Hen party brunch - is it normal for women to over-share like this?

[HeidiHiBye]

I’m genuinely intrigued as to whether I’m just a bit blinkered or if I’m in the minority with this sort of thing.

For my friends hen yesterday, I joined her and about 20 others for brunch and other activities. I didn’t know everyone there, with a mix of old school friends, Uni, work colleagues etc.

The drinks were flowing as expected and some of the women sat close to me turned the conversation onto more sexual matters. In no particular order, they covered - penis sizes of their other halves, favourite positions, oral preferences/techniques, their best former ‘shags’. One even complained their current partner is too passive and she’s considering leaving him as she just needs a ‘good f’ing’.

There was also topless waiters and two of the girls were speculating who’d have the biggest penis and be the best in bed.

I’m no prude but the line has to be drawn somewhere, and hearing how a certain position makes someone ‘squirt’ is beyond the pale for me.

Is this normal behaviour?!

Gross but probably to be expected for a group who book a venue with topless waiters.

Urgh. I hate hen parties like this.

I was at one in my late twenties where women ranging from mid forties to early twenties played a sexual version of the story game "never have I ever" where everyone goes round in a circle recounting things that honestly should be private amongst women who don't actually all know each other. 🤮 if you have done the sexual thing that the person say then you take a shot.

Having never had a boyfriend or any sex life I found myself just sitting there...which drew attention to myself.

Perhaps I should have lied and done all the shots 😂

I’ve just read through all the replies - quite mixed, but I respect all views!

Fortunately I won’t need to see any of the more vocal ladies again aside from the wedding itself which I’m hoping will be a more relaxed affair.

TBH, calling them ladies was very generous of you😂

I did ponder using inverted commas!

Agree. In one of the few hen dos I've attended - back in the 90s- we saw the Chippendales. I didn't really see the appeal and yet theres a kind of forced fun to it.

Ugh, so grim. I have absolutely no interest in other people’s sex lives and this sounds hideous. Don’t massively care if that makes me a prude.

I’m 30 years older than you, and when I was 21 in the 1990s, my best mates and I were discussing EVERYTHING as well! I honestly don’t think it’s a generational thing. Even now at my age, while my friends don’t know how big my partner’s dick is, I’m pretty sure we all know how big our ex partner’s dicks were.

The internalised misogyny is really strong on this thread.

Ugh. Yes. I would never discuss any of this with friends, let alone randoms.

Good. You sound my type of woman. The thing is, we don't (I don't anyway) run men down, unless the girl/woman herself is running her man down. We just need to know everything about each other.
And it's incredible fun. My bestie and I have known each other since we were 11 so have had 10 years of comparing sizes - & it's amazing the links and references we make when talking about different exes and currents.

Agreed.
Not just because it is vulgar and unnecessary, I genuinely have NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in the body parts or sex lives of others.

Like none whatsoever.

Totally grim and vulgar. Also attention-seeking and needy and desperate. Probably the same kind of women who scream like a banshee when they're shagging. Got to let everyone know. 🙄

I have never EVER discussed my sex life with a single soul, OR the size of DH's penis! Why the F would you? If anyone asked me anything about my sex life, they'd get a short shrift from me, and be told to mind their own business!

Well we're all different!
I don't consider it vulgar - it's hilarious when you're slightly tipsy (I mean dicksize not my sex life!).
Oh and no-one's ever told me I scream like a banshee!

I was stating that adults can talk about their sex lives in certain circumstances. OP didn't need to join in.

Obviously not when having tea with the vicar/imam, your nan, your kids teacher, your CEO at work...

Thanks mam 🙏

No that’s not right at all ..
I was seeing a guy a short while ago , got on very well , he’s actually a gentleman ( and I’d love to meet someone nice ) , had a good few coffee dates , chatted for hours , nice walks etc , anyway long story short , sex wasn’t good at all as he is so small ..
I need both , I told my best Friend why I decided to leave it , I wouldn’t dream of sharing with another soul !
These women are sharing really private info about their husbands at hen parties

Sounds awful

Im pretty sure I have not chatted about that stuff since i was 18

That’s different altogether as ye are all very close friends !
This is a hen do where I’m pretty sure most don’t each others surname !
They know the size of each other’s partners dick size though alright 😂

Is this normal behaviour?!

No it’s not normal. Worse than some sleazy group chat some men seem to have.

Oh, I know that's different - I was responding to the poster who said she was 21 and discussed this stuff with her best friends and who suggested that might be a young people's thing.

I agree it's a different matter when you hardly know someone! I think a hen do can be odd for that reason, as you have people who know each other really well mingling with people who don't know each other at all, but often in an atmosphere that's meant to encourage risque chat. Recipe for awkwardness.

Many years ago I went on a hen weekend that included an Ann Summers party. It was all very lighthearted but there were essentially three separate groups of women who all knew the bride but not each other. I remember that two groups just thought 'Oh, sod it' and threw themselves into it, and one group was just vaguely disgusted/terrified by the whole thing,

Why does it sound like some of them probably cheated?

I don’t think it’s the hugest deal to be honest. Especially at a hen party.
the only weird thing is that not everyone knows each other that well so it is a little over sharing. I don’t find sex a taboo topic

For me it depends on how close the friends are 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have two very close friends - one I’ve been friends with since I was 16 and there’s literally no secrets between us whatsoever. To the point where she asked me to look at her hooha post-birth because she was adamant it was mangled and she didn’t want her DH to see 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂
The other I met in my mid-20’s when we worked together and she quickly became one of my best friends. She’ll send me a spicy picture of herself that she’s planning on sending her DH to ask my opinion before she sends it 😂
Me and both of those friends have discussed the dark depths of our sex lives, weird medical stuff - literally everything, but in the privacy of our homes, not in a public place or in a big group of friends we aren’t as close to.