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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this bizarre? Friend and soap

593 replies

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 18:56

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 16:51

Ah I see. Only your opinion matters?

DappledThings · 16/04/2025 16:53

Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 16:51

Ah I see. Only your opinion matters?

If that's a reply to me then yes, my opinion is that the number of people incapable of reading who think OP doesn't have soap by the sink is baffling and that does count for more than anyone repeating that misunderstanding yet again.

Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 16:56

DappledThings · 16/04/2025 16:53

If that's a reply to me then yes, my opinion is that the number of people incapable of reading who think OP doesn't have soap by the sink is baffling and that does count for more than anyone repeating that misunderstanding yet again.

So yours matters more than anyone else's enough to provide snippy responses? really hoping you have soap on your sink :)

DappledThings · 16/04/2025 16:57

Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 16:56

So yours matters more than anyone else's enough to provide snippy responses? really hoping you have soap on your sink :)

When it's correcting a much repeated tedious misunderstanding then yep!

Of course I have soap on my sink. Just like OP.

Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 16:58

DappledThings · 16/04/2025 16:57

When it's correcting a much repeated tedious misunderstanding then yep!

Of course I have soap on my sink. Just like OP.

I'm very pleased :).

AllTheChaos · 16/04/2025 17:03

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 12:33

I don’t know it and I don’t agree with it!

A mug is for hot drinks. A wine glass is for wine. Liquid soap and shower gel are both cleansing products that look virtually identical.

I have drunk wine out of a mug before. Hell I’ve drunk it out of a jam jar! Admittedly I was a student at the time…

Dogpawsandcatwhiskers · 16/04/2025 17:03

If you couldn't find handsoap i'd use any liquid soap. Mind you when I wash my hands in the kitchen before cooking I use the Fairy Liquid in a bottle on the side. A friend came round recently and was discombobulated that I didn't specifically have handwash in the kitchen. "Hands that do dishes can feel soft as your face" 🎶

threenaancurrywhore · 16/04/2025 17:08

Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 16:51

Ah I see. Only your opinion matters?

It’s not an opinion that OP has a soap dispenser by her bathroom basin

miraxxx · 16/04/2025 17:10

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 12:05

I can’t believe you think the difference between a wine glass and a mug is the same as the (lack of) difference between liquid soap and shower gel.

Wineglass and mug are closer in kind than handsoap and shower gel, especially for people with skin conditions.
You are certainly capable of specious differentiation when it suits your purpose, OP.

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 17:18

MasterBeth · 16/04/2025 16:00

This is why everyone thinks you're being arrogant, OP:

Me: There was only one bottle there, so even if she’d wondered why I said soap instead of shower gel, it couldn’t have been anything else.

If there was only a bottle of shower gel there, and no soap, there is another possibility: the possibility that you were mistaken. The fact that you think your friend could and should not have conceived that you might be mistaken shows the problem.

It's worse than that. You're suggesting that your friend should think that a thing becoming another, totally different, kind of thing is a stronger possibility than you being mistaken.

What if your friend had looked behind the curtain and seen a bottle of Pepsi? Even if she'd wondered why you said soap instead of Pepsi, should she have washed her hands with it?

Oh, absolutely. I regularly pop bottles of Pepsi on the side of the bath and suggest people wash in it. (Never Coke though. Harsh on the skin.)

Lard, bottles of urine, sulphuric acid - I’m always doing it.

OP posts:
miraxxx · 16/04/2025 17:21

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 17:18

Oh, absolutely. I regularly pop bottles of Pepsi on the side of the bath and suggest people wash in it. (Never Coke though. Harsh on the skin.)

Lard, bottles of urine, sulphuric acid - I’m always doing it.

Such a wit, OP! No wonder your friends love you so.

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 16/04/2025 17:24

AllTheChaos · 16/04/2025 17:03

I have drunk wine out of a mug before. Hell I’ve drunk it out of a jam jar! Admittedly I was a student at the time…

My lowest point as a student, when there were no clean drinking vessels available, was drinking lemonade out of a saucepan Grin

Hastentoadd · 16/04/2025 17:26

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 17:18

Oh, absolutely. I regularly pop bottles of Pepsi on the side of the bath and suggest people wash in it. (Never Coke though. Harsh on the skin.)

Lard, bottles of urine, sulphuric acid - I’m always doing it.

Yet again you are missing the point, I must be very disappointing for you when you realise that your way of thinking hasn’t been validated by the majority

Your friends reaction was normal and logical, yours is not

Ilovecleaning · 16/04/2025 17:28

The bit which would really annoy me would be her ‘show-er gel’ comment as if I were stupid. That’s rude.

Mnetcurious · 16/04/2025 17:31

DappledThings · 16/04/2025 16:57

When it's correcting a much repeated tedious misunderstanding then yep!

Of course I have soap on my sink. Just like OP.

Except on this occasion 😉

aramox1 · 16/04/2025 17:33

You're being weird here

Mnetcurious · 16/04/2025 17:33

Ilovecleaning · 16/04/2025 17:28

The bit which would really annoy me would be her ‘show-er gel’ comment as if I were stupid. That’s rude.

If the op spoke to her with the same exasperation and belligerence that she’s used in her posts here, I’m not surprised the friend matched her rudeness.

Hastentoadd · 16/04/2025 17:45

Mnetcurious · 16/04/2025 17:33

If the op spoke to her with the same exasperation and belligerence that she’s used in her posts here, I’m not surprised the friend matched her rudeness.

Exactly, I would say that the OP has form for it and that’s why people do it back to her, her friend obviously knows her very well.
She probably spoke to her friend in the same patronising tone ( thinking she’s smarter than her) then when the friend did it back to her it made her feel silly and small to be corrected, she then goes on MN looking for validation as she feels so foolish and is hoping MN posters are going to make her feel better by agreeing with her…..but they don’t so now she feels even more silly

Ilovecleaning · 16/04/2025 17:46

Mnetcurious · 16/04/2025 17:33

If the op spoke to her with the same exasperation and belligerence that she’s used in her posts here, I’m not surprised the friend matched her rudeness.

I clearly need to read the OPs post again!

miraxxx · 16/04/2025 17:50

Ilovecleaning · 16/04/2025 17:28

The bit which would really annoy me would be her ‘show-er gel’ comment as if I were stupid. That’s rude.

Yet it is OP who has started a thread here saying her friend was being "bizarrely literal" and accusing her of being less than an "adult who should have connected the dots". Funny that.

RecklessGoddess · 16/04/2025 17:52

Shower gel is absolutely not soap, it's shower gel just as your friend said. I would never have even considered using shower gel in someone else's house to wash my hands, unless told it was all there is available!

Hastentoadd · 16/04/2025 17:52

Ilovecleaning · 16/04/2025 17:46

I clearly need to read the OPs post again!

It’s shown more throughout the full thread than in the initial post

Unicornsbumhole · 16/04/2025 17:55

As someone who works in manufacture of soaps and shower gels etc I absolutely can 100% confirm they are often identical formulations presented in different bottles.
Soap by any other name is still soap

HaddyAbrams · 16/04/2025 17:55

The amount of people here saying they refill their soap dispensers with cheap bubble bath explains why I have allergic reactions so often! Even when the bottle is something I can usually use, maybe what's in the bottle isn't what the label says.

JMSA · 16/04/2025 17:59

Summertimeblahness · 15/04/2025 19:03

Maybe you could have said, ‘just use the shower gel’.

This

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