Would you judge someone for choosing to have a c section?

[ProudOtter]

I’m just curious as to why you would judge someone for choosing to have an elective c section?

For background I’ve decided I’d like to ask for a c section for baby number 2. Some people have made comments about me being insane, or that I’m missing out of giving birth “properly”

I am curious as to why some people have this view.

My first born was semi elective c section, was rushed into an induction due to minor fetal distress and escalated a bit so had to choice to attempt vaginal birth or go for a C-section and I chose the c section. Positive experience and no regrets.

I had a planned C-section because my baby was breech and I was FUCKING thrilled. I can thoroughly recommend it.

Yes. Isn't that great? That there are times in medical settings when womens choices are actually listened to 🙌

Yes.

Yes. Thank god we can chose what to do with our own bodies these days.

I had to fight tooth and nail and even see a psychiatrist (who thought it was a waste of everyone’s time) before I was allowed to give birth the way I wanted to, by elective section, for my first 23 years ago.

C sections are tough! I should know. I've had two. They are major surgery and the recovery is extremely painful. I would not judge anyone for having one. I just think 'thank fuck I don't have to do one again!'

no. absolutely not.

My friend’s child is brain damaged and has serious learning difficulties due to being deprived of oxygen at birth. Vaginal birth isn’t risk free.

Yes you can, the process in our area is to speak to your midwife and they put you in touch with a consultant who will go through the risks associated.

There will always be some idiots who judge, but it really doesn't matter. I had a maternal choice C-section and it was the best decision for me. Absolutely nobody else's business. I haven't actually had any negative comments about it, but if I ever do I won't be giving them a second thought.

Life is exhausting.

Judging people for their medical choices, just… how did we get to this point.

I really resent the whole ‘too posh to push’ narrative, which entirely failed to acknowledge that people have c sections for good medical reason, and a lot of women opting for them for second births are because their first was so catastrophically managed by the NHS they’re permanently traumatised (or physically damaged) by it.

Never said it was. As I explained earlier there will always be tragic outcomes with either route. But I’m not talking anecdotally. Average baby.

thank you. I have already posted "not my vadge not my business" and I do get the funding issues but I find it quite positive that the NHS is supporting women to make some of their own choices.

I’ve had judgy comments but I don’t care.
I had one, elective in that it was planned rather than emergency, but for a breech twin pregnancy
so for medical reasons.

I find it really odd when you see men celebrating their wives giving birth with no pain relief like it’s a badge of honour.

yes that was my thought too

Also - criticising women who want a c section because they’re ’scared of pain’.

Birth is the only medical scenario I can think of where women are made to feel bad for using pain relief. And - often have difficulty accessing pain relief, or the medics leave it until it’s out of control before agreeing to intervene.

Is it any wonder people are frightened of that situation? Every other woman I know has a story about being refused pain relief during birth.

Its better for the baby to be born vaginally (where safe) . It improves immunity, exposes thrm to hormone release which improves breastfeeding and they are born in flexion rather than extension.

Baby comes first.

No. It is not my place to judge anybody for how they decide to give birth.

'Yes this is a big thing still, woman calling others c sections the easy way out.'

There are some people that you just shouldn't listen to or take seriously and this is an example of that.

I don't think a c section is easy at all, but even if you did want an 'easy way' to give birth, what on earth is wrong with that? Birth is a massive ordeal on the body. These people need to get off their high horses about this and mind their own business.

I also think you should pay for the excess costs of elective caesarian where not medically indicated.

Oh god, the “WE don’t want/didn’t have any pain relief” dickhead men. I’ve met a few in my time.

The day a man, or anyone else, has any say over my body or what pain medication I chose to have, will be a cold day in hell.

I don’t know how some women put up with it.

I’ve had 3 vaginal births, 2 in water, 1 at home and I honestly couldn’t give a shiny shit how someone else gives birth. I care that you felt safe & well cared for, I don’t care or judge you if your baby was born via caesarean. Some people are just dicks.

Again, you are stating this as fact but do you have a source for this? The vast majority of research does not compare like for like because they include both elective and emergency c-sections. This study was posted earlier by another poster, for example, which finds the opposite of what you are suggesting:

‘In 2021, a team of Canadian researchers found a hospital database in Ontario that, unusually, had logged MRCs (maternal request C sections). This allowed them to compare MRCs to other low-risk pregnancies where the plan, but not necessarily the outcome, was a vaginal birth.
The data shocked the study’s head author, Darine El-Chaâr, a perinatal researcher at the Ottawa hospital. In the planned vaginal birth group, there was a higher percentage of negative outcomes compared with the MRC group, driven by serious vaginal tears and babies admitted to intensive care. “I myself am challenged by the data,” she says, underlining that she believes vaginal birth is natural. “I wanted it to be the other way around.”

Your body your choice 💕

It's the woman's body. She doesn't just become an incubator with no feelings when she gets pregnant, her wants and needs matter too.

If she develops PPD because she was forced into a vaginal birth, that isn't going to be good for 'baby' either.

Pain in childbirth is almost fetishised. it’s fucking madness.

See also, a couple of paracetamol and “get up and get on with it” after a c section. Women are treated terribly.

I’ve had two babies, both of them maternal request with no medical need. Best decisions ever, and it felt like the calmest, safest option for me. I had wonderful births. The pain afterwards is no walk in the park, but I was pleased with my decision.

i haven’t felt that much judgement to be honest (or they haven’t said it to my face!!)