Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

[walliceandme]

Genuine question, getting married and want my bridemaids to all have the same hair - all of their hair is long so it'll be easy but one has a thick fringe and would it be rude if I asked her to have a hairstyle that clips it back? I want them all to have their hair like this but unsure how it'll work with a full fringe? AIBU?

sounds like a cult behavior to me, same hair? what about colour lol

I don’t think you can tell your bridesmaid to clip her fringe back. Does it really matter if they don’t all have the same exact hairstyle, just because they all have long hair, does not mean an undo would be suitable for all of them. My hair is long and thick (not as thick now I am older), but it would not stay up long in an updo.

Appreciate you would like some uniformity especially as they have different dresses, but could they all wear flowers/same hair comb/same hair clip etc. in their hair rather than exact hairstyle.

What is the fringe hiding though?

She might be like that teacher from Harry Potter who had Voldermort stashed on the back of his head, hidden under the turban. Nobody wants that on their wedding photos 😱

I’m getting married soon and I wouldn’t dream of doing this . They have the right to pick what they wish

Presumably you’re paying for a bridal hair stylist so ask them for advice. They will be able to find a style you like that works with a fringe.

Not RTWT but that hairstyle is awful! Looks like she has just got out of bed and shoved her hair in a band! I wouldn’t pay to have that done to my hair…🤷‍♀️

If you say that everyone is having a different dress then why do you want them to have homogenous hairdos? It's Stepford Wives territory to ask them to have the same hair do, you do get that don't you? Revel in the fact that you have lovely friends who want to spend time with you on your special day, and let them have their hair styled the way that they feel most comfortable with.

You are definitely being unreasonable. My friends and I (when we were in the phase of our life when there were lots of weddings) used to say that some weddings were a bit "bridesmaids' knickers". It was shorthand for a joke about saying that the bride had insisted that the colour of the bridesmaids' knickers matched the colour of the table napkins. "Bridesmaids' knickers" was not a complimentary thing to say about a wedding...

Bridezillas need to realise their bridesmaids are people and not Barbie dolls or mannequins that they can dress up.

If you are paying for the hairdresser, you can have the styling whatever way you want but this fringes, haircolour, lenght nonsense that some brides go on with is ridiculous, self indulgent nonsense.

You don't have the maturity to get married if this is a serious question.

No, you cannot police how another adult wears their hair, for any reason other than safety, and definitely not when they are doing you a favour by giving up their time to witness your wedding ceremony.

😂😂

But dahling, it will look odd on the 'gram.

Why don’t you allow your adult friends, whose personalities I’m assuming you like that much you want them to be your bridesmaids the respect to choose their own hairstyles? Don’t strip them of their individuality.

You’re overthinking

Why do you really want a cookie-cutter style for them?
Do you want them all to weigh the same?

Honest opinion - that style looks messy and untidy.
Your bridesmaids should have their hair styled so that it suits the shape their faces and their individual features.

This is all very OTT - maybe chill a bit?

So, basically, you're saying that BMs hair already looks shit!? Ouch...

YABU. Bridesmaids are people - real individuals with their own ideas, personalities, faces and hairstyles. Surely, you don't choose them on the basis of their appearance? You control what they wear (and most of them will be happy to oblige) but I think that should be the limit.

No you can't do that. My bridesmaids all had little fabric flowers in the same colour as their dresses in their hair (after I checked they all liked them) but they all chose how they wore their hair.

I have a thick fringe so I wouldn't be happy. It'd look silly with half a dozen pins holding it back and then sillier when random hairs breaking free.

Do you have a hairstylist that will be doing al ltheir hair or are they forking out themselves?
Becayse if it is the first one thr stylist will take care of it. Not sure why they would all need to have the same hairstyle anyways? Like with dresses not all hairstyles suit all people, she has the hairstyle she has because of reasons?

Get dolls if you want them to look the same.

Yes, you're being very controlling and unreasonable.

Are you really that much of a control freak that you think your bridesmaids should all have exactly the same hairstyle? Seriously? They're wearing different dresses so why are you being so controlling about their hair?

I don't think it's fair to ask them to make permanent changes to their appearance, and I don't think asking for a fringe to be clipped back is that bad.

However, presumably these people are your dear friends/family, not models hires for the day. In which case it would be kinder to take their views into account.

I let my bridesmaids choose different dresses and hairstyles because I thought the matchy matchy look was a bit naff on three very different women.