To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

A colleague's retirement is nothing like your pre-schooler's charity egg hunt!

I don’t understand why you’re insisting on an equivalence between asking people to chip in for a colleague’s retirement present — I mean she actually works with you all, shes not an unknown pre-schooler doing a fun activity! Just admit to yourself that you got the protocol wrong, chalk it up to experience, and chuck a tenner into nursery.

You have just come back to work from maternity leave and immediately asked your colleagues to sponsor your nursery child? How many of their children have you sponsored in the past?

YABVU and entitled here. You may think your child is the sunshine of your life and that this is an extremely important thing but to your work colleagues this is just some random child they’ve most likely never met and it doesn’t mean anything to them. If everyone did this imagine how often people would be asked to donate to stuff.

Stick to asking people who actually know your child.

YABU. People can choose whether to donate to charity, and they can choose which charities they want to support. I don't understand why you think they should donate to yours, no matter how much warning you've given them.

Do your work colleagues have kids ?
Just if you start sponsoring one child you have to do it with others
The amount of sponsorships that come from school and clubs you cant possibly sponsor everything
We don’t do it at our work for that reason your hand would never be out your pocket

This!!

I only sponsor my own children and God children. It wouldn't occur to me to sponsor a colleagues child, who let's be honest probably haven't even met your child. Regardless of whether it's for charity or not. Life is expensive, and you sound as though it's more about saving face with the other parents than the actual charity itself.

I don’t think you can compare a collection for a colleagues retirement sponsorship for a colleague’s kids nursery

Your colleagues will have had a relationship with the person leaving. They don’t have a relationship with your child and so when times are tough people will prioritise their money. A retirement gift would rank a lot higher than a sponsorship

It’s really not the done thing to seek sponsorship in the workplace. It’s a hard no
Colleagues quite rightly don’t care that little Jess is doing a sponsored whatever

You are being unreasonable on all counts.

Are you being unreasonable? Yes.

My son had a sponsored Easter event this yr too - I got a couple of pounds sponsors from my parents / sister / his dad and my self. £10-£15 is fine.

To be honest unless it was something later in my sons life and he was doing something that was actually difficult / where had to really put some effort in and for a good cause, I don't think I'd ask my work colleagues to sponsor him, and even then probably the 2-3 people who I would consider a friend rather than just a colleague.

I don’t understand why you thought this was appropriate.

My husband and I were once away working, and our daughter forgot to bring her form home in plenty of time and instead brought it home that night, when we weren’t there (she was with Granny). Suggestion from her friend was not to worry ‘just get your Granny to put in £100 or £200 from her business’. Her Granny doesn’t have a business, and we laughed quite hard at the assumption that everyone has businesses to sponsor them (it is a private school). We told her to put £20 on the form, transferred said £20 to Granny, sent it in and that was that! To the best of my knowledge, my child’s prospects have not suffered (however if she doesn't get into Oxbridge then I will fully blame the £20 lowly sponsorship for influencing the quality of reference school give her).

I am surprised you were allowed to ask at work when it's not you directly who is doing the thing being sponsored.

I spent 7 years doing nursery runs and our nursery never asked parents for any kind of sponsorship. If they had I would have just put money in myself, there's no way I would have taken it to work for colleagues to sponsor some random-to-them child !

YABU

You mention they are doing a raffle, but this is totally different if it is for a work chosen charity and organised by work colleagues.

If it was sponsoring you personally, then I could see why you might feel a little peeved. However, it is for your child who most of your colleagues will barely know (if at all!).

The only time I have sponsored a work colleagues child is where I am close friends with the colleague and also know the child. I'm impressed you got two to be honest!

Easter egg hunts are fun in and of themselves and kids get chocolate at the end.

Why on earth would that be a sponsored thing?

This is really just 'please give me some money for this random charity so I don't look bad at my daughter's school'.

Most people give a portion of their income to charities of their choosing and would not give extra to a colleague's daughter for doing an Easter egg hunt (which most kids do, and are rewarded with chocolate!)

I think the issue is more why you feel you will be judged by other parents or the nursery and why it matters what they think. That’s the thing to reflect on and work through.
Re your colleagues not sponsoring, there are many reasons why they may not have sponsored: no money, forgot, not a priority in their working day, give money to other charities…etc. I did a sponsored run once and only a few of my close friends sponsored me and my brother said it was ‘only’ 5k 😂 …it really is no biggie unless you make it one.

I hate shit like this at work. You are massively out of line for expecting anything from colleagues.

I wouldn't want to spend money on sponsoring my own child for that absolute bollocks @justanotherimperfectmum2025 never mind someone I just happen to work with

I'd happily sponsor a colleague doing something out of their comfort zone but not a colleague's kid's Easter egg hunt! Sorry.

It wouldn't be the done thing at my work and I wouldn't ask. Maybe close work friends if they were the sort to ask to see photos but probably not.
Stick to close family and just donate yourself (you could split it up for the child like mummy £10, Daddy £10, The dog £2)

Yabu. I think you're massively overthinking this. It's really not important to them. If you came up to me and asked me, I'd give you a £1 or 2 there and then, but I wouldn't be making it a priority to be finding you to give you the money, ir making sure I'm bringing it in. Life is busy for people, they're not going to care about your child's nursery trying to raise money.

Likewise, I never did this. Your colleagues should not be expected to donate to this, it's ridiculous.