Gender and pronouns

[Wyki]

Before I start, the daily mail and other papers can all fuck off

I’m prepared to be flamed for this as I’ve been here long enough to know how it all works but….

aibu to tell my son he can’t have his partner over any more

It’s a new relationship. My son is 21 and the new partner is 18

He barely works and is consequently on a low salary however he does help me with childcare (that I pay a minimal amount for)

the new partner is a very petite pink haired “girl” that does ballet and dance but uses the pronoun he/him

my 11 year old daughter is finding it confusing and asked if her brother is gay. I replied with “no because the partner is very feminine and is a girl despite the pronouns” (I couldn’t care less if he was gay, sexuality isn’t important)

So am I being unreasonable in saying the partner doesn’t come over as it’s just too weird and I don’t want that example being set for my daughter

My son doesn’t consider himself gay as he is in a sexual relationship with an adult female

i think if the ops son thinks he’s straight then he's straight 🤷🏻

you sound like my friends when i told them ds1 was gay

If a female person declares that they are fine with that breach of boundaries when their lovely male friend / family member / or even a stranger enters a female single sex space the outcome really is dismissing other female people’s needs. It also says they will prioritise their friend’s wants over anyone else’s needs.

They are declaring in fact that a man's self expression and wishes matters more to them than any woman's needs, access or anything else.

They are declaring their own sexism and belief in the rightful subordination of women to men. However subconsciously. They believe deep down that good girls serve men. And serve up other girls to men. The man's approval of them outweighs whatever happens to those girls. They're only girls; they don't matter like he does.

It's quite grim to witness, it really is.

I looked it up. The oldest woman to give birth was 73 through IVF.

Obviously not prioritising the welfare of the baby but sometimes doctors will facilitate bad things as many of us has observed.

You don’t get out much do you? Aww bless.

You can’t even claim that you only hang out in naice toilets like Marks & Sparks - men have been found in the ladies being extremely disgusting and intimidating elderly women even there!

haha!

Also, our local M&S toilets were often filled during the day with mothers washing out their clothes. Because that is where our mother's groups hung out due to the cafe being large and air conditioned with more than 1 toilet.

It was a regular occurrence to see a woman with her top unbuttoned trying to clean up and dry off.

When people post like that poster, you start to wonder if they have even been to a female public toilet. I walked into one in my local pub the other day to a woman in her bra drying her top because she spilled wine on herself.

The first time I miscarried I was at work. The second time I was driving down the M4.

I've never thought anything was lucky about either of those experiences but perhaps I was lucky not to have to deal with any male colleagues or strangers in the work or service station toilets.

I certainly had no control over the timing or ability to choose which toilets I miscarried in.

The third, fourth and fifth times it happened I was at home because of lockdown. Perhaps that was lucky too.

I totally agree with all of this, but just to clarify, they're probably not conscious of all of this. Misogyny is so deeply ingrained in our society.

I walked into one in my local pub the other day to a woman in her bra drying her top because she spilled wine on herself.

I may have been known to do that once (or twice) when in party mode 🤣🤣

I started to miscarry in a pub toilet in Betws-y-Coed.

We had a MNer who helped deliver a baby in the women’s toilet. A woman caught out with a baby coming quickly and the medics with not enough time to get there.

But apparently, women’s needs in single sex spaces are easy to dismiss.

Thank you. I will never go back there, beautiful though it is. I just can't.

to Miss Scarlett and to Arraminta and all of the other women who have experienced the same.

Absolutely 💐

Ok.

But the fact he did not ask a TW to bear his child does not mean he does not think TW are women.

There are many non TW he would not ask to bear his child either (I have one example) - I don’t think that means he does not view them as women either.

You are assuming your definition of womanhood is his definition of womanhood. (That’s the “only logic fail” btw.)

Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But is choice of surrogate is not evidence either way.

@JHound - you’re really on a wind up, aren’t you?! It’s obvious that “transwomen” aren’t women. Hence the “trans” huge red flag which screams “man here!” And, no, transwomen can’t get pregnant. Actually, I unfortunately saw a video on the hell that is Facebook, whereby a trans identifying woman had had all the surgery to look like she had a male body. She then wanted to have a baby with her girlfriend. Some of the comments under the video were horrific - people asking her why she couldn’t impregnate her girlfriend now she had had surgery 🤦‍♀️. So maybe you genuinely think transwomen are women, if so it sadly appears you aren’t alone.

Goodness the lengths people will go to in order to pretend they don't know what men are if men tell them to.

So imagine a 'transwoman' presents themselves, aged 28 and in perfect reproductive health (according to their biology, natch). You really think there's a chance Daly would have opted for this person to be their surrogate? Really?

And imagine he did (lol). How would it have played out in the clinic do we think?

Clearly though, this situation would never happen in real life and we all know why. Because Daly (like every other sane human being) does not really think that TWAW - and in a situation where it actually matters to him, he'll drop that pretence like a hot potato.

It's absolutely extraordinary, isn't it?

And this is how I know I'd never be able to play along. I'm just not willing to pretend I'm that stupid. I expect that's the sin of pride talking 🫠

Ok.

That is quite the take. Or has fetishising now taken on a meaning to be discussing a wide range of observations gathered from life?

Just because you have lived a life where people aren’t using female toilets for a range of basic female needs doesn’t mean you can attempt to shame others from discussing what they have experienced.

And how amazing that you are on mumsnet and yet don’t seem to understand that mothers regularly are vomited on, have drinks spilled on them, have breastmilk leaks when they are out and about. And that they have to use female toilets to clean up.

But yeah… discussing the needs of women is a fetish.

I am willing to acknowledge that I've just been very blind for the past 40 years and not noticed the half naked women waving faeces and menstrual blood covered clothing around. I think maybe I'm grateful for this and will just hope none of these women decides to buttonhole me outside a stall to tell me about their miscarriage while thrusting a moon cup in my face.

Truly, nowt so queer as folk.