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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP has a throat Infection but I’m a c**t

143 replies

Mostaggrieved · 16/04/2025 06:35

Just been called a c**t. How lovely.

DP 43 hasn’t been well since Sunday, had sore throat and fever. Stayed in bed all day Sunday - our DD2 was just getting over a sickness so me and her popped over to my mums for a few hours to let him sleep.

Monday comes, I’m at work so arrange my mum to come to help as he’s still not well, I get home from work - DP off to bed I look after DD bathtime bed etc.

Tuesday, DD at nursery I’m on AL and he’s off. I get up with DD get ready fed and watered take to nursery. Get back DP asks me to make a GP appt so book it. He goes back to bed - I clear up do washing etc then take his lordship to the Doctors - throat infection. Pick up antibiotics bring him home make his soup whilst he groans through every mouthful. DP then back to bed (can I have a hot water bottle please, can I have a blanket please, can I have a cold bottle of water, can you go back and put some squash into it please)

finally goes to sleep - at this point it’s worth saying I have been up early and through the night for the past 3 weeks dealing with a sick and therefore stroppy toddler, working, studying. Also 5 months pregnant with a high risk pregnancy. DP also has a snoring issue so much so the neighbour has commented which has been exacerbated by sore throat, I decide I’m going to have a nap myself and take an hour before picking DD up from nursery, DP still in bed. Go and get daughter, come back.

DP still unable to move. Sitting on sofa in vegetative like state. Get DD bathed put her to bed which is an hour and a half of me lieing next to her staring at the ceiling until she drifts off. She’s asleep, cut her nails then put her into her bed.

Get up, come into front room - go to put toast on as starving. “Can you make me some toast please” yes okay make toast give it - then make my toast. I decide to call it a day get shower get into bed.

5am this morning my daughter has already clambered into our bed in middle of the night. DP gets up sulking saying he’s not well and DD is snoring (pot kettle) and goes to the sofa, Waking DD up. DD awake now and grumpy and also in front room - DP “oh please give it a rest I’m not well” DD scared of dark so upset about light - so DP walks back into bedroom “fine I’ll go back in the bedroom” tells me I’ll have to get up with DD.

I said “and who is the toddler in this situation”. He shouts back “I have a throat infection” I then say well sometimes you just have to get on with it don’t you like I have to, cast your mind back to amount of times I’ve been sick and your life goes on as normal and I just have to get on with it” then he shouts “oh fuck off you cunt I have a throat infection”. I said if you didn’t take the piss usually then it wouldn’t be so bad but you need to grow up.

I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic but this is now day 4 and it’s a bit boring. And I feel a bit taken the piss out off. Every day normally I get up get baby ready take her to nursery and go to work. Every day he gets up gets himself ready and goes to work. When I’m at work and he’s off I’m still expected to get up get ready get baby ready fed watered whilst he stays in bed until I’m literally walking out the door.

I’ve been sick multiple times due to whatever has been bought home from the nursery but life goes on! Me and DD now in the front room on episode 4 of peppa pig. I’m livid about calling me a cunt. He made a comment last night about the hoovering (as I’d had my first nap in about 2 years on my day off, just got over a sick toddler and now another one, also as I said 5 months pregnant) and he’s unable to move any part of his body. Considering hoovering the bedroom right this very second seeing as it’s as urgent as he made out. The tumble dryer could also do with going on.

I just know this is now what I have to deal with the entire day on top of my DD who is going to be overtired from 11am due to being woken up by my 43 year old DPs tantrum. (She refuses to nap)

OP posts:
YourWildAmberSloth · 16/04/2025 09:47

YourWildAmberSloth · 16/04/2025 09:22

I read it as 3 children, which is even worst!

Because OP mentions DD and DD2, then says she's 5 months pregnant. Either way, it doesn't bode well.

ConnieSlow · 16/04/2025 09:47

Panfish · 16/04/2025 09:18

He was a total nightmare when DD was born he could not handle the 2 hour wakes.

and you thought… let’s go for another!!

I really have no sympathy for women like these.

AmandaHoldensLips · 16/04/2025 09:49

Calling you a cunt is a deal-breaker.

We all know what kind of man speaks to his wife like that. And it's not good.

TalkToTheHand123 · 16/04/2025 09:50

Let him make his own toast. That will teach him.

Icanttakethisanymore · 16/04/2025 09:57

"if you didn’t take the piss usually then it wouldn’t be so bad"

This is the crux of the issue. Parents who 'do their fair share' get a pass when they are sick. Lazy bastards are naturally going to get less sympathy.

TheArcher · 16/04/2025 10:01

HowManyDucks · 16/04/2025 06:42

If it's anything like the virus we've just had I do sympathise - it is horrific. Most ill I've ever felt, could swallow, lost my voice coughing up bloody mucus.

That said, I'm a single mum and so carried on as normal. So am entirely on your side. He needs to take his meds and get on with it whilst you are both on the thick of it it with pregnancy/toddler hood.

