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Original poster

To find this bizarre? Friend and soap

593 replies

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 18:56

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

OP posts:
Annettecurtaintwitcher · 15/04/2025 20:41

I mean, yes they are similar but you should have said use the shower gel. I would have been confused in her situation too.

Allaboardtheraveytrain · 15/04/2025 20:44

Hmm I completely see your point OP, but at the same time, we do just have odd rules in society that we naturally learn.

Shower gel isn't for hand washing
Cereal isn't for lunch
Flannels aren't for drying pots
Car air fresheners aren't for the house
Egg shaped chocolate is only for Easter...etc

Not that any of those make any sense I suppose

dannyufcfan · 15/04/2025 20:44

I'm with your friend here. She's was asking for soap. Not shower gel. I wouldn't have thought to use shower gel as soap replacement.

peppermintcrumble · 15/04/2025 20:45

You’re the weird one here, not her.

TheCurious0range · 15/04/2025 20:46

If you'd said oh if the dispenser is empty just use the shower gel on the bath, she wouldn't have commented. It's that you seem to think it perfectly ordinary to not have a means of washing your hands on or next to the sink and that visitors should just use your shower gel when you say oh there's soap on the bath.

ETA I use shower oil and bars of hand soap, so I wouldn't naturally think oh I'll look and see if she has any shower gel I can use to wash my hands, I would also think it was impolite. Hand soap or wash, or whatever you put in your dispenser is on our next to the hand basin, it's implied it's there for anyone to use for that purpose. Your shower gel is in the shower/on the bath I wouldn't assume it was just for anyone to use for whatever purpose.

megacat · 15/04/2025 20:48

Good grief there are some brain dead people replying to this thread. The soap on the sink ran out, surely you’d have a look around for an alternative (shower gel is an alternative, it cleans your fucking skin, no?) before shouting out to your friend like a child?

Tulippilut · 15/04/2025 20:49

TropicofCapricorn · 15/04/2025 20:40

Shower gel IS soap.

Why do you think it's different?

Show quote history

That’s not what it’s about .

She said soap , but meant shower gel. They have 2 different names - shower gel was in the shower, obviously it confused her . Regardless of if they do the same things.

Just like if the friend was having a shower and asked where the shower gel was and was told it’s there , but there was just a dispenser with handwash in on the sink and not in the shower, she wouldn’t have automatically assumed that’s what she meant regardless of the fact they’re both soap

DappledThings · 15/04/2025 20:50

It's that you seem to think it perfectly ordinary to not have a means of washing your hands on or next to the sink
No she doesnt. She just forgot to refill it. She doesn't normally not have handsoap at the sink. And accidentally running out of stuff is entirely ordinary.

Overall I still think OP is BU for not just shouting back "sorry, must have run out. There's shower gel by the bath you can use instead" and avoiding the entire situation but the number of people insistent that she intentionally only uses shower gel to wash her hands and keeps it in an awkward place is bizarre.

Lifecanbebeautiful12 · 15/04/2025 20:51

I admittedly use shower gel as hand soap and even vice versa when I run out of one or the other. They’re probably not that different other than the anti bacterial agent in anti bacterial hand soap. However, I agree that you are the one who behaved strangely here. If I was your friend it wouldn’t have even occurred to me to look for shower gel and if I saw the shower gel I wouldn’t even register that it is what you meant. And in your situation I would tell the guest ‘sorry, I’ve run out of soap but there’s shower gel if you don’t mind using that?’. It’s a bit strange to use shower gel in someone else’s bathroom with no explanation imo

miraxxx · 15/04/2025 20:51

TropicofCapricorn · 15/04/2025 20:40

Shower gel IS soap.

Why do you think it's different?

Show quote history

This is disingenuous and quite annoying. Many shower gels have moisturisers and emollients especially for people with sensitive skin issues. They may be more scented. They can be much more expensive. If it is all soap, will you wash a new born with hand soap? I have scalp issues and can never just use any old shampoo - even it is all just 'soap'.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/04/2025 20:54

Summertimeblahness · 15/04/2025 19:03

Maybe you could have said, ‘just use the shower gel’.

This.
As opposed to other people on this thread, I HAVE used shower gel to wash my hands when I've run out of hand wash, but then I'd put the bottle by the sink so it's obvious and I would have explained that to a confused visitor.

katepilar · 15/04/2025 20:55

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:02

You see this is exactly my thinking! It’s all pretty much the same thing! What do people think is in soap that isn’t in shower gel, or vice versa?

Show quote history

The thing is, most people wouldnt call a bottle of shower get soap. So she was looking for soap and it didnt occure to her that you mean a shower gel.

