Social services in bedrooms

[Ythough]

I have two children from my first marriage who are late teens/adults and one child from a subsequent relationship.

Youngest child’s dad lives at the opposite side of the country and my child spends time there in the school holidays. The ready of the time they live with me.

There has been an issue at dad’s house that may or may not affect my DC, as such social services want to be involved and make an assessment regarding wether or not DC should be having contact at Dad’s.

I have agreed that they can come and speak with DC here, at school, speak with their doctor, whatever they need. To have these meetings I am having to take time of work but it’s important so I am just doing what they ask.

Now on their first visit they explained all the issues, then said, right we need to look around the house and see the children’s bedrooms.

I allowed this but I am wondering why they needed to look around my home considering this investigation has nothing what so ever to do with me other than being DCs mum and more so, why they needed to check my older children’s rooms when they have absolutely nothing to do with youngest DCs dad.

Teen DD was horrified as she is a messy teen, older DC was away at uni so they just went in to look around and came back out.

so AIBU to think this wasn’t at all necessary?

They are just checking that your home is okay for the children, for all they know both homes could be the same, they’re there to protect the children.

Social worker here @Ythough .
I can totally understand how this feels invasive and unnecessary, but honestly it is just a standard part of a full assessment. All parts of an assessment are carried out regardless of the circumstances (in this case the focus being on the dad) just so that nothing is missed.

Good SS will need to take a look at the whole family life/lifestyle.
Just because the issue is at dads house doesn't mean there isn't something off at the usual home (not insinuating that there is @Ythough )

Thanks everyone for the insight, it makes much more sense now.

They have said they have 45 days to make their assessment at which point I presume they will offer their recommendation, does anyone know if the police investigation changes, would that change? At present there is an allegation to of wrong doing in the household, if that is dropped, would SS continue on, as NFA from the police doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, it just means there was no evidence. I presume SS will take a more cautious approach?

Hi OP. Even if the police NFA it, although SS will look at this, they will still continue with the child and family assessment and, as you said, be much more cautious. As social workers, we know that very often things have happened, even if the police cannot bring enough evidence to charge.

SS would consider whether it was likely to have happened. Whether or not they continue to be involved would depend on whether whatever it was, was felt to impact the children.

Eg as much as people might disagree with this, a parent being involved in criminal activity away from the home that didn't 'come to the door' as it were, wouldn't require social work intervention. Whereas if there was criminal activity at the home that the children could get caught up in, or likelihood of repercussions etc, they're more likely to stay involved.

Not if the people in the house aren't the subject of investigation.

If they are a part of the child’s life, they’re part of their story. I mean if the OP thinks it’s odd then that needs to be highlighted to the SS team, could be any number of reasons why the sw is looking into every aspect of the children’s lives.

It depends if ex husband is charged. If not and all investigating agencies are satisfied, then the case may be closed. However, as I'm not sure what he's accused of its hard to say. Very often, just to be thorough, social services will finish any investigation before they close the case. Normally when these decisions are made its in agreement with all other partner agencies involved. I wouldn't worry and even if ex is charged, investigation in your house will be well advanced by then and if there are any concerns, they will let you know.

But not in rooms of other adults living in the property?

I doubt ss would be making arrangements to interview step sister who has no relationship with the father of the child. More likely to happen if there are signs/evidence of abuse not when the investigation starts. It's not about telling a story, its about facts as that's what the law demands. Social workers rightly gather information about individuals to learn about background, influences etc which helps them better support families but the only information presented in criminal courts is factual. Civil courts sre different but I won't go into that

No, it was only my adopted child's bedroom that was checked on every visit, but all other rooms were checked once.

At present there is an allegation to of wrong doing in the household, if that is dropped, would SS continue on, as NFA from the police doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, it just means there was no evidence. I presume SS will take a more cautious approach?

The burden of proof for criminal proceedings is evidence beyond reasonable doubt, for civil processes like social work investigations the burden of proof is balance of probability, ie it’s more likely than not that X happened. So depending on the concern, social work would consider their own assessment and make decisions from there.

