Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel annoyed we can’t go on another holiday this year

399 replies

Lifestooshort1542 · 10/04/2025 15:35

We usually do 2 abroad holidays a year one week each and 3 uk short breaks aswell.
This year we have come away abroad for 11 nights with the idea that if we came longer that would be our abroad holiday this year.
We have our 3 uk breaks booked this year too.
Well it’s nearing the end of our abroad holiday and I’m the type of person who’s always got to have something booked to look forward to (holidays are our thing we don’t spend money on anything else) so I’m now starting to get that holiday blues sad feeling of we are heading home in a few days and where usually we would be back in August we won’t be back until April again next year.

AIBU for thinking that waiting a year after an abroad family holiday is hard? Or do I need a reality check and look forward to our abroad holiday this time next year and we will do 11-14 nights again.

Financially we can afford to go in August this year but hubby works for his parents business and when I broached the subject to his mum that we may do a sneaky week in August she promptly informed me that he didn’t have any holiday days left (in fact he is already over his allowance of holidays with the breaks we’ve got booked in the uk this year)
I said well he can take a weeks unpaid and she said it’s not about the time off we’ve got a business to run and work to do.
So that annoyed me 😂

AIBU?

OP posts:
Strictlymad · 10/04/2025 22:45

DaisyChain505 · 10/04/2025 15:50

You’ve set the bait and you’re going to get bitten @Lifestooshort1542

You are very lucky and sound ungrateful for what you already have.

Many people haven’t had an abroad holiday in years let alone multiple and uk breaks.

count your blessings.

This! Not been abroad for 8 years, in that times we’ve had one uk break a year while you had five holidays each year. Boo hoo

bridgetreilly · 10/04/2025 22:45

Lifestooshort1542 · 10/04/2025 17:02

Thanks for all of the comments so far, I do feel very lucky and I am grateful for the holidays we have make no doubt about that.
I realise not everyone is in this fortunate situation, but when you’ve been used to it it is disappointing not to have that to look forward to in the way of an abroad holiday every 5-6 months and I just feel a year will be a long wait.

Well, then, plan better next time.

But in general, if you have three UK holidays to look forward to and another foreign holiday in a year’s time, you are being massively unreasonable to feel sorry for yourself. Maybe try finding some other things to do so that the rest of your life is more enjoyable too. It’s really not healthy to live from holiday to holiday like that.

bridgetreilly · 10/04/2025 22:47

ZoeCM · 10/04/2025 21:48

Financially we can afford to go in August this year but hubby works for his parents business and when I broached the subject to his mum that we may do a sneaky week in August she promptly informed me that he didn’t have any holiday days left (in fact he is already over his allowance of holidays with the breaks we’ve got booked in the uk this year)
I said well he can take a weeks unpaid and she said it’s not about the time off we’ve got a business to run and work to do.
So that annoyed me 😂

Why did that annoy you? She was well within her rights. And anyway, if the business goes under, you won't get any holidays at all!

Unpaid leave is not an automatic right. A job is a job, not an interlude between holidays. Grow up.

AngelicKaty · 10/04/2025 22:48

@Lifestooshort1542 Of course YABU. You're "financially stable" because you and your DH both work. The fact that your DH works in his parents' business doesn't give him the right to take more than his annual leave entitlement, so you being "annoyed" because your MIL pointed out to you "it’s not about the time off we’ve got a business to run and work to do" shows quite some degree of immaturity on your part. How many holidays would you be able to afford a year if your DH's parents' business went under and your DH lost his job?
Be thankful for everything you do have and stop spoiling the remaining days of your current holiday abroad sulking about having to wait 12 months for the next.

Spankmeonthebottomwithawomansweekly · 10/04/2025 22:50

Zanatdy · 10/04/2025 21:17

she is right, he can’t just take unpaid leave when they have a business to run. Either take UK holidays around long weekends or less UK holiday’s.

Why not? I do, so does my DH. Plenty of businesses offer that option.

BassesAreBest · 10/04/2025 22:52

Spankmeonthebottomwithawomansweekly · 10/04/2025 22:50

Why not? I do, so does my DH. Plenty of businesses offer that option.

Show quote history

Doesn’t sound like the business OP’s DH works for does, though, and it’s up to the employer not the employee’s wife…

NebulousWhistler · 10/04/2025 22:55

We do quite a few hols abroad every year. My husband can’t get May half term off and I quite fancy a week in the sun so I’m going away with the DC. Also doing a few breaks with my female friends. I also live for holidays. Work hard in a high stress job. A few holidays abroad are my way of decompressing.
Could you have a break with children/friends/sister?

