How to respond politely when people comment on my weight loss

[domebody]

I know people mean no harm when they comment on someone’s weight loss, but it’s not something I like to talk about to people about. It’s very personal and I would rather just not discuss it.

how can I respond that’s not rude/ dismissive or offended - because I’m not offended and I don’t want people to feel bad mentioning it- yet I want to shut the conversation down.

so far I’ve said stuff like ‘ yeah haha thanks, forget about it haha ‘.. or ‘ ah let’s not go there hahaha ‘..

I don’t want people to feel bad but I think maybe it’s coming across a bit awkward and mean. I know it’s a ‘ me ‘ thing, but I really don’t want to talk about it.

any tips on how to smoothly move the conversation on without making the person feel bad / look like an idiot to them for not wanting to chat about it ?

I’ve lost a couple of stone in a year and a bit. I still have some weight to lose. I’m just mentioning for context, I wasn’t 600 pounds and now I’m 150, or anything dramatic like that.

I just saw someone complaining on FB that nobody has commented on her weight loss. Everybody has assured her that people are jealous.
Hard to know what to do. I err on the side of saying nothing.

Those responses would make me feel awkward that I had asked. Whereas a simple "thanks" would probably stop me asking more.

(Disclaimer, I don't ask about people's weight or diet etc. I would agree that it's very personal.)

I never comment on anyone’s weight loss, unless they mention or seem to want to talk about it. It’s not because I don’t notice. Sometimes I’ll say ‘ you look so well ‘. But I also say that if someone generally looks well, not just because they’re thinner.

Are you able to just say 'thank you' and move on?

Hard to know without knowing what is actually being said.

I would just go "oh thank you - and how have you been lately/how's your auntie Mildred doing/tell me all about your holiday" - i.e. don't comment on it at all and move the conversation on. I reckon that is more effective than trying to stop people asking about things.

I think it takes people about three times of seeing you at your new weight for them to get used to it so if just nod for now at them talking about it will wear off. Never mention it yourself, or talk about diets or how you can’t eat much anymore etc etc.

I have done that before and the person insisted on talking about it.. it’s like they think I want to then talk about it.

“thanks. Oh, did you see…. (Something outrageous on the news/tv show)”. Just politely thank them and move the conversation on. No need to tell them not to comment, if they are smart they will understand you don’t want to talk about/it makes you uncomfortable.

I say "Thanks. I love your scarf"
Or "thanks you look well too"

I just smile and say Thank you and then say something nice about them or ask them how they are, it depends on how they say it.

OmG have you lost weight? A little yes, thank you. What a fab tan, have you been somewhere nice?
You look so skinny! Thank you. So how’s your day going so far?

Arghhh I hate it so much and wish people would not make unsolicited comments about my body - it’s personal and fuck all to do with them! I find it so rude and makes me feel like people are looking at me.
I lost weight because I was unhealthy so when I do get a comment I just say yes I needed to for my health and move the conversation swiftly on.
I never comment on anyone else’s body either.

@domebody - my weight yo- yo’s and the comments which are meant to be kind make me feel so uncomfortable. I wish I could just say “thank you but I don’t want to talk about this anymore as you are making me feel so uncomfortable “ - but I don’t feel comfortable to say that

thank you that’s all that is needed

I have had lots of comments I am very happy with the comments even though I am aware that often what is being said is you look so much better now

but it’s the truth

I have lost 60lbs 🤩 couldn’t be happier

It's a tricky one i know a couple of people who have recently lost weight and their face lights up with glee if you compliment them. I think if they just responded with "thanks" then abruptly changed topic I'd get the hint it's not something they want attention drawn to, so that's probably best method

You day yes, thank you

If they keep on just say I ate a bit healthier and exercised more

I’ve lost 48 pounds and barely anyone
has noticed my skinniness. So when the odd person says how slim I am, I’m delighted.

If that happens maybe then go "oh, I don't talk about that sort of thing" and then again move the conversation on.

Most people will take the polite cue when you move the conversation on the first time, but if you don't just give a firm statement without any reasons or question marks in it and again shift the topic to something else.

Or they have, and are scared to say anything

I’m just up to 4 stone now … I say “I wasn’t fishing for that compliment, but I’ll take it” (whilst mining reeling in a fish.

or sometimes just “thank you very much”

I’m proud of my achievement.

Any time I've lost weight, if there's a comment I just say "Thanks."

[Why yes, I am a yo-yo dieter/exerciser. Trying to become healthy now.]

I agree OP, I think it’s weird and inappropriate to comment on people’s weight and bodies, including if it’s a ‘compliment’ to do with weight loss – which obviously also carries an implicit judgement about weight and size generally.

‘Thanks, you look good too’ sounds like a good option.

My weight has yoyo’d and I really, really do not want people to comment on the changes. Very few comment when I gain, yet when I’ve lost weight, those same people think that it’s ok to mention it because they are complimenting me.

I’m not interested in their judgement either way and am particularly not interested in discussing it.

i try and deflect, and explain to anyone stupid enough to keep mentioning it, that there are only two reasons for weight loss: being very seriously ill or having previously put on a lot of weight, and ask them which they think is the cause of my weight loss.

I've lost about 18lbs. I don't see much difference myself, but others have commented. Unfortunately, I'm still in the 'obese' category - a few pounds away from 'overweight', according to the NHS website.

You can't hide that big a weight loss and it would be almost rude if people didn't mention it.

Just own it.