To NOT feel guilty that my kids are in childcare?

[Kanfuzed123]

Inspired by the childcare eating a £45k salary and the anti nursery sentiment from a few posters on there as being inferior for a child.

anyone else not feel in the slightest guilty that there kids are in nursery and have been post maternity leave?

yeah when they cried at drop off was rough and I called into the check out they were but that soon settled. They do lovely events for the parents and upload lots of amazing activities they do, they’ve made fantastic friends.

I could’ve reduced my hours but I didn’t, we could’ve maybe managed on one salary (glad we didn’t when rates shot up) but I went back FT when dc 1 was 15 months (used annual leave for part time before then) and dc2 was 13 months.

anyone else just not feel guilty? I like the lifestyle we can get when we’re working, especially since the 15 funded hrs and now 30, it’s so affordable. (Eldest is in school and youngest now has the 30 hrs) bill is less than £400 a month inc club etc. I like having something else to focus on too.

im not alone or am I?

Absolutely. One of the things that made me stop going and not even bother at all next time around.

Because nursery fees were much less than the cost of giving up my career 🤷‍♀️

The only thing less than ideal in my mind was the cost prior to the 30 hrs funding.

no assuaging needed, I don’t feel like I’m doing anything guilt worthy. They didn’t start until 13 months and did 3 days a week until 18 months (eldest until 3) then went to 4. I don’t know but to me, feels a pretty good balance. 5 days started at nursery school age. They were both in nursery at the same time, one is preschool room and one in baby, so they got to spend time with each other in the day too. And will at wrap around after school club. That I feel more guilty about because my eldest doesn’t like it, so we minimise it to 3 days a week.

them going to nursery has meant I’m a more well rounded person, and we’ve been able to weather interest rate hikes and cost of living crisis and still afford to take them on holiday, have days out and not worry about money.

But you can see the difference in a 6 month hit to keep them there V a 3 year long career break right? You understand that 6 months is shorter than 3 yrs right?

I never felt guilty ds used to run in with a backwards wave there was no clinging on to me 🤔😆

worked for us

^ oops replied to the wrong comment there sorry. I meant to reply to the one that said they didn’t understand women who kept their kids in nursery whilst on mat leave but claimed they couldn’t afford a career break

Well, exactly.

But also "afford" is a relative term, we all want different things for ourselves and our families.

It is important to me that we have enough money for a four bedroom house (a bedroom for each child plus home office), live in a good area for schools, savings for retirement, savings for university/house deposits for our kids.

Those would all be difficult to afford if I had taken a lengthy career break. We could absolutely have afforded to live - probably a two bed flat or a three bed in a bit great school area - but that's not all I want from life.

I have not been convinced that childcare is so hideously damaging that avoiding it would be worth not being able to afford the other things that matter to me but of course others can make different choices