To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

Expecting your colleagues to sponsor your kid is really weird. No one has ever done this at any of the places I've worked.

If you feel so bad put in more money yourself instead of judging others! Most people already support charities they care about and also have to fork out quite a bit for their own school aged children and the various fund raising they have to do! I would not bother contributing to this. A colleagues retirement is totally different and you cannot compare! I joined my job in july and when one of my colleagues from another team whom I had been introduced to as a buddy moved on in dec I paid £10. I had hardly been there 6 months but he was a helpful bloke and I wished him well. Some random colleagues kids nursery raising money for a charity, um no thank you! I would rather give directly.

Your child, you sponsor her. That is what most people do. Nothing to do with other people. I wouldn't dream of asking colleagues, or family, or friends.

There are a few things here.

Times are hard. People can’t afford it.

Some workplaces do this so often that people get donation fatigue ( “not another one!”).

Some people have their own charitable donations all set up (regular DDs to their favourite grittiest, or their church, etc) and can’t afford any more.

Some people will think you are a CF for asking - as others have said, this feels more like a family thing.

Be grateful to the colleagues who have supported, and for the love of all that is holy, quit the whining about those who haven’t. Just because you ask, doesn’t mean they have to give. It’s their money, not yours.

If you are so worried about looking inadequate as compared to the rest of your cohort, then you’ll have to stump up yourself.

You are being hugely unreasonable - charity is voluntary and you have zero right to expect or be annoyed at people for not sponsoring your daughters nursery egg hunt or whatever.

I hate this sort of thing, and wouldn’t donate if I didn’t want to. In the current financial climate too? Check yourself.

YABU. You need to have a good think why this has irked you.Your skewed perspective and your need for approbation via competitive fundraising. How you want to present yourself to the nursery parents as quite the fundraiser. You expected all your work colleagues to just pony up, to make you look good

Very much this. Dc recently signed up for a sporting event that was also a charity drive and you are expected to raise £x for the charity on top of an entry fee. I’ve basically taken the view that the charity target is part of the cost of entry and paying the whole lot myself. I couldn’t with a straight face ask anyone to fund my child’s extracurriculars - it isn’t like it is a charity particularly close to our hearts, we are 100% doing it because it sounded like fun. Among the others we know participating all will be doing similar.

I am cringing so hard for you. YABVU!

I think it’s pretty strange to take this sort of thing into a workplace. At best it’s close friends and family only. In all honesty, I loathe sponsored events for children and never asked anyone, just made a contribution myself. I had two children, combined with my siblings children, even close family would have meant multiple requests to the same people.

People have their own charities and their own DC who do sponsored things for their school etc
I always financed any fund raising myself tbh

This is bonkers why do you expect your work colleagues who are just random people you happen to work with to sponsor your child - they probably have their own children/nephews/nieces/children of friends that they would rather sponsor throughout the year. It's totally inappropriate for you to have asked them.

Nobody brings sponsorship forms to work. You sponsor your own child…..put family members’s names on the form to bulk it out.

Am I misunderstanding? You were away on maternity leave and on your first day back you asked your colleagues to donate? That would be unfortunate timing, if you ask me

You tell us how you've been careful to make it easy for your colleagues not to give, and then you complain when they don’t!

In fact this is so hilariously PFB I’m starting to wonder if it’s a reverse….

If they can say no and there is no pressure why are you disappointed people have said no? Why would manager be "adding weight" if no obligatory.

I have never ending sponsor requests for my kids clubs I dont take them to work and it bugs me when others do. I sponsor my neices and nephews and friends kids. Have to draw the line somewhere.

This. My DC’s nursery does 3-4 events like this every year and we just put £10 or £20 in ourselves. I can’t even ask close friends and family for so many donations. And tbh I’m starting to think it’s a bit much myself.

If you’re asking work colleagues, you should at least bake/buy a couple of cakes and ask for a donation for a slice of cake. But even that might not work. People are tired of being asked for money at every turn.

you're being ridiculous!

Nobody asks colleagues to contribute to things like that.

It’s the first time something like this has happened, so I didn’t really know what the ‘protocol’ was

The protocol is that you don't ask your colleagues to sponsor your kid's nursery flipping egg hunt.

Echo what others have said. Not something for work colleagues.

also, for future fundraising (this may have been said) nobody has cash, you need a qr code for this type of thing.

Stick it on your FB page. That type of audience.

one of my twins cut 18 inches of her hair for princess trust and raised about 2000. I think cash donations at work were maybe a fiver. It’s really not a huge donation event.

OP this is just not a done thing . Is it your first child ?
When you receive sponsorship forms they are only for family .
You don’t ask others to pay money .

YABU.

I worked in a school. I was sick and tired of being asked to sponsor pupils/teachers/teacher's children.

I think you’re really overthinking this.
You gave people the opportunity to contribute, few did. That’s life.
It’s not about who you’re friends with, the loud people, the extrovert people and if anyone compares donations at a child’s nursery they’re not worth giving headspace to.
You’re contributing £20-£30 the charity wouldn’t have otherwise and they’ll be glad of that. Job done.

I think you are over thinking this. Honestly some parents will forget to do the sponsor form at all. Staff won't notice or carecwho raised what. It's not that big a deal, and I defo wouldn't expect colleagues to be contributing.

Yep, you don’t take things like this into work. Family only.

YABU.
This is a fun activity your child is doing, not a massive challenge or hardship. If you have other colleagues who are parents they are likely to have this thing come home too (and I doubt they bring it into work).
If you want other people to sponsor your child you need to ask family and friends.
I find these things so trivial and I generally just put in a tenner from myself and DH or occasionally if it is something a bit more challenging, ask the grandparents.
I would be totally embarrassed to ask work colleagues to sponsor my child for taking part in an egg hunt and am cringing on your behalf.