I had a full section 7 report conducted on myself as part of my divorce.
I wish I’d pushed back a lot more because I followed the Mumsnet advice and had nothing to hide therefore nothing to fear and frankly they just make that shit up anyway whether you allow it or not.
If they start opening cupboards or fridges, ask them if they have a warrant ? That’s massively intrusive.
Just as an example of the social worker was very concerned about the fact that I had a small bathroom. What the actual fuck I could do about a small bathroom I do not know but it was made a lot smaller by the fact that she was the size of a small elephant.
You and I probably would’ve been fine in there as were myself and the children.
My point being you can’t win. If you placate them, they’ll just make crap up anyway because they have to put something in the reports.
If I could have my time again, I would’ve just opened the front door. Let them in and just stood by the front door said nothing and then slammed the door behind them.
Dont allow them to make you feel like shit with their commentary.

Social services investigations are child centered. The forms they use will be standardised so there are issues they cover which won't seem relevant, but are in the bigger picture.

If the police and s.s. drop their case but you're still concerned for your child's welfare, you can still take it to court as a civil case. So it's not the end of the road.

The outcome of an assessment can be either no further action, a step down to early help services, a child in need plan (consent based), or possibly for a child protection conference to be held where all agencies make a decision about whether a child protection plan is required (not consent based).

The outcome of the police investigation will be taken into account but generally once started an assessment is completed. Possible outcomes are dependent on what the allegations are, what strengths and protective factors are identified in the assessment, and if there are any other concerns or support needs, so nobody will be able to predict for you. It does sound like the social workers you have are being thorough. Do ask them to clarify or explain things though if you have questions.

I am getting a little worried with some of these replies.

Surely DC won’t need to be put on a CIN or Child protection plan?

They haven’t mentioned any plans, they have just said that they want to do an assessment to decide how contact can continue to take place safely or whether it needs to be stopped. I have agreed to follow their recommendations so I would hope no plans necessary? That makes things sound very formal and serious.

They arnt and you can say no to adult bedrooms being checked

People are just telling you what the possible outcomes are thats all. Have they been asked to do a s7 report?

I’ve just given you all the options, sorry didn’t mean to worry you. Nobody can tell you what outcome there might be as we’ve not got all the information (I’m not asking for it).

Edited to add, the outcome isn’t totally dependent on you, hopefully DC’s other parent is engaging well and will follow recommendations too, but if they aren’t then that will also be considered.

OP, please ignore the silly advice some have given about not complying and the SS will
just ‘make stuff up because they have to put something in their report’. This is absolutely not true.

Given the nature of the assessment is related to contact with one parent I would find it very unlikely your child would be subject to a child in need plan at the end (which is only done with your consent and not as scary as it sounds anyway). But as I said, this outcome is probably unlikely (I say probably as obviously I don’t know all the details). Please don’t worry.

I didn’t say don’t comply.

They do make stuff up in their reports.
The silly advice was what I was given was that if there’s nothing to hide, you’ve got nothing to worry about. It’s not true. It’s very naive.
You don’t know all the details so you can’t say that there’s nothing to worry about and that no plans will be put into place.

Very silly advice to suggest otherwise.

If They say, we recommend no further visits to dad and only day time supervised access going forward then that’s what will happen (or whatever else they suggest) so hopefully no plans needed.

They haven’t given me any sections or anything like that, they just said the police where dad lives have contacted them, asked about current arrangements, they asked if I knew about the situation and had we made any different arrangements. I did know because EX had called me when the situation occurred and we had already cancelled this half terms visit to see what happens next.

They seemed pleased with that.

They said they would need to assess how contact can happen or if it should be withdrawn and they have 45 days to make this assessment.

Visit one the they came and got some background, looked around the house, asked permission to speak to DC school, asked to meet my teen and the child in question. (Oldest was away at uni).

The student then spent maybe 5 mins chatting alone to my DC about hobbies to build up a relationship as they want to see if they make any disclosure.

Swcond visit they did a family tree and medical history, asked a few questions about my relationship with EX (ten years ago) asked about DC relationship with EX family. Asked about EX medical history, mental state and support networks.

They said they would visit again later this week.

No mention of section S7, what is that? I will make sure to ask some questions when they visit again.

Just had a quick giigle, there is no court case or dispute over contact between EX and I.

There was literally an incident 300 miles away, Ex rang to tell me about it and offered an alternative for this visit which was permitted under the circumstances. We both agreed to cancel this visit instead and see how the situation develops.

Social services called and said they would like to do an assessment. I agreed.

I called Ex and told him of the assessment and that I would follow any recommendations made and he agreed that for DC sake that is what should happen.