To be in Limerence in my early 40s

[Dreamingi]

Limerence
aka an infatuation or really intense crush

I’ve never felt anything like it and I’m
constantly looking for signs he likes me back and waiting for communication from him.
friends and colleagues tell me he likes me too
I’m not so sure

I know I need to get over this but it’s all consuming
has anyone else had this?
no spiteful comments please

😂😂

Limerence is a very real thing. It’s more than a crush. It’s usually kick started by uncertainty. There are some good self help videos but it usually takes going no contact if you want to be free of it.

Limerence is awful and consumes you. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

I have gone no contact
we last text on Monday
I’m on medical leave for the next week and a bit as I have had a minor op.
its easy as he has a lot going on in life and isn’t the best texter but always makes contact if I don’t
I just need to get over it
like PP have said
if he wanted to fuck me he would of
he could of made a move
I thought at one point he was going to
he invited me to sit on the sofa and I say away from him and he said ‘oh’
but the next time I sat right next to him and nothing
I could go over lots of things
Donna and hints but the fact remains that he isn’t interested
so I need to get over it

Not Donna!
suggestions that’s meant to say

Sat not say
god must check writing!

He’s reeling you in and out to play with you.
“Come closer” when you don’t, but nothing when you do.

Its a game for him.

Just tell yourself if there was someone he respects and really fancies ( and there might be) he won’t be letting her slip away. That might hose it down for you!

I’m beginning to think it’s been an ego boost
He knows I like him I think

I am also the double of his ex which I must admit did take me aback slightly when. I saw her a few weeks ago.
he's moody and really not that attractive
im slowly being put off 🤪😬

I wonder what you liked about him?

I have heard in these cases it’s normally something about you that you are projecting onto him, rather than anything that is actually genuinely attractive.

He reminds me of my deceased other half a bit
I don’t know what I liked

I like having a little crush, have one myself 😆 we're both single.

No harm really?

It is when some days I think it’s mutual then others I don’t
does my head in!

I came across a few guys like this back in my dating days and have been where you are. Definitely sounds like he's playing games with you and is loving the ego boost. It's so hard to see it for what it is though when you're hooked on someone!
Agree that no contact is the best thing right now

I can understand the mindbend of “does he - doesn’t he?” if there were good reasons he might be keeping it hidden eg: if he were married/ you were married/ he was your boss etc.

But if there aren’t any such reasons and as you’ve also made a suggestion he rejected I really don’t think he’s concealing a massive crush on you. Everything is open for him to ask you out.

I think he’s being a bit of a self absorbed idiot tbh, enjoying the attention but not thinking/caring how it may be impacting you. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I think accepting that will serve you better in the long run op. You are tormenting yourself over nothing with the wondering.

When I was your age I went completely batshit over a (totally unsuitable) bloke. It was exactly like being 16 again.

Don’t worry, it will pass and you will look back fondly, and with a large helping of embarrassment 😂

I would love to tell you more about him but it’s so so outing 😬

And I definitely agree xx

It’s not much talked about, but men do this quite a lot, just for the attention and ego boost, without ever intending to have sex.

If a woman did it, she’d be called a cock tease and vilified. Men seem to go under the radar.