Social services in bedrooms

[Ythough]

I have two children from my first marriage who are late teens/adults and one child from a subsequent relationship.

Youngest child’s dad lives at the opposite side of the country and my child spends time there in the school holidays. The ready of the time they live with me.

There has been an issue at dad’s house that may or may not affect my DC, as such social services want to be involved and make an assessment regarding wether or not DC should be having contact at Dad’s.

I have agreed that they can come and speak with DC here, at school, speak with their doctor, whatever they need. To have these meetings I am having to take time of work but it’s important so I am just doing what they ask.

Now on their first visit they explained all the issues, then said, right we need to look around the house and see the children’s bedrooms.

I allowed this but I am wondering why they needed to look around my home considering this investigation has nothing what so ever to do with me other than being DCs mum and more so, why they needed to check my older children’s rooms when they have absolutely nothing to do with youngest DCs dad.

Teen DD was horrified as she is a messy teen, older DC was away at uni so they just went in to look around and came back out.

so AIBU to think this wasn’t at all necessary?

You need to know who else lives in the property, what their circumstances are, any issues or positives associated with them for the child

So you're writing up your assessment and trying to explain the lived experience of the child. How do you evidence anything about who else lives in the house and the circumstances of them and how that interacts with the care of the child, or not.

Again, no one has to comply with this, however it is standard. Otherwise you have half an assessment and lots of assumptions made.

You speak to your manager and say 'yes the house was fine, I didnt see the sleeping arrangements but I think its ok, no I didnt ask about or speak to or see the bedroom arrangements for the other adults in the property but I think its probably fine, they're probably ok people, doubt there's any issues with them, the parent told me the rooms are clean, no drug paraphernalia or old nazi knives or guns in the property so I think its fine'.

I said from the first post that what was in question was to do with Dad’s family and nothing to do with me.

I can't believe so many people are falling over themselves to say how amazing it is that OP has had to endure this over zealous and intrusive "inspection" of her home.

OP has not done anything to attract the attention of social services. There is absolutely no suggestion that the children are not safe or well cared for with her. The investigation is purely about their father and the time they spend with him.

If we are saying that this is fine and normal and even to be applauded, then are we saying that every single person with children should have their home inspected at random by SS? I wonder how many PPs would be so enthusiastic about this if they received a knock at the door requesting this.

Yes, they should be doing this. Firstly because as a PP has said they need a full picture of a child's living situation after the Victoria Climbie case, even though that's far removed from your circumstances.

Secondly because if they are going to say something drastic like no contact with dad at his house, they need to pre-empt possible alternatives.

To take your example of ex and partner had a massive row and police are called. Or an equally common example, ex's partner's son from previous relationship is prone to violence and attacks ex's partner and police are called. SS say that the ex (or the stepson or whoever) is too unsafe to permit ongoing contact. Stepson says he's only ever acted in self defence and based on instructions your ex's barrister cross examines the social worker to the effect that the only violent person in the house is your own son, and asks whether they didn't even notice the huge holes he's put in his bedroom walls at your house. Social worker admits she didn't actually look at his bedroom - and all of her evidence is discredited.

That's just an example but if they are going to say "everything at mum's house looked fine" they need to mean everything, not just the living room.

Reductio ad absurdam. Nobody would suggest that every single person with children should have their home inspected at random, because there's not the resources nor the need to do so.

But every single child who has to have engagement with social services should be entitled to an assessment based on the best, most complete, and most accurate information that is available about their family.

And yes, I have had a home inspection by SS (by the children with disabilities team). It was not much fun, but I can understand that it was necessary.

There has been an issue at dad’s house that may or may not affect my DC, as such social services want to be involved and make an assessment regarding wether or not DC should be having contact at Dad’s

what more do you need to know?

Your last paragraph is ridiculous. The child has an open referral, doesnt matter how it came about, and their circumstances and care is being assessed. The child has 2 parents they spend time with, so the care being provided to them by each of those parents is being assessed.

Of course I know the courts actually remove them, but SS does the reports (or not?) that the courts rely on.

& no, it does not make sense that the child lives with his mother and visits his father in the holidays, & that it is The visiting his father that is being investigated as to its suitability with his new family... that has Home with his mother where he lives needs investigating. SS even needed to investigate the mother's home before visiting his father and the holidays became an issue or it doesn't actually need doing at all..

It sounds like a potential outcome is that they increase the amount of time the child spends with you.

As you say, no concerns have been raised about time with you - but equally, if things with you were barely just about ok then increasing the amount of time may push things over into problem territory.

So in order to make an informed decision on whether the ‘more time with you’ is a viable option for them, they need to know what the situation is.

50% of their parental care is currently in doubt and you might end up being the 100% and they have to make sure your care is up to scratch. It sounds very reasonable to check living conditions so try not to take it personally.

SSD write assessments, the parents make statements, the Guardian writes a statement.

Remember Sara Sharif was thought to be safe with her father, when there were concerns about her mother’s care.

you can try to defend it all you like, but it's a ridiculous way of going about things, especially when social services are always complaining the caseload is too high and neglected, abused, reported children are left in unsuitable homes.

Are you in Scotland??

But that's nothing like this situation, she was removed from her mother's care and put into her father's care. That's not what's happening here.

It's not 50% of his care, he lives with the Op and visits his father in the holidays.

That has massively put it into perspective for me.

I am just put out that the life of a man I separated from more that ten years ago is still having repercussions for me. I know they are just doing their job and I am allowing everything they ask.

I will be mildly annoyed whilst trying to remember there are very valid reasons why they are doing it and some children are not so lucky.

I don’t think you are under suspicion. I think they just want to be certain if child is not able to stay at their dads house, your house is a safe environment

Maybe it’s because there’s a risk that the other parent was aware of whatever situation has gone on, and thus has failed to protect their child by allowing contact & not reporting it.
I’m not saying this the case for you, but if it was, then social services would perhaps find evidence of that neglect/poor parenting by assessing your home.

But one of those “children” bedroom, or possibly 2, are not legally children but adult (s).
does that still govern the, rights to look at “children’s bedroom” …nope they aren’t children’s bedrooms. Not sure what rights they have to enter ALL rooms 8n house to nosy around for safeguarding purposes…if they do well fair enough, if they don’t these bedrooms should have been off limits for their purposes.

SWs dont have any rights to enter any house. They ask the house owner/parent/resident if they can check what they need to check.

OP can either agree or not.

No, social workers won’t go to court in these circumstances. They will advise you, but as the safe parent with PR, the decision making will ultimately lie with you. If you decide to stop contact, your child’s dad could apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order to spend time with your child, and at this point the court would likely ask the social worker for a report with their recommendations.

Considering he lives with his mum and only visits his dad in the holidays, don't you think it's a little bit bloody late to be worrying about whether his mum is a suitable place for him to be or not??? That they are only looking into his mum's house because there's a question over the suitability of his dad's house in the school holidays??

If there was no query about how suitable his dad's house is for him to visit in the school holidays, they wouldn't be looking at his home with his mum.

But again, why do they need to make that assessment when the reason for the referral is whether the child has been the witness of unsuitable behaviour at the OTHER PARENT house?

What if there was a rented room of lodger (which essentially is what’s happening with adult child at uni room). Genuine question…do SS have right to go in and inspect and overall that tenants right to “enjoy quiet privacy of their home”, which is also legal right.

? What is law here…
I understand inspecting all rooms the child would have access to, but of bedrooms were off limits to child due to another adult independently living there, do they still legally have that right.

just curious if anyone knows…