ChicaWowWow · 10/04/2025 23:11

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 10/04/2025 21:27

I promise that was not my intention at all. We all like different things and I was just trying to say that we all prioritise different things. If we all had exactly the same income there would be some of us going on holiday and some of us with gorgeous hair and a newer car. It's all a personal choice. I don't think the op should have challenged her mil for what it's worth but I still think it's ok to be sad about missing something she really loves for the next 12 months

Show quote history

I think the majority of people who can't afford to go on holiday isn't because they splash on acrylic nails or other treats as you say. Wages haven't gone up as fast as everything else, the COL and global events have put a massive hole in people's pocket, and those who were already counting every penny are living hand to mouth. They'd love a holiday every year, like everyone else, and it's not because they don't have the same priorities 🙄 Even if you stopped having your nails done every month at £30, that wouldn't pay you a family holiday a year.

Loreli1983 · 10/04/2025 23:11

Oh how the other half live 🤣 my partner and I haven't been abroad for 8 years. A new home, 2 babies and massive childcare fees put an end to that!
Get a grip...

Whippetlovely · 10/04/2025 23:24

It's really sad that your on mumsnet while your on holiday. You can't be having a good time

PoppysAunt · 10/04/2025 23:26

Whippetlovely · 10/04/2025 23:24

It's really sad that your on mumsnet while your on holiday. You can't be having a good time

True. Also to feel sad about a lack of holiday when you're actually on holiday.

RobertaFirmino · 10/04/2025 23:29

My heart bleeds for you.

notatinydancer · 10/04/2025 23:32

Can’t you take the kids on your own in August ?

notatinydancer · 10/04/2025 23:41

Everyone is piling on , I can see why people are pissed off but everyone has different budgets and holiday habits.
Same as houses and cars, we all have a certain budget. OP is lucky to have a healthy budget, although she’s worded her post in a very goady clumsy way.

PluckyBamboo · 10/04/2025 23:48

LTB obviously 🙄

Masmavi · 11/04/2025 00:00

Finding it hard to have a great deal of sympathy....🙄

RobertaFirmino · 11/04/2025 00:10

🎻

uncomfortablydumb60 · 11/04/2025 00:22

Yes You need a reality check YABU

Crazyworldmum · 11/04/2025 02:14

I’m like you ! Last year only went abroad once , we normally do 2 or 3 trips but getting married this year and couldn’t do it . It was year of stress and I live in hope I can still go away later this year after the honeymoon . Holidays are my reward working all year ting er of the house I and kids and deal with all the stress.

EasternEcho · 11/04/2025 03:38

Tropicalturnip · 10/04/2025 20:31

I get it.
We used to go away abroad twice a year, but don't be now for various reasons and it feels rubbish! (And yes, I slog my guts out at work, am grateful for the fact I can afford holidays due to this, etc).
This year we've already had our abroad holiday, and due to now having to go in school holidays with the astronomical costs (new to us this year, didn't realise how crippling it is) and we won't be going again for over a year and it's a bloody long time to wait! I'd happily book two smaller holidays and go twice again next time.
I'm like you and need something to look forward to.
UK breaks are lovely but just not the same. I live for my holidays and we also don't really spend on much else.
You're getting a lot of hate, which I don't get. You both work and earn, and spend accordingly - you are allowed to feel disappointed! Just because other people aren't in the same boat it doesn't make your feelings unreasonable.

There is a difference between the right to feel what we feel and and expressing our feelings in a social setting, which is what a public forum is. In some cases, acting on our feelings may lead to a criminal charge, so physicallly we restrain ourselves. But we give verbal and written exprssions a pass because of the perception that we aren't really doing any harm. Being aware that expressing our disappointment at not having a third holiday abroad when many haven't had a holiday for 8 years can be just bad taste. Expressing our feelings out loud which lead to others feeling bad lacks emotional intelligence in my opinion. I'm not sure why, but those who use this as a defence also couple it with "I work my arse off to afford it". I'm quite certain that most of those who can't afford it also work their arses off. A little awareness over how and where we express our feelings go a long way. Also, if we decide to express our feelings to others, there is no obligation on the readers' or listeners' part to sympathise or empathise as they are entitled to their feelings too, which ironically, then posters like you seem to object to. There is a sense of entitlement there.

TariffPenguin · 11/04/2025 03:41

Why are you scared to be at home

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 11/04/2025 03:54

In the words or Nik Kershaw. "You've got it easy. You don't know when you've got it good"

Codlingmoths · 11/04/2025 04:00

RitaAndFrank · 10/04/2025 15:57

YABU, op.

FWIW it sounds like your dh’s parents have had enough of their son taking the proverbial

What? They’ve had enough of him taking a perfectly standard amount of annual leave? Fine, she’s asked for more. Once. Most people have 25 days so an 11 day trip and a few weekends doesn’t break the leave bank. Are you sure he’s used up his leave? Doesn’t sound like it to me.

CharityShopMensGlasses · 11/04/2025 04:12

I've not been abroad since 2019.
Check your privilege

HeyThereDelila · 11/04/2025 04:16

You’re very spoilt and frankly need to grow up.