Poonu · 15/04/2025 20:55

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 15/04/2025 20:07

Don't most people put another one out ready when it's running low?

Same as you do with toilet paper - or do you just shrug your shoulders if it runs out without having put a new one there ready and nonchalantly wipe your arse with the hand towel instead or simply not bother wiping at all?

Show quote history

Brilliant

Flytrap01 · 15/04/2025 20:59

to me soap is a bar of soap and shower gel is shower gel

lovemycbf · 15/04/2025 21:01

Just buy some liquid hand soap for the bathroom sink
it’s odd not having any and I wouldn’t think you meant shower gel either

LoobyLott · 15/04/2025 21:03

soap is soap is fucking soap
I had a BF once who refused to wash his body with face wash when we were out of body wash. BECAUSE IT WAS FOR FACES.

Wot a moron.

Growlybear83 · 15/04/2025 21:05

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:12

But it wasn’t a case of “Why isn’t it by the sink?” - I literally told her there was some behind the shower screen. My sink is right next to the bath anyway, so nowhere to trail water.

Show quote history

But when you told your friend there was some soap behind the shower screen, she was probably looking for soap not shower gel! My shower is quite close to my sink but I would never expect anyone to get anything out of my shower! Apart from that, I always use antibacterial hand wash, but most of the shower gel I use isn’t.

Bubbles332 · 15/04/2025 21:05

Hand soap is more alkaline than shower gel because it is designed to effectively remove dirt and germs. The ingredients are often the same as shower gel but in different quantities. Shower gel tends to have a neutral PH so it doesn’t irritate your skin when you rub it all over your body.

megacat · 15/04/2025 21:07

miraxxx · 15/04/2025 20:51

This is disingenuous and quite annoying. Many shower gels have moisturisers and emollients especially for people with sensitive skin issues. They may be more scented. They can be much more expensive. If it is all soap, will you wash a new born with hand soap? I have scalp issues and can never just use any old shampoo - even it is all just 'soap'.

Show quote history

Yes I would wash a newborn with hand soap.

Babies would have been washed with a bar of soap years ago. In the kitchen sink no less! Mind blowing.

This thread is ludicrous.

Didimum · 15/04/2025 21:14

I think you were weird here, OP, not your friend. I recognise it’s all essentially the same stuff and I would wash my hands with shower gel in the absence of hand soap, but I would have said to someone (and would expect the same back) ‘looks like the dispenser is out, there is some shower gel behind the shower screen you can use instead’.

If you were out of hand soap and indicated there was some on the bath, I would have been looking for hand soap, not shower gel.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 15/04/2025 21:16

CatamaranViper · 15/04/2025 18:59

I mean, while they probably are more or less the same, if I had asked someone were the soap was, I'd be looking for either soap or hand wash, not showergel. Wouldn't occur to me to just pick up a bottle of shower gel and use it in someone else's house unless they told me to.

Yup, same here. Of course you can wash your hands with shower gel, but if someone told me there was soap in there, that's what I'd be looking for! I'd assume you meant there was soap in addition to shower gel, so I'd have been looking for it and got similarly confused.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 15/04/2025 21:17

Didimum · 15/04/2025 21:14

I think you were weird here, OP, not your friend. I recognise it’s all essentially the same stuff and I would wash my hands with shower gel in the absence of hand soap, but I would have said to someone (and would expect the same back) ‘looks like the dispenser is out, there is some shower gel behind the shower screen you can use instead’.

If you were out of hand soap and indicated there was some on the bath, I would have been looking for hand soap, not shower gel.

Yup!

ThisFluentBiscuit · 15/04/2025 21:20

megacat · 15/04/2025 20:48

Good grief there are some brain dead people replying to this thread. The soap on the sink ran out, surely you’d have a look around for an alternative (shower gel is an alternative, it cleans your fucking skin, no?) before shouting out to your friend like a child?

I don't know though, some shower gel is expensive! I wouldn't use a Clarins shower gel to wash my hands, I'd call out for more soap!

Pushmepullyou · 15/04/2025 21:22

TropicofCapricorn · 15/04/2025 20:39

What do you think is different to shower gel and liquid hand soap?

Show quote history

Well yes, I appreciate it is actually soap, but if I was looking for hand soap I wouldn’t necessarily look at a bottle of shower gel and think “oh yes, there’s the soap”

recipientofraspberries · 15/04/2025 21:23

It's because you told her there was soap by the bath.

It's nothing to do with whether it's acceptable to wash your hands with shower gel or not - it's that you said "there's soap by the bath", so she was looking for soap. You should have said "just use the shower gel by the bath".