Hope he feels better soon, for your sake!!

you carried on as normal
Thats exactly the point. He sounds like a child.

Summertimeblahness · 16/04/2025 10:18

His throat won’t get any better if he’s shouting.

springbringshope · 16/04/2025 10:30

When you say you won’t put up with it what do you actually mean. Because I don’t see him changing. He can’t see the problem he is. He thinks he’s fine. That view point isn’t going to change. At best he will behave better for a bit but he will revert because, and this sounds harsh, but he doesn’t love you. Or the dc. Maybe he’s not capable of loving. Don’t know don’t care. It is what it is

out if interest why did you decide to be with him and start a family

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 10:34

Men crave being looked after by their wives, especially when unwell. It must be difficult when you are working too, it will be easier when you are on maternity leave and you will be able to care for everyone and still have time for yourself.

TheArcher · 16/04/2025 10:47

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 10:34

Men crave being looked after by their wives, especially when unwell. It must be difficult when you are working too, it will be easier when you are on maternity leave and you will be able to care for everyone and still have time for yourself.

Well your username certainly checks out. My husband doesn’t crave to be looked after by me, he isn’t a child and I’m not his mum. What a weird idea.

Pigeonqueen · 16/04/2025 10:51

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 10:34

Men crave being looked after by their wives, especially when unwell. It must be difficult when you are working too, it will be easier when you are on maternity leave and you will be able to care for everyone and still have time for yourself.

Ha! Only if they’re overgrown toddlers.

BlondiePortz · 16/04/2025 10:53

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 10:34

Men crave being looked after by their wives, especially when unwell. It must be difficult when you are working too, it will be easier when you are on maternity leave and you will be able to care for everyone and still have time for yourself.

Say what now? Is this some ironic in joke i am only getting 10% of?

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 16/04/2025 10:55

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 10:34

Men crave being looked after by their wives, especially when unwell. It must be difficult when you are working too, it will be easier when you are on maternity leave and you will be able to care for everyone and still have time for yourself.

You spelled children wrong.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 16/04/2025 11:00

He's disgusting.

TheArcher · 16/04/2025 11:19

@Tradwife365 is clearly into adult babies 🤢

whathaveiforgotten · 16/04/2025 12:11

@Tradwife365

I reckon women crave not being called a cunt by their husbands. But what they want doesn’t matter as much because men are priority. Obviously.

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 12:11

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 16/04/2025 10:55

You spelled children wrong.

So you think a man working long hours and financially supporting his family wanting to be cared for when he’s home from a stressful day makes him a child?
You can’t fight biology!

LoveMeLoveMyDawg · 16/04/2025 12:16

No man has (or ever will😡) call me that!

So disrespectful. I have nursed 2 husbands through terminal cancer, saw them in dreadful pain, and neither ever spoke to me like that.

A throat infection certainly doesn’t allow him to speak to you like that, particularly if you’ve been running round after him. Disgusting.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 16/04/2025 12:17

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 12:11

So you think a man working long hours and financially supporting his family wanting to be cared for when he’s home from a stressful day makes him a child?
You can’t fight biology!

Yes.

You can fight stupidity, misogyny and outdated stereotypes though. Nothing to do with biology.

Ariel896 · 16/04/2025 12:20

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 12:11

So you think a man working long hours and financially supporting his family wanting to be cared for when he’s home from a stressful day makes him a child?
You can’t fight biology!

She’s also working!!!!!!!

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 12:51

Ariel896 · 16/04/2025 12:20

She’s also working!!!!!!!

I know that’s why I said in my post it must be very hard for her and she should think about cutting her hours down!

whathaveiforgotten · 16/04/2025 12:57

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 12:11

So you think a man working long hours and financially supporting his family wanting to be cared for when he’s home from a stressful day makes him a child?
You can’t fight biology!

Could you share your thoughts specifically on him calling his wife a cunt please? Curious to know what they are.

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 13:07

whathaveiforgotten · 16/04/2025 12:57

Could you share your thoughts specifically on him calling his wife a cunt please? Curious to know what they are.

Of course! Obviously it’s not ideal but it’s just a word said in a moment of anger over not feeling cared for.
I find the best way of dealing with any name calling is just to let DH get it out of his system and let it wash over me. No point in getting upset over it as it just makes life harder!

Ariel896 · 16/04/2025 13:08

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 13:07

Of course! Obviously it’s not ideal but it’s just a word said in a moment of anger over not feeling cared for.
I find the best way of dealing with any name calling is just to let DH get it out of his system and let it wash over me. No point in getting upset over it as it just makes life harder!

You sound really creepy. Like you follow Andrew Tate

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 16/04/2025 13:13

Tradwife365 · 16/04/2025 13:07

Of course! Obviously it’s not ideal but it’s just a word said in a moment of anger over not feeling cared for.
I find the best way of dealing with any name calling is just to let DH get it out of his system and let it wash over me. No point in getting upset over it as it just makes life harder!

So she made him do it and she should shut up and put up?

Whatever floats your (sinking)boat mate, but stop trying to take other women down with you.