To expect coffee?!?!

[ReplacementBusService]

I've never posted a thread before. Please be kind to me as this is extremely serious and I might cry. Well, moderately serious

A couple of us have come to stay with friends who have recently moved away. I woke up early, as is normal for me. We've been told to help ourselves to breakfast etc if we want.

They do not have any coffee in their house. None. Zero. Nothing 😱

These are old friends of mine and wonderful people, and they used to drink the odd coffee but more tea drinkers really - but I was expecting some sort of coffee available. They're probably gonna have a lot of "down from London" visitors to stay now they've moved.

I have spent half an hour googling where I can get coffee on a Sunday morning round here. The options are limited or not early morning enough. I am beside myself. Or I would be if I had enough caffeine in my system to get a head of steam on.

YABU: bring your own coffee next time. These guys are now living a simple coffee free life in the country, get away with your high and mighty big city ways and bring your own

YANBU: it's normal to expect a bit of coffee in a house in this day and age. You'll be doing your hosts a favour if you mention this, or they're going to face hordes of desperate visitors with a dreadful level of unmet need in this new, country living phase of their lives, and the local community will be ravaged by coffee starved londoners desperately roaming the streets early doors like a host of annoying affluent zombies in nice trainers

This ^
I think you only have coffee if you drink it or someone visiting you often. My MIL doesn’t have coffee in her house - she doesn’t drink it and none of her children are really coffee drinkers. After visiting her first time I’ve learnt my lesson and now I never assume that coffee will be available if I’m staying somewhere.
I was also in a situation twice when there was no black tea in the house - I wasn’t staying just visiting but that was a much bigger surprise.

They are 100% doing this to deter visitors. No doubt they are sat up in bed, drinking espressos with a secret kettle hidden behind their wardrobe, sniggering.

We have tea and coffee but as tea drinkers only, the coffee has sat there for months so probably off.

Can coffee go off?

I think having a jar of coffee in the cupboard for visitors etc., is fairly normal in households who drink tea. You might have to chisel the coffee out, mind, but the jar is there.

They maybe glad of the prompt to get a jar if you ask if they have any.

You are googling the wrong thing. Find a mini supermarket that opens early and buy a packet of your favourite along with a modest cafetierre. Be nonchalantly sipping a hot strong mugful when your hosts come down and they will get message.
You can do this, just stay focused.

Nooooo!

This will never happen in our house - unless maybe I'm dead

Rookie error OP.

I always travel with my own coffee and travel filter thingy, especially when back in UK because tea is the beverage of choice there in morning and i cannot drink that instant crap

You will know next time.

It sure can go off, having got stuck in a sticky lump at the bottom of the jar.

I don't drink instant and only use skim milk. This can be a real issue on holiday or visiting as I have DC so can't just go out.

I've learned to switch to tea & take tea bags with me.

I've also leaned to smuggle in snacks I like in my bag, so if I'm hungry I'm not asking the host for snacks or starving in a hotel room as I can't go out.

OP are you ok? No updates for a while and I'm worried you've withered away, I certainly couldn't cope with this horror of a situation either, I'd have packed my bags and been on my way stopping at the nearest service station on route! Please let us know when you've been topped up with caffeine so I can relax, my 3rd coffee of the morning is not hitting the same knowing a fellow addict has been denied!

Chuck in Blossom as well as Wordle and Connections, and that's me too - but with a cup of tea 😍

I completely feel your pain.

I have previously bought a kettle on facebook market place from a man who spoke no English in a small spanish town (n.b. i dont speak spanish) because our hotel had no kettle and i needed my morning and evening hot drinks

I have since bought a travel kettle and fill my suitcase with coffee sachets. Never again.

We don't really drink coffee, and bizarrely most of my friends don't drink tea or coffee. My father in law arrived to us one Christmas with a new nespresso machine because he noticed we didn't have one.... and now everytime he visits he has his lovely coffee 😂🤣

It's the same in my house tbh. My husband doesn't drink hot drinks at all, and I only drink tea, so it's tea, juice, water or nothing here I'm afraid

I do think having tea and coffee is part of hosting. I don't drink coffee but I still have a coffee maker and coffee in the house. My non tea drinking friends still have some tea bags.

YANBU
I take a moka pot and milk fluffier whenever I go to stay with someone. Happy to make flat whites for all who need one… and it is a need - caffeine withdrawal causes headaches, so ´just have a cup of tea’ is not the answer!

YABU. Lots of people avoid coffee for health reasons. Just drink something else, as you have: tea, water.

I’m sure, once they’re up (it’s still early on a Sunday), they’ll pop to get coffee once they find out you usually drink that. Or you can buy some once a shop’s open.

I don’t eat meat. If I’m staying with people who do, I wouldn’t expect them to cater specifically for me. I’d just eat what I could. And if there was very little I could eat and I was hungry, I’d pop out and get myself something.

Having said that, a good host anticipates their guests’ needs, e.g. asks what time they usually get up on a Sunday and what they usually drink and eat in the morning if they get up much earlier than the hosts. Because a good host wants people to feel at home and comfortable.

I don’t get out of bed until at least 10 on a Sunday. But if I knew my guests were early risers, I’d probably get up around 08:30, even if still in my pyjamas, and offer breakfast.

I’m sorry but being beside yourself for not having a coffee is a bit OTT. Just go out and get one

It is really inhospitable. I don't drink coffee but always have some in for guests.

We are mainly tea drinkers but we always have coffee in for visitors. Happily we have enough coffee drinking friends that we always finish it before it goes off. Don't get me started on trying to get a decent cup tea abroad though. The horrors.

OP, are you ok?

I can’t function without a cup of tea first thing so I always go places prepared.

Don’t go out for coffee your friends will feel horrible - just have tea and OD on coffee when you get home. They are fab friends having you stay with them, it’s always my worse nightmare haha.

Caffeine is addictive. Op is clucking.

I’m not sure I’d be thrilled if I had weekend guests to stay who were clattering around my kitchen at 7:30 on a Sunday morning.

I might have hidden my coffee stocks so they don’t want to come again.

I would laugh if really good longstanding friends went out to get coffee while staying at my house.

Being relaxed and accommodating is what makes both good hosts and guests.