For refusing to go to Church?

[TheGreyPony]

Me and DP have been together for 4 years and are newly engaged.

My family is atheist and DPs family is catholic (DP is not practicing any religion)

DPs family go to church every Sunday and special occasions (Easter, Christmas…)

DP doesn’t go to church expect for on Christmas Eve, which is mother states is extremely important to her.

She has asked me every year if I will go to church at Christmas with them, and I explained me and my family have our own traditions and it’s not something I want to give up.

She keeps asking DP and I to go to church on a Sunday with her. She says how much it would mean to them, and how sad she is that DP doesn’t take his faith seriously.
DP genuinely just can’t be bothered to go, and i genuinely could not care less about Church or anything to do with religion.

I am not “anti-religion” I just don’t believe it in at all and do find the whole thing ridiculous (don’t worry, I’d never say that to his family) I worry she blames me for DPs lack of faith, but I also find myself biting my tongue whenever something good happens (like I get a promotion) and she tells me to thank god - because I think, I did that on own, not God.

AMBU for refusing to go? I know it’s important to her, but I just don’t like religion and I feel like it would be more disrespectful to lie.
Should I pretend, and go to church to keep the peace? Or be true to myself?

How is OP's MIL respecting her beliefs if she keeps trying to get OP to attend mass with her?

OP isn't having arguments with her MIL, telling her that there is no God so why on earth would she go to church. She is not trying to change her MIL's beliefs, but I think OP's MIL is trying to change OP's. I'm sure there will be arguments in the future about OP and her fiance having a Catholic wedding, baptising their children and attending Catholic schools. OP needs to put her foot down now.

You seem to be approaching this with the zeal of a new convert to Catholicism. I think OP's MIL is being disrespectful.

Yes, but you have clearly come believe in this nonsense. The OP may not want to spend Holy Week meditating on the torture and execution of a first-century Galilean preacher whose followers believed he rose from the dead, or hear ‘beautiful’ homilies from representatives of a thoroughly corrupt organisation. As an atheist who grew up in a devoutly Catholic household, leaving and developing an adult secular morality without the juvenile carrot and stick of the Eye in the Sky, heaven and hell etc was one of the best things I ever did.

I don't see why anyone who is an atheist should be expected to go to church in the same way you wouldn't expect someone who believes to stop going. I don't think your MIL is being respectful of your beliefs.
As an atheist, I find church services very awkward but will go for a specific reason eg. weddings, funerals. SIL had both her DC christened so we went but had to sit through the entire service. I just sit there not partaking in anything!

you think someone should take part in a religious ceremony that they don't believe in?
Why?
Would you expect eg. a practising muslim to attend a catholic mass just to be polite?

@WaterFeatures juvenile carrot and stick of the Eye in the Sky, heaven and hell etc

Oi !

You can express your opinion without being offensive and ridiculing people's belief systems.

Muslims believe that Mohommed owned a flying horse called Buraq that he used to travel around the area. Are you going to make jokes about that? If so, make a packed lunch, because you'll be in hiding for a long time 🙄

When people bash Christianity I wonder what religious/non-religious rights they think Christians are seeking to take away from them?

It's interesting that whenever there is "woo" thread and someone is pestered by something that goes "bump" in the night, posters are yelling for the home-owner to get a Priest. 😁

You can express your opinion without being offensive and ridiculing people's belief systems.

She expressed the opinion that it is juvenile.

It's interesting that whenever there is "woo" thread and someone is pestered by something that goes "bump" in the night, posters are yelling for the home-owner to get a Priest. 😁

You mean almost as if different people with different views posted different things?

I don't see this as any different to I am not a football but have been to a few matches as if football is important to my husband and his family, my husband has been to some of my events as same importance to me and my family

Wait until kids come along, then the pressure will ramp up.

Nip it in the bud now. Just say you do what you want but I think it's all bollocks and I have no intention of wasting my time on it.

That should end the discussion.

What I am saying is that some people are quick to "rubbish" Christianity but if some people have an "entity" that has moved in and keeps hiding their car keys, going "bump in the night" etc others are quick to recommend a Priest.

Not a Shaman, not Kali, not Briget, not Nezha, just a bog standard Christian Priest.
I wonder why there is such a dichotomy ? 😁

Of course people can say offensive things about any and all religions! As Stewart Lee once said, you can't offend a super being 🤣

You can't police thoughts and freedom of expression just because it will hurt feelings.

I wouldn’t go. If you go once she’ll be nagging for you to go more often.

DH’s family is very Catholic. MIL used to call me “The Heathen” and would try and guilt DH into nagging me into going to church.

I have been to weddings and funerals but refused to go to normal services. I have no interest and, to be honest, the synchronised responses and the automatic standing, sitting and kneeling was pretty creepy. Also the sermons generally make me want to roll my eyes and I don’t know the tune to the songs.

I did attend a 3 hour long ordination ceremony for a new priest. It was fascinating from an anthropological point of view, very dull overall but sporadically hilarious.

If you’re not religious, and specifically not Catholic, then attending is pointless.

Hollywood.

So why is this government trying to make Islamophobia a criminal offence?

And why are people in prison for posting "hurty words" on Twitter etc?

I know many people treat it as such, but football is NOT the same as a religion

It is in Glasgow and used to be in Liverpool.....

What has Hollywood got to do with it?

It happens on Mumsnet !

I've been religious for patches of my life, a lapsed Protestant for a lot of it with a string intersst in Judaism, and am now a really stony hearted atheist. I just don't do any of it any more (ok thats not absolutely true, i still occasionally kindle the Shabbas lights and i celebrate my own cultural festivals like Christmas in my own way). I will happily visit churches as monuments and i will go to weddings and funerals if i have to but i won't set foot in a service otherwise. At your stage of life I would probably have gone along with it but that would have been the wrong choice. It's from two sexist beliefs: mainly about the grandchildren I bet but also because pretty much all religions really believe that it's the woman who will make the religious home, and therefore controlling the public and private religious practice of women is crucial to saving the souls of men. Needless to say I think all these beliefs are bollocks.

Lighthearted but absolute pushback from you. 'You are certainly persistent MIL! Answer hasn't changed from last time'.

:-) my standard response to any suggestion I attend church is no thanks, it's too hard to stop bursting into flames ;-)

Because this Labour government is fucking nuts.

Also, it's crazy to think that little children can be forced to attend faith schools and exposed to this nonsense as fact. As Richard Dawkins says, it's a form of child abuse.

I have thought about it, by the way... degrees in Theology and 20 years as a teacher of RE. It's bollocks, interesting but bollocks nonetheless.

Glad my kids are being brought up unencumbered by guilt, the idea that someone is watching them, the concept that God should come before family etc etc

Because Islamaphobia is pretty much always racist.

And the 'hurty words' on Twitter were also racist with incitement to violence, telling the rioters to burn down hotels full of asylum seekers.

YANBU but your DP’s mum is for repeatedly asking you. I would think twice about joining any family who are Catholic…

Why had OP’s thread been hijacked by posters discussing Islamophobia
leave it out!

I just meant people are familiar with the tropes...
The Exorcist etc.
It's associated with the RC Church in many people's minds because of the influence of movies

@FrodisCapering Because this Labour government is fucking nuts.

I would agree with that x 100.

It's the only part of your post I do agree with, but hey-ho you can't win 'em all. 😁