For not wanting to sleep at partners house from Friday to Sunday every weekend?

[Tobbay]

So, context....
I say "partner" but we have known each other 8 weeks so 🤷🏻‍♀️
I am 50 and he is 54, he has no children at home and works 2rs a day so has heaps of free time.
I have a 21yr old and a 18yr old and an ageing cat who I love like a third Son! I also work in a very emotionally and physically challenging job, with violent children with trauma based backgrounds.

I have spent the last 3yrs healing from an abusive relationship and as much as I'd like to share time and life with someone, I also want to spend time with my children, my friends and myself! I need quiet time alone o reset. I run ultras and running and the gym make me happy.

The guy is already miffed that I didn't sleep at his house on the last day of term, but I'd explained I was totally shattered. The next 5 days he was very off with me and he told me it wasn't working out. After lots of "drawing blood from a stone" he said he wanted to see me all of every weekend and at least 2 or 3 times on the weekdays.

AIBU that I think he is being unreasonable??

Stay strong and have boundaries and protect your own happiness and life

He is absolutely being unreasonable. And controlling. And sulky. I would not have this, at ALL.

Chuck this one back. Demanding and sulky?! No ta.

Throw him back. He’s an arsehole.

After 8 weeks I wouldn’t be putting up with sulking. Coaxing out his reasons for being irritated and having to do what he wants to avoid silent treatment? No thank you.

Run a mile in the opposite direction.

8 weeks too many by the sound of it.

That's far too unreasonable

At 50, you need your space and freedom to do your own thing

Ltb x

You’re 50, 8 weeks and you need to ask? Wants you on demand. Keep doing your ultras and bin him

You've only known each other 8 weeks. That's insane! He sounds a bit controlling, as if he wants every second of your spare time. This would be a red flag for me

sulky? No I don’t think so. Next! 🙋🏻‍♀️

After 8 weeks?? Far too much too soon. So many red flags.

Also I pressed the wrong AIBU button in error. You’re definitely not BU

Think we all know why he's single!

This is a guy you have known for 8 weeks and he is already trying to make you personally responsible for his wellbeingand to give up all other priorities in favour of making him the centre of your universe.

Throw this one back! You do not need this man in your life.

You are not being unreasonable! You don’t neeed an excuse not to want to spend all your free time with someone. You’re allowed to spend your time however you want. I would be very concerned by this behaviour.

Why do you call him “Partner”? He doesn’t seem keen on doing any work to see you.

You know you can change your vote just click the other option

Dump and move on. He sounds extreme controlling

Thanks guys. I also think I'm NOT BU but after making a bad choice in my last relationship, there was a part of me that thought should i be more flexible.

Obviously I'd see him a little more but absolutely, definitely NOT every weekend, especially staying at his Fri-Sun!

I haven't had him over or even told him my address because I don't want him to know my address until I'm 110% sure about him and don't want my boys (even though they are adults) to meet someone, only for that to not work out and then the boys suffer another loss (after their Dad and I got divorced)

After 8 weeks, he's not your partner, he's someone you're still getting to know. It's totally up to you how you spend your time - if he doesn't like it wave him goodbye! He sounds demanding and sulky, neither of which are endearing personality traits. Personally, I'd be running for the hills!

This is a new relationship and before it you had your own life and priorities. At this stage he should understand and be respectful of your time, not demanding. There’s nothing wrong with expressing a desire to spend more time with you, but it needs to be reasonable.

If he doesn’t currently have enough in his life, that’s his problem to solve - not yours.

You’re an amazing runner. You run ultras. You know what to do.

he is like this after less than two months?
why are you bothering?

You have got to do what suits you and your life and your commitments OP.
He sounds very demanding. And if you were to " give in" and spend time with him against all your inclinations the relationship wouldn't last long anyway.

I just need to say how taken I am with the idea of your third son cat. It conjures up an absolutely lovely picture of him mooching around the house fully aware he has equal footing with your other sons.

Run! In the opposite direction!