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Original poster

Hen party brunch - is it normal for women to over-share like this?

159 replies

HeidiHiBye · 13/04/2025 08:35

I’m genuinely intrigued as to whether I’m just a bit blinkered or if I’m in the minority with this sort of thing.

For my friends hen yesterday, I joined her and about 20 others for brunch and other activities. I didn’t know everyone there, with a mix of old school friends, Uni, work colleagues etc.

The drinks were flowing as expected and some of the women sat close to me turned the conversation onto more sexual matters. In no particular order, they covered - penis sizes of their other halves, favourite positions, oral preferences/techniques, their best former ‘shags’. One even complained their current partner is too passive and she’s considering leaving him as she just needs a ‘good f’ing’.

There was also topless waiters and two of the girls were speculating who’d have the biggest penis and be the best in bed.

I’m no prude but the line has to be drawn somewhere, and hearing how a certain position makes someone ‘squirt’ is beyond the pale for me.

Is this normal behaviour?!

OP posts:
TariffPenguin · 13/04/2025 08:36

Not another thread like this? This is like the swearing one yesterday.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 13/04/2025 08:38

YANBU. Sounds grim. I would hate this! Topless waiters?

Kittykat9070 · 13/04/2025 08:43

TariffPenguin · 13/04/2025 08:36

Not another thread like this? This is like the swearing one yesterday.

maybe not everyone is on here daily and knows every single thread?? Honestly, there’s so many of you that want to police who posts what in case you’ve seen it before. Not interested ? Scroll on!! Or even better, ask for a job at mum’s net and you can email people what you think is appropriate for your viewing needs

BelfastBard · 13/04/2025 08:44

I don’t like this either. I’d be heartbroken to think my partner spoke about me like this to his male friends and I don’t think it’s right for women to do it either. It’s not exactly the same thing as a private conversation with a close friend.

AnimalLover25 · 13/04/2025 08:45

Yuk yuk yuk

If men spoke like this with each other there’d be uproar and rightly so.

I don’t know why people think hen/stags are an excuse to throw all standards out of the window.

Sounds like some of them probably cheated later in the night too.

Janedoe82 · 13/04/2025 08:45

I don’t even talk about stuff like this with my best friends of 30 years

Empress13 · 13/04/2025 08:46

I’d choose your friends more carefully

BlueEyedBogWitch · 13/04/2025 08:47

Performative Hen Party chat. Yuk.

Hen do? Hen don’t, more like.

Evaka · 13/04/2025 08:47

Nah, I'd be really grossed out. I have private conversations about sex with one or two very good friends but this kind of forced hen party bawdy shite would make my skin crawl.

SolielMoonSky · 13/04/2025 08:47

Did you tell them they were making you uncomfortable?
Why did you sit there through all of this if it was that bad?

StRochSixEight · 13/04/2025 08:47

I've never encountered this and I've been on plenty of hen dos - none of which featured topless waiters or anything like that. I've had circles of female friends through school, university, work etc and never ever have I heard a conversation like this. I would find it very uncomfortable and I would leave if put in that situation.

pictoosh · 13/04/2025 08:49

I think it's fairly common, yes.

I'm not a fan of 'smut' as humour myself...I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it, it just doesn't tickle me personally.
Not my scene but hardly unusual.

ThejoyofNC · 13/04/2025 08:49

I'd have walked out and left. I have no interest in surrounding myself with such vulgarity.

PishPish · 13/04/2025 08:51

This is silly, OP. You’re a woman (presumably if at an all-female hen do). You know lots of women. You know whether ‘women’ talk about their sex lives. You knew some of the other attendees. If you’ve never encountered this before, presumably you know it’s not common!

I would say, however, that a hen that takes place at a bottomless brunch at a spot whose USP is topless waiters, is not that likely to attract the refined type of hen.

Sameoldsameoldsame · 13/04/2025 08:52

HeidiHiBye · 13/04/2025 08:35

I’m genuinely intrigued as to whether I’m just a bit blinkered or if I’m in the minority with this sort of thing.

For my friends hen yesterday, I joined her and about 20 others for brunch and other activities. I didn’t know everyone there, with a mix of old school friends, Uni, work colleagues etc.

