Would you judge someone for choosing to have a c section?

[ProudOtter]

I’m just curious as to why you would judge someone for choosing to have an elective c section?

For background I’ve decided I’d like to ask for a c section for baby number 2. Some people have made comments about me being insane, or that I’m missing out of giving birth “properly”

I am curious as to why some people have this view.

My first born was semi elective c section, was rushed into an induction due to minor fetal distress and escalated a bit so had to choice to attempt vaginal birth or go for a C-section and I chose the c section. Positive experience and no regrets.

Nope. While my baby is in my body, my body and my choice over that body comes first.

Only if women also have to pay for other birth choices which are medically unnecessary such as home births.

Tragic outcomes for baby by planned section are MUCH rarer than for vaginal birth
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I had my first section for medical reasons and this summer will have my second. After my first i was kept in the high dependant unit the first night which was next to the labour ward and the things I heard those poor women go through were awful. I'd never judge anyone for choosing a section for what ever reason, even fear of pain because natural childbirth sounds pretty traumatic

And pay for pain relief!

I got judged by a waitress of all people. I was heavily pregnant, having a lovely time at a restaurant, waitress for some reason thought to ask me if I am giving birth "normally" (she was British so English was not an issue). And then proceeded to interrogate me as to why I am planning on having a c section. Needless to say she didn't get a tip.

Out of all my friends:

• 4 had disastrous vaginal births (all babies fine, but all women left with horrible injuries and were definitely in more pain than I was after my section)
• 1 had a normal vaginal birth, all good
• 3 of us had C sections and we all said we'd take the C section again.

I think the fact that we are all late 30s makes a difference too. I imagine if you're a fit 21 year old you're more likely to give birth naturally without horrible long term consequences.

Now I'm still breastfeeding my 8 month old and getting judged for that!!! Can't win.

Are they? According to?
and what about just sub optimal results, like milk delayed so first time mum gives up on breastfeeding? Or baby denied prolonged skin to skin due to being in operating theatre.

I’ve been asked my view and I’ve given it: I suspect i’m not alone in my view but there we go OP. You asked…

I'm yet to have this conversation with consultant but leaning towards this as I am 40. IVF miracle baby after loss. I have a few health conditions and we've had a really rough ride to get here. (Nearly 17 weeks) I feel I would rather have a planned section and know exactly what was happening than have an indiction (v likely with my conditions/history) baby not be ready to come and end up with a crash section.

Very weird that you are being judged for breastfeeding an 8 month old - that's well within the normal age you'd expect a child to breastfeed.

You're right that you can't win and you have to do what's right for you. It's literally no one else's business and I can't believe a waitress asked you such a personal question.

By that reasoning, shouldn't women also pay the excessive cost of repairing/treating the damage to mother/child when a vaginal birth goes wrong? Including the long term consequences of things like brain damage? Operations to repair prolapses etc? I think you'll find that adds up to quite a lot more than the extra cost of elective CSs.

My section babies were placed on my chest immediately after being lifted out. They were then briefly weighed and checked and then put back on my chest, naked, bar a nappy and a hat under my gown and there they stayed for hours, until I was tired and asked for them to be bundled up and put in the bedside crib.

Everyone knew that was what I wanted and it happened.

No

Does that go forcwomeb that smoke, drink and take drugs too? Their body their choice?

I literally feel hot woth anger at this mentality. My babies ALWAYS come first.

The choice is always 1. Safest medical option 2. Best for baby.

This barely costs the NHS anything, as they just pretend nothing has happened, and provide minimal follow up care!

Superb. But that’s not the norm.

I don’t give a shit if someone wants to smoke crack. Not my baby, not my problem.

I make choices over my body.

Maybe have a cup of sweet tea to help you calm down?

I honestly don’t think many women are told they can request it.

For an elective c-section? Why wouldn't it be? Especially if it's what the mother wants.

It was my experience too.

No I wouldnt care what anyone else did. Particularly that you had a c section the first time. I’d probably caution a first timer that a c section isn’t a walk in the park, but never judge them for their choice.

Of course it does.

Some mothers drink and smoke during pregnancy all of the time. It wouldn't be a choice I would make but there's also a reason why it isn't illegal, it's her body and her choice.

Even before I got pregnant, I knew I wanted a c-section, since I was terrified of giving birth vaginally.

In the end I had twins, who were breach/transverse, so I had to have a c-section.

The consultant kept telling me it was medically necessary - I think he was saying it so I could use his advice to stave off judgy comments.
I didn’t care - happily told people I’d have chosen a c-section even if they weren’t breach.

And the c-section was a lovely calm, pain-free process. Recovery only took a few days.

I’m a doctor and a middle aged surgical consultant nicknamed me “too posh to push” because I have a Surrey accent (we were working elsewhere in the UK). I was single and no kids on the horizon at that time. He was a complete twat incase that’s not obvious.

Depressing that that mentality exists even in the medical world.

I did end up having an emergency c section 5 years after my delightful “nickname” and next week I’m having an elective c section - very happy with my choice.

I would not judge. I might however, ask further questions. Like why? Just because.

Birth is such an interesting topic to me. I have had 3 c-section and 1 vbac. One c-section was done under general anesthesia. Every birth is different, just like you get a new child, the births are all different. I hope you get a healing (emotionally) and joyful birth.

Are you charging extra for epidurals then? Home births? Water births?