Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

[walliceandme]

Genuine question, getting married and want my bridemaids to all have the same hair - all of their hair is long so it'll be easy but one has a thick fringe and would it be rude if I asked her to have a hairstyle that clips it back? I want them all to have their hair like this but unsure how it'll work with a full fringe? AIBU?

Yes, YABVU. A friend asked me to grow my hair once for her wedding though so you’re not alone.

Whatever happened to just asking the bridesmaids what they think? I don't understand why you wouldn't just do that first instead of asking a lot of randoms on the internet. They should get a say in how they have their hair, nobody wants to be forced to a style they don't like or doesn't suit them, especially when they want to look their best too.

I paid at great expense, for my sister in law to be to have her hair styled. She didnt like it and washed it before the wedding! Silly cow! So then her hair looked worse, so be careful what you wish for!!!!

I don’t think that’s appropriate

This would be a total bridezilla request of you. Stop being so controlling and relax.

I know a woman like this. So controlling at the wedding. Then when pregnant. Fell out with all her family who got fed up.

Now she's fallen out with the very wealthy in-laws big style who incidentally own the very nice house in a very posh part of London that she, husband and children enjoy. The entitlement is off the scale.

Is this a wind up or a reverse?

What don't you understand Op?

I have had long hair without a fringe & long hair with a fringe & I styled it in the same way.

Eta.
I think I've misunderstood.

You want the hair styles to be exactly the same?

So that no one has a fringe?

Or alternatively ask the others to wear a false fringe??

I don't think you can ask her to do that. Presumably she has her fringe because she likes it like that. I guess it depends whether she always has it or regularly changes her hair anyway and it's a temporary thing. In any case, I think that hairstyle would work perfectly with a thick fringe - something like this? I think it'd also work fine if the fringe was less soft and more blunt. Just do the soft bun at the back and let the fringe do it's own thing.

If your paying you could suggest it and see how bridesmaid feels about it.

If you want them all to have a particular hairstyle then I think you need to pay for a hairdresser to do it you tell them what style you want and then expect them to do it themselvesI'm not sure what a thick fringe pinned back would look like though.
Personally I think it's best to let them decide themselves how they want their hair based on what they think suits them and makes them feel comfortable

If you're paying you can ask if they are happy to have it the same. I paid and just let mine choose. I always think bridesmaids with the exact same hair with the same dress looks a bit daft personally

@walliceandme r u really a bridezilla???

Such a rude request but brides these days seem to think they can dictate their bridesmaids every move and thought so I guess go for it if you don’t care much for the friendship? I can’t imagine how you’d say to her face that she should pin her fringe back basically for your “aesthetic” without her feeling like you obviously think negatively about how she looks. Personally it would make me self conscious to not have a fringe and I’d probably say if I need to alter my entire look to suit your wedding then I’d rather not be a bridesmaid, it’s all just way too self absorbed and high pressure.

If you’ve got different dresses why does it matter if someone has a fringe or not?

Well, you can ask....but any bride who asked me to clip my fringe back would find herself a bridesmaid short.

I used to have a very thick fringe and the skin underneath was terrible. I would’ve been very upset and self conscious if you asked, so tread carefully here and ask at your own risk!

Everyone’s kicking off at the OP, but my bride is asking us all to have the same hairstyle by the hairstylist - and getting us to pay for it!!

Other than the fringe clipping I don’t think it’s abnormal to tell your bridesmaids how you’d like their hair to be. It definitely does not make you a bridezilla!

When I was a bridesmaid the bride gave us two options and we went from there. Easy peasy.

Her normal hairstyle.

You don't have to agree to it....

I really think the desire to control every little aspect will take away the enjoyment of what essentially is your day. You need to chill.

1000%

You don’t have to do it though do you ?

Nope!

I think your bridesmaids would prefer to choose their own styles. I doubt there is going to be a style that jointly suits them all. Realistically you sound very controlling. i am glad I am not one of your bridesmaids! How would you feel if someone imposed that rule on you. I expect you would not like it. If I was your bridesmaid I would resign if you did that to me. You might find no one wants the task.