The drinks were flowing as expected and some of the women sat close to me turned the conversation onto more sexual matters. In no particular order, they covered - penis sizes of their other halves, favourite positions, oral preferences/techniques, their best former ‘shags’. One even complained their current partner is too passive and she’s considering leaving him as she just needs a ‘good f’ing’.

There was also topless waiters and two of the girls were speculating who’d have the biggest penis and be the best in bed.

I’m no prude but the line has to be drawn somewhere, and hearing how a certain position makes someone ‘squirt’ is beyond the pale for me.

Is this normal behaviour?!

What a boring hen do.

NoSoupForU · 13/04/2025 08:54

It's normal for some women, not all women. Same as it would be normal for some but not all men.

I have a mixed friendship group and we talk about sex but not in this performative manner. And not loudly, drunk in bars.

I saw a comment from someone saying it sounds like some of the women probably cheated later in the night though. How on earth do you make that leap?!

BillyBoe46 · 13/04/2025 08:54

Meh. It just people getting drunk and talking shit. They were probably all spurred on by each other. It's not something I'd ever chat about but I'm old and my parents were very victorian in their approach. Sex and money talk were considered vulgar.

Createausername1970 · 13/04/2025 08:55

I have been in this situation before and it did make me uncomfortable. I didn't say anything because I was in the minority. Another woman I didn't know came and sat next to me and we started chatting about other stuff and when it got to a suitable point to leave, we did.

I see a lot of threads on here criticising men for some things they say when overheard chatting between themselves but I often think that some women can be equally crude at times, especially in a group.

NoneedtoquotetheOP · 13/04/2025 08:55

@Sameoldsameoldsame everyone who posted has already read the op, there’s really no need to quote it to add your 5 word opinion.

Not normal in my circle. Sex in the city always baffled me because I’ve never know any women discuss their sex life or their partner in this way. It’s so disrespectful.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 13/04/2025 08:56

PishPish · 13/04/2025 08:51

This is silly, OP. You’re a woman (presumably if at an all-female hen do). You know lots of women. You know whether ‘women’ talk about their sex lives. You knew some of the other attendees. If you’ve never encountered this before, presumably you know it’s not common!

I would say, however, that a hen that takes place at a bottomless brunch at a spot whose USP is topless waiters, is not that likely to attract the refined type of hen.

I once had a flatmate who worked as a butler in the buff at uni.

He basically said he got paid in money but tipped in sex acts.

Crazybaby123 · 13/04/2025 08:56

No, I don't overshare like this, neither do my friends.
But, some poeple are out there on onlyfans, having sex with 1000 people in a day, selling their poop on ebay and going to swingers clubs. So obviously there are people with different views on this to me.
I could only conclude that this is normal for their circle, just not normal for you. Therefore they are not your type of people, and youbare not theirs. Doesn't mean you can't be in a room with them though, just might not have much in common.

category12 · 13/04/2025 08:58

It's not normal for "women".

It's normal for some women.

The setting sounds like it was one of those stereotypical hens with the topless guys, intended to bring out that sort of raucous behaviour.

WxyzWxyz · 13/04/2025 08:59

If I'd known beforehand that there were going to be topless waiters at the event I wouldn't have even bothered going because I would have known it wasn't going to be the type of thing I would feel comfortable with or enjoy.

I think if I saw my " friends" behaving like this I would realise I had nothing in common with them and that the friendships were past their sell by date.

I don't understand how women have been sucked into this idea that equality with men means embracing all the disgusting behaviours that some men indulge in.

Sadly a lot of women have joined the race to the bottom and think it's cool to behave like men at their worst.

Sofiewoo · 13/04/2025 08:59

is it normal for women to over-share like this?

I don’t get your confusion? Presumably you have met and interacted with women before? Why would one conversation made you question anything about what all women do?

PishPish · 13/04/2025 09:00

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 13/04/2025 08:56

I once had a flatmate who worked as a butler in the buff at uni.

He basically said he got paid in money but tipped in sex acts.

Show quote history

You’ve reminded me I used to know someone who helped put herself through her doctorate by doing phone sex lines. You’d come into her houseshare and she’d be reading 18thc philosophy or making pasta, in these giant furry boots she liked, and saying ‘Oh, put it in there — harder — you know what I need…’ and her housemates would be holding up notes saying ‘You’ve said that three times to the same guy’.