Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP has a throat Infection but I’m a c**t

143 replies

Mostaggrieved · 16/04/2025 06:35

Just been called a c**t. How lovely.

DP 43 hasn’t been well since Sunday, had sore throat and fever. Stayed in bed all day Sunday - our DD2 was just getting over a sickness so me and her popped over to my mums for a few hours to let him sleep.

Monday comes, I’m at work so arrange my mum to come to help as he’s still not well, I get home from work - DP off to bed I look after DD bathtime bed etc.

Tuesday, DD at nursery I’m on AL and he’s off. I get up with DD get ready fed and watered take to nursery. Get back DP asks me to make a GP appt so book it. He goes back to bed - I clear up do washing etc then take his lordship to the Doctors - throat infection. Pick up antibiotics bring him home make his soup whilst he groans through every mouthful. DP then back to bed (can I have a hot water bottle please, can I have a blanket please, can I have a cold bottle of water, can you go back and put some squash into it please)

finally goes to sleep - at this point it’s worth saying I have been up early and through the night for the past 3 weeks dealing with a sick and therefore stroppy toddler, working, studying. Also 5 months pregnant with a high risk pregnancy. DP also has a snoring issue so much so the neighbour has commented which has been exacerbated by sore throat, I decide I’m going to have a nap myself and take an hour before picking DD up from nursery, DP still in bed. Go and get daughter, come back.

DP still unable to move. Sitting on sofa in vegetative like state. Get DD bathed put her to bed which is an hour and a half of me lieing next to her staring at the ceiling until she drifts off. She’s asleep, cut her nails then put her into her bed.

Get up, come into front room - go to put toast on as starving. “Can you make me some toast please” yes okay make toast give it - then make my toast. I decide to call it a day get shower get into bed.

5am this morning my daughter has already clambered into our bed in middle of the night. DP gets up sulking saying he’s not well and DD is snoring (pot kettle) and goes to the sofa, Waking DD up. DD awake now and grumpy and also in front room - DP “oh please give it a rest I’m not well” DD scared of dark so upset about light - so DP walks back into bedroom “fine I’ll go back in the bedroom” tells me I’ll have to get up with DD.

I said “and who is the toddler in this situation”. He shouts back “I have a throat infection” I then say well sometimes you just have to get on with it don’t you like I have to, cast your mind back to amount of times I’ve been sick and your life goes on as normal and I just have to get on with it” then he shouts “oh fuck off you cunt I have a throat infection”. I said if you didn’t take the piss usually then it wouldn’t be so bad but you need to grow up.

I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic but this is now day 4 and it’s a bit boring. And I feel a bit taken the piss out off. Every day normally I get up get baby ready take her to nursery and go to work. Every day he gets up gets himself ready and goes to work. When I’m at work and he’s off I’m still expected to get up get ready get baby ready fed watered whilst he stays in bed until I’m literally walking out the door.

I’ve been sick multiple times due to whatever has been bought home from the nursery but life goes on! Me and DD now in the front room on episode 4 of peppa pig. I’m livid about calling me a cunt. He made a comment last night about the hoovering (as I’d had my first nap in about 2 years on my day off, just got over a sick toddler and now another one, also as I said 5 months pregnant) and he’s unable to move any part of his body. Considering hoovering the bedroom right this very second seeing as it’s as urgent as he made out. The tumble dryer could also do with going on.

I just know this is now what I have to deal with the entire day on top of my DD who is going to be overtired from 11am due to being woken up by my 43 year old DPs tantrum. (She refuses to nap)

OP posts:
Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 13:25

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 16/04/2025 13:13

So she made him do it and she should shut up and put up?

Whatever floats your (sinking)boat mate, but stop trying to take other women down with you.

Not quite how I put it!
its a forum and OP asked for opinions- I gave mine which is just as valid as everyone else’s. Personally me and DH are the happiest couple we know, and we don’t have those endless exhausting arguments over ‘mental load’ housework and childcare.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/04/2025 13:29

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 13:25

Not quite how I put it!
its a forum and OP asked for opinions- I gave mine which is just as valid as everyone else’s. Personally me and DH are the happiest couple we know, and we don’t have those endless exhausting arguments over ‘mental load’ housework and childcare.

That’s crap though really. You think you are the happiest couple you no, and if he name calls you just let him get it out of his system and don’t take offence… happy couples don’t ’name call’ their partners. Your relationship is more twisted than you think. It’s fine that you are happy with that but it doesn’t mean you’ve cracked the code for how everyone can be happy, it just means you are happy to take his shit like a good little wifey.

whathaveiforgotten · 16/04/2025 18:25

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 13:25

Not quite how I put it!
its a forum and OP asked for opinions- I gave mine which is just as valid as everyone else’s. Personally me and DH are the happiest couple we know, and we don’t have those endless exhausting arguments over ‘mental load’ housework and childcare.

You’re the happiest couple you know but he’s called you names? My partner has never called me a name, ever. And we’ve been together for years and years. Your peers must have terribly unhappy marriages if yours is the happiest one!

I’m sorry that your partner does call you names, genuinely. It’s not normal in a healthy relationship. I hope there are no children growing up in the house being taught that men are entitled to be unkind and women should simply tolerate it.

Hopefully one day you will be happier than tolerating being called names by someone it sounds like you feel you’ve dedicated your whole life to.

Sameoldsameoldsame · 17/04/2025 08:28

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 13:07

Of course! Obviously it’s not ideal but it’s just a word said in a moment of anger over not feeling cared for.
I find the best way of dealing with any name calling is just to let DH get it out of his system and let it wash over me. No point in getting upset over it as it just makes life harder!

Wow.

It feels like you think the poor man has no control and so allowances need to be made for the poor thing. No standard of behaviour is too low.

Sameoldsameoldsame · 17/04/2025 08:32

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 13:07

Of course! Obviously it’s not ideal but it’s just a word said in a moment of anger over not feeling cared for.
I find the best way of dealing with any name calling is just to let DH get it out of his system and let it wash over me. No point in getting upset over it as it just makes life harder!

Are you Andrew Tate?

C152 · 17/04/2025 09:17

What do you want to do, OP? I mean, clearly you'd like him to change, but that's not going to happen. So what are you actually going to do next? Do you want two children plus a man baby? If you're happy to live that life, that's fine, crack on. If not, I'd be thinking about leaving before the second baby is born.

BusyMum47 · 17/04/2025 09:42

I'm sorry @Mostaggrieved but I have to ask why on earth you're having another baby with this overgrown man-child who you know full well is a massive useless twat?!

Regardless of any circumstances, there is no way in hell that I could ever get past my partner calling me a c**t. No. Way.

I'd be cutting my losses & planning my escape - it'd be easier without him - otherwise you have 3 kids to deal with, rather than 2.

Pussycat22 · 20/04/2025 10:39

TheBuffetInspector · 16/04/2025 08:55

Hero doesn't start with a c and end with a t.

Just in case your keyboard is broken.

What are you talking about eh? I'd be exactly what he called me , a c**t !!! Just to make it clear to you!!

whathaveiforgotten · 20/04/2025 10:45

@Pussycat22

That poster was saying that if you got rid of him after he called you that then you’d be a hero 💪🏻

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 20/04/2025 10:58

What are his good points? Are you sure you wouldn’t be better off without him?

Starling7 · 20/04/2025 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pussycat22 · 21/04/2025 23:39

whathaveiforgotten · 20/04/2025 10:45

@Pussycat22

That poster was saying that if you got rid of him after he called you that then you’d be a hero 💪🏻

It was the keyboard allusion that was responding to.

TheBuffetInspector · 24/04/2025 11:47

Pussycat22 · 20/04/2025 10:39

What are you talking about eh? I'd be exactly what he called me , a c**t !!! Just to make it clear to you!!

I was calling you a hero for getting rid of a cunt.

I'm now doubting my reasoning.

TheBuffetInspector · 24/04/2025 11:49

But yes, it didn't make any sense, so I accept your angry comeback.

TheBuffetInspector · 24/04/2025 11:51

whathaveiforgotten · 20/04/2025 10:45

@Pussycat22

That poster was saying that if you got rid of him after he called you that then you’d be a hero 💪🏻

This.

The keyboard thing was a joke. It must be broken as it should be spelling H..O

At least somebody understood 🤣

PinkyFlamingo · 24/04/2025 12:04

You are with a complete arse so this behaviour should come as no suprise to you. And yet you decided to bring another child into the mix and you will "get him told". Clearly he won't listen.

Maplesy10 · 24/04/2025 13:00

Kitchensnails · 16/04/2025 06:54

Its bewildering isn't it why women would choose to have children with such horrible pathetic men.

I know. Its so sad.
I cannot imagine my grief if I knew my precious daughters were with such low class lazy scum.

He sounds abusive to me.
But men don't speak like that to women in healthy respectful relationship.

I hope OP tells her family and friends what a nasty waster she is with.

I really pity your child growing up around him.

BitOutOfPractice · 24/04/2025 13:35

The first time anyone said “fuck off you cunt” to me would be the last time they spoke to me.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread