Social services in bedrooms

[Ythough]

I have two children from my first marriage who are late teens/adults and one child from a subsequent relationship.

Youngest child’s dad lives at the opposite side of the country and my child spends time there in the school holidays. The ready of the time they live with me.

There has been an issue at dad’s house that may or may not affect my DC, as such social services want to be involved and make an assessment regarding wether or not DC should be having contact at Dad’s.

I have agreed that they can come and speak with DC here, at school, speak with their doctor, whatever they need. To have these meetings I am having to take time of work but it’s important so I am just doing what they ask.

Now on their first visit they explained all the issues, then said, right we need to look around the house and see the children’s bedrooms.

I allowed this but I am wondering why they needed to look around my home considering this investigation has nothing what so ever to do with me other than being DCs mum and more so, why they needed to check my older children’s rooms when they have absolutely nothing to do with youngest DCs dad.

Teen DD was horrified as she is a messy teen, older DC was away at uni so they just went in to look around and came back out.

so AIBU to think this wasn’t at all necessary?

You’re right, a Section 7 report is a court welfare report still used widely across England in private law (proceedings between parents) so there wouldn’t be one in your case as you’re not in court with your ex.

What I suspect has happened is that your situation has been allocated to a student as they can see it’s not a high level concern so think it would be a good piece of work for their student to be able to do, and the student has very enthusiastically embraced every aspect of assessment perhaps without the experience to know when they can use their professional judgment (such as, no need to see adult bedrooms)

I would probably, at the end of this assessment, tell them how this felt for you but couch it as constructive feedback rather than a complaint, if I was in your shoes.

He definitely is a first year student and as such I have been as helpful and cooperative as possible, I do want him to be able to learn as social workers so such an important job.

I will give helpful feedback at the end, I don’t feel any need to complain, I was just a bit confused.

Ythough
I know it must be scary but you will get through it. I've had lots and lots of interaction with social services due to my ex husband. I think off hand 3 different investigations and many many court hearings.
I don't believe social services make things up, I how ever think they can be byest and lack care and attention when writing reports. Obviously not all social workers but some.
I think the best approach is to work with them but not to be blind sided by fear and to have the confidence to question them when needed.
If Dad's working with social services and the police this will go in his favour. Atm they just want to find out what's happening and see that you're able to safeguard your child, eg stop contact until a time where it's seen that it's safe for the child to see him. To fully investigate what's happened, takes time. Time for social services to investigate and get a full picture.

Social worker has text to arrange a visit tomorrow 😵‍💫 it’s Good Friday?!

As far as I am aware they don’t routinely work bank holidays. My friend thinks it is so they can check I am complying with their recommendations and haven’t actually sent DC to Dads.

Does this seem like normal practice?

I'm surprised to hear they are working tomorrow. Bank holidays are usually covered by duty social workers for emergencies. I suspect either this is a check up or sw hasn't realised it's a holiday!

I pointed out when he text me that it’s Good Friday and asked if he works bank holidays (I was VERY surprised) he said yes that’s fine, see you then.

He usually brings his manager with him too so that would be both of them. I don’t know what to make of that at all. Plus the appointment is 4pm since DC is at an activity all day so not even like they are doing a half day or something. It just seems so bizarre.

Now that is odd. I wouldn’t be suprised if you get a text cancelling later, his manager is likely to remind him that they don’t work bank holidays.

I hope so because it really feels worrying that they would make a special point of visiting on a bank holiday.

I am definitely inclined to believe my friend who thinks they are checking up.

Good Friday is not a bank holiday in Scotland I believe, it certainly didn’t use to be one

It's a day - afternoon even more so - where it's very likely that everybody will be at home and easy to see.

Thanks @NeverDropYourMooncup I guess you are right there.

@Mum2jenny we are in England. It is definitely bank holiday here.

Um, no, definitely not unless it’s a child protection issue which it won’t be in your case. I expect they’ve forgotten, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve booked appointments and not cottoned on.

If they were checking up on you, they would be more likely to just turn up rather than arrange it. I wouldn’t worry, it’s either a mistake or they’re on a rota to cover the Easter weekend and thought they may as well plan a visit to you. You know you are allowed to say that day/time isn’t convenient for you, if it’s just an assessment visit.

Did they turn up?

Just the student, it was so strange.

So he turned up alone, having gotten the bus to us. He stayed less than 3 minutes, he said he hadn’t realised it was a bank holiday, shown us the drawn up family tree that he had complied from the last visit and left. He could easily have emailed the family tree.

The thing is, I literally said to him when he asked to visit, that it was bank holiday. Screen shot attached.

He will visit again next week sometime to see DC again.

Looks like he wasn't thinking and only read the first paragraph. I'd check with his supervisor because it's one thing to make a mistake, but another to follow through so he doesn't lose face. Not an attitude to be encouraged in a social worker. However relatively inconsequential in this case.

I don’t want him to get into trouble, he is only in his first year of studying. I think spending over an hour on the bus each way for a 3 minute visit is punishment enough, poor guy!

I am expecting his manager to be in touch though because I assume he will mention it. I won’t make a fuss.

It’s all very well. You not wanting to get him into trouble but he will not hesitate to get you into trouble if he deemed that to be appropriate so please do not for a moment be fooled by a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

You’ve already seen the level of intellect demonstrated here. That’s what you’re up against and they are taking very seriously for some bizarre reason.

Your visit was at 4pm? So he didn't realise all day long that it was a bank holiday, including the message you sent him?

There is something wierd going on here.

Possibly he is super badly organised but still.

I had a lot of dealings with sws (we adopted two children) and there was a lot of bad organisation but also some incredibly dodgy behaviour (long story). But I never reported any of it because these people have so much power over you.

Next time you see or speak to his manager, drop it into conversation. He might have arranged it by mistake but then felt he had to come, but either way it seems odd and it’s worth just making sure the manager knows.

He must have realised, not just because of your message but also surely they’d have mentioned the bank holiday in the office, if only in a “thank god, a long weekend!” kind of way. Maybe he felt he had to see it through but he needs to develop that skill of saying ‘oops sorry’ and admitting you’ve made an error. Time to add that to the feedback.

That makes everything seem different in terms of someone coming around to your house and potentially doing inspections. I have an assessor from Short Breaks. It hasn’t occurred that my children are lucky and in a clean environment and there are kids who have to share a room with a dangerous dog or sleep in the bathroom. Aghast at realising this.