was taken away to be resuscitated - and my eldest is 23 so it’